18-09-2023, 12:19 PM
I'm busy accepting that I'm ugly and not worth anything... Its all people keep telling me, accept, become content with not being pretty. I'm not pretty, I look like shit. Its better I never post pictures.
Its 27 months on HRT today... I wont measure, I wont post pics, I wont update my timeline. I also had a phone call from transclinic, they finally gave green light to actually start my treatments. I should get a call from a doctor in near future about booking referrals and stuff, maybe they stop tormenting me and actually help me finally after all this time. Its been only two and half years of playing games with my life so very timely to actually do something. Maybe they allow me to become a woman enough to fit in somehow.
I have also the body contouring in planning, next step is to deal with the money so its all ready for consultation and booking it. Maybe it will make my body actually beautiful, getting way more curves and finally having the pretty tiny waist I can't get no matter what I do, nothing does it as I'm unable to lose weight and being such a loser I can't even do that.... But big money and surgery does what I can't. I'm going to get amazing waist to hip ratio. Not that it will help much, my face is as shit as ever as that would take another 15000€ to fix.
I can always dream of FFS, maybe that would make me feminine enough. Or maybe that too is a silly dream that can't happen. Fuck I'm on such terrible mood. I even got my prolactin boosting herbal stuff today and even that isn't cheering me up. I'm supposed to measure, take pics and update things.... No way to get anything done, I'm not worth the effort.
Its 27 months on HRT today... I wont measure, I wont post pics, I wont update my timeline. I also had a phone call from transclinic, they finally gave green light to actually start my treatments. I should get a call from a doctor in near future about booking referrals and stuff, maybe they stop tormenting me and actually help me finally after all this time. Its been only two and half years of playing games with my life so very timely to actually do something. Maybe they allow me to become a woman enough to fit in somehow.
I have also the body contouring in planning, next step is to deal with the money so its all ready for consultation and booking it. Maybe it will make my body actually beautiful, getting way more curves and finally having the pretty tiny waist I can't get no matter what I do, nothing does it as I'm unable to lose weight and being such a loser I can't even do that.... But big money and surgery does what I can't. I'm going to get amazing waist to hip ratio. Not that it will help much, my face is as shit as ever as that would take another 15000€ to fix.
I can always dream of FFS, maybe that would make me feminine enough. Or maybe that too is a silly dream that can't happen. Fuck I'm on such terrible mood. I even got my prolactin boosting herbal stuff today and even that isn't cheering me up. I'm supposed to measure, take pics and update things.... No way to get anything done, I'm not worth the effort.