18-09-2023, 04:42 PM
(18-09-2023, 03:46 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: I'm surprised how many chimed in to support me... I didn't expect it, just from feeling down and crying out my problems. I wish this was somehow easier to deal with, transition, mental health, all the pressure to comform to cis het norms and everything. And I do have to comform a lot just to gain tolerance, let alone acceptance. These days its a bit easier as I'm 100% stealth to people who don't know me much and even to some new ones, my girlfriends parents do not know my background and have zero idea about it.Glad you are feeling better. Your beasts are 100% female I'm jealous. Just remember you have only been on hot 27 months and genetic female takes 4-5 years to fully develop. As they say Rome wasn't built in a day --you have made so much progress I know it can be frustrating but those dreams of a little girl will come. Girl your face looks great nothing masculine about it let's see aa smile Ha Ha hope your day continues to get better.
Then there are all the pressure about looks, troubles of a woman and on top of that, a transgender woman. Being on the fringe of even our tribe with more than likely intersex condition doesn't make it any easier. There is a lot of stuff I can't really talk about to much anyone except partners and the very few intersex friends I have. Somehow I end up befriending trans women who share this weird fate with me, seemingly by chance. I guess birds of feather flock together.
And then there's dreams of the little girl who was suppressed and silenced for so long. Dreams of a social life of a woman, of beauty, becoming a mother and so on. Stuff that feels impossibly far away. I think for beauty I have some kind of a chance, social life, maybe? And the latter is too painful to talk about. Its rough. And then I have to somehow find energy to put up a fight for my rights within the healthcare system too. I wish this time was stress free like I wanted it to. I would just want to enjoy the changes, go all in with growing boobs and have some fun, but it feels there is no rest, no fun, no stress free times at all. I've been on sickleave for over two years almost at all times and yet I feel all this stuff is slowly burning me out.
At least its not totally lonely, getting such reaction here on BN feels so good. I didn't think much anyone would chime in except for the regulars. Thanks. Its making me feel better.