subliminal suggestion :p hee hee..
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophia_Loren this is who I thought of when you mentioned Sophia

Gee thanks a lot. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned that I am susceptible to suggestions.

Very cool, I thought the name sounded vaguely familiar.

I don't think you are in trouble...just finally realizing...like me...it has always been there...but after my divorce came on me like a freight train...Started back up on PM today to try and quiet her down.....

Sorry to hear about the divorce, hopefully wasn't due to NBE.

As for the realization, that has been clicking more and more each day. I think I have a lot of suppressed memories and feelings that are all coming out of the woodworks. I think PM and traveling is not helping my situation, it seems to enabler her further. :p

I don't think you are in trouble...just finally realizing...like me...it has always been there...but after my divorce came on me like a freight train...Started back up on PM today to try and quiet her down.....

Sorry to hear about the divorce, hopefully wasn't due to NBE.

As for the realization, that has been clicking more and more each day. I think I have a lot of suppressed memories and feelings that are all coming out of the woodworks. I think PM and traveling is not helping my situation, it seems to be enabler her further. :p

Darth Vader was a girl.. join the darkside.. Luke.. i am your mother!

it seems, that many of us, once we come to the realization of WHO we are, we can relax, then the healing and balancing can begin. In the denial phase, we often become self-loathing, and loathe others, because we are not content with who we are.. that bit of mental morphology will soon expedite. its like discovering a new world, in your own mind.

But ignorance is bliss... I was unaware, but now I am slowly becoming self aware. And while things are starting to click and make sense, I can't help but wonder if maybe I was better off before. Time and time again the phrase ignorance is bliss has proven to be true. Now I have self doubt and confusion, my future is now cloudy and uncertain.

Ironically plays perfectly to your quote below.

Darth Vader was a girl.. join the darkside.. Luke.. i am your mother!

Good or bad, I feel as though it is all but a matter time.

On another note, why the handle name change?

it seems, that many of us, once we come to the realization of WHO we are, we can relax, then the healing and balancing can begin. In the denial phase, we often become self-loathing, and loathe others, because we are not content with who we are.. that bit of mental morphology will soon expedite. its like discovering a new world, in your own mind.

But ignorance is bliss... I was unaware, but now I am slowly becoming self aware. And while things are starting to click and make sense, I can't help but wonder if maybe I was better off before. Time and time again the phrase ignorance is bliss has proven to be true. Now I have self doubt and confusion, my future is now cloudy and uncertain.

Ironically plays perfectly to your quote below.

Darth Vader was a girl.. join the darkside.. Luke.. i am your mother!

Good or bad, I feel as though it is all but a matter time.

On another note, why the handle name change?

i thought " a little allelomorph " was cute and playful , i will eventually go back to my regular name when i tire of this one

I don't think you are in trouble...just finally realizing...like me...it has always been there...but after my divorce came on me like a freight train...Started back up on PM today to try and quiet her down.....

Sorry to hear about the divorce, hopefully wasn't due to NBE.

As for the realization, that has been clicking more and more each day. I think I have a lot of suppressed memories and feelings that are all coming out of the woodworks. I think PM and traveling is not helping my situation, it seems to enabler her further. :p

No the divorce was not about NBE....but was about coming out...not a tg....plus the marriage was not good for a long time...You are probably right about the traveling...the last 8 years since divorcing..have had much time to sit and think...and all these thoughts have flooded me with wondering who and what I am....I initially came out as gay......but as the years go on..I wonder....I fight so hard, sometmes winning, then she has to annoy me with Let me out.....wish I could just shut her up....lol

I really like Sofia....

The name is really growing on me too. I'm in trouble aren't I? Oh well, I think I'm way past slowing down, I think I'm sliding down that slippery slope faster than a speeding bullet. Maybe once all my traveling has come to a halt things will slow down, or somewhat reverse.

Yeah, I'm sure it will

I did try cold turkey to slow her down, that didn't work for me. ( you may have better luck ? ) She gets harder and harder to fight, welcome to the club.

i thought " a little allelomorph " was cute and playful , i will eventually go back to my regular name when i tire of this one

Oh, okay... Sounds good to me.

No the divorce was not about NBE....but was about coming out...not a tg....plus the marriage was not good for a long time...You are probably right about the traveling...the last 8 years since divorcing..have had much time to sit and think...and all these thoughts have flooded me with wondering who and what I am....I initially came out as gay......but as the years go on..I wonder....I fight so hard, sometmes winning, then she has to annoy me with Let me out.....wish I could just shut her up....lol

Thanks for the explanation. I understand the confusion, I'm not exactly sure who I am anymore. I mean I've always known I'm an odd ball, but this goes a bit beyond that. I guess there is no shutting her up. The funny thing is, I never believed it. I read it over and over on here, but never experienced it so I figured that I must be immune. Ha ha ha ha, oops, guess I was wrong. Oh well, it happens.

Yeah, I'm sure it will

I did try cold turkey to slow her down, that didn't work for me. ( you may have better luck ? ) She gets harder and harder to fight, welcome to the club.

Ha ha, sarcasm noted.

Actually what I am afraid of is that when my travels stop she will become like a fierce caged animal, and will eventually break out at a most inconvenient of time. Not sure if I really want to go cold turkey, but if it becomes too much, I'll give it a shot. I completely forgot tomorrow is my 18 months anniversary. So I'll be on a single dose of PM all week. Hopefully I avoid any meltdowns this time around. I'll keep fighting the "good" fight for as long as I can, but I am doubtful how long I can last.