26-03-2024, 09:14 AM
Its not going to happen. I'm really close of scrubbing my old YT channel of all old videos anyway. I never was much of a guy to begin with.
I rather not make silly comparisons to my past. I'm doing everything in my power to go further away from it, its not nostalgic or fun to keep digging it all up, at least not for now. Maybe it will be in ten or fifteen years, but not now. I want to be me, I don't want to remember the silly roleplaying character I lived as. This is something that people keep doing, especially cis people from my old life, they keep on bringing past up all the time. My past is colouring my present for them. They don't accept me, they do not see a woman, they see a guy in a dress because in their mind I'm still a man somehow. Surface level acceptance is just lip service as there is no understanding and its impossible to change their minds unless they do it on their own.
Can you believe it how they don't even think I'm cis passing? My uncle made a remark about it last week, something about people maybe treating me badly. Like hell they do, they don't know. But these people cannot fathom the idea that I am a woman and that my transition has been so perfect in less than three years time that I stealth pass to strangers. Not even my girlfriends's parents know, I'm a cis woman to them. People cannot be taught this stuff, it has to come from within. This is what it means when people say that everyone transitions along, or they don't. Most of them never will transition their minds.
May the past rust in peace. Deadname is truly dead.
I rather not make silly comparisons to my past. I'm doing everything in my power to go further away from it, its not nostalgic or fun to keep digging it all up, at least not for now. Maybe it will be in ten or fifteen years, but not now. I want to be me, I don't want to remember the silly roleplaying character I lived as. This is something that people keep doing, especially cis people from my old life, they keep on bringing past up all the time. My past is colouring my present for them. They don't accept me, they do not see a woman, they see a guy in a dress because in their mind I'm still a man somehow. Surface level acceptance is just lip service as there is no understanding and its impossible to change their minds unless they do it on their own.
Can you believe it how they don't even think I'm cis passing? My uncle made a remark about it last week, something about people maybe treating me badly. Like hell they do, they don't know. But these people cannot fathom the idea that I am a woman and that my transition has been so perfect in less than three years time that I stealth pass to strangers. Not even my girlfriends's parents know, I'm a cis woman to them. People cannot be taught this stuff, it has to come from within. This is what it means when people say that everyone transitions along, or they don't. Most of them never will transition their minds.
May the past rust in peace. Deadname is truly dead.