18-09-2023, 11:28 AM
(18-09-2023, 10:41 AM)HelloDiDi Wrote:(18-09-2023, 10:23 AM)Niaja Wrote: There is absolutely nothing wrong with your face in your eyes you may see one thing but to others we see something different and that is a pretty girl. My only comment and I have said this to you before you have great lips ----don't looek so serious all the time just give us your pretty smile. You have come so far in your journey--it is not over. You are being to hard on yourself. I have seen sites were women have had makeovers and the results are amazing may I suggest you give it a thought and you will see just how beautiful you really are. Please don't leave usThe only actually good things about my face are my lips and nose. But I have awful asymmetry which is why I take pics a bit from the side.... Even that does not save my horrible jawline and chin being disgusting. And what about the weird androgyny? I somehow do not look feminine enough no matter what. I guess its T puberty and late start, unlike some other lucky dolls. Also I can't fake a smile, I need a good reason for it, I just can't pull it off for the camera and not look stupid. I've had this said so many times, I can't fake a smile... I smile if I'm on actually good mood and its rare. I don't even think it looks nice either.
Makeup I haven't touched for over two years because trying to learn it is a massive dysphoria trigger, I guess I should paint the beauty on me like everybody else because without I look like crap. It might work, but usually it just makes me look older. Maybe if I learn this and get FFS somehow, maybe then I would be called beautiful, gorgeous, what ever else instead of fucking "nice" which actually means I look like crap, mediocre or something.
I'm just tired of it all. Its better I never post anything, I'm never getting the kind of validation I keep wishing for. All while looking at others getting superlative praise all over me. Internet is horrible, social media is the worst, I mostly have completely cut it all out, I follow nothing, just post randomly and its better if I post nothing at all. Of course I could do makeup, then filter and photoshop the shit out of my pictures, clone stuff to hell and back and wipe out metadata to fake perfection. That's what others are doing, so I should maybe stop being naturally mediocre and jump on the fake perfection train. But that would never make me feel better, I'm not like that, I rather accept the suffering of not being good enough.
Thanks for encouragement anyway... Its not like words could ever fix me, my problem is my body and face and those can't be fixed with words. Its been a long slow downhill with this, I'm becoming disillusioned, my dreams are dying. Or some of them are.... At least I can compensate with curves for not being actually beautiful.
Social media is the worst filled with fake photo shopped pictures, makeup done right will enhance your natural beauty which you have. You are being way to hard on yourself I'm really concerned about you--we all can't look like miss universe I've come to accept that . We here on this site are here for you to give you support.