12-08-2023, 04:52 PM
I made it, no anxiety attacks, no need for a sedative. Of course it was sad and all that, but at the same time as nice as funerals can be. The ceremony was simple and quite quick as my uncle was cremated so no hassle with coffin and long walk on (huge) cemetary on a warm day. It was also nice to meet my relatives.
Uncles wife, my "spare grandma", she's one tough lady, in as good spirits as someone losing a seventy years husband can be. She even smiled a bit, told some stories about him and stuff. I'm going to visit her some time soon as she now lives alone. My cousins visit from time to time but everyone lives all over the place and have their own lives and so on. Not surprisingly all closer (older) relatives were cool with me as they're in the know and have met me from time to time during last two years but kids/wives etc. of my cousins were so weirded out, I got so many long stares and obvious wondering and trying to connect the dots about who I am and all that. That was priceless... This one guy in particular, every moment his gf/wife wasn't paying attention, he just couldn't keep his eyes off me very obviously thinking really hard trying to make it all work in his mind. It was kinda funny, I mean most of them I have met 15-25 years ago when I was kid and they were even smaller kids. I have met my cousins (Uncle has three sons) from time to time but their kids only very rarely. And then "suddenly" me being there as a woman after years or decades of not being in any contact must be one weird experience. Obviously someone has been talking and gossipping about me so they know my name and that I'm transitioning but that's about it.
I bet this will become even funnier in about two years or so, once most of my transition is complete. I know I wont see many of these people any time soon. Next occasion will likely be another funeral or perhaps a family meetup, wedding or what ever. We don't have this kind of formal stuff often so can't tell when is the next one coming.
And we got to eat well, hear some stories about my uncle and people were on as good mood as what it can be. I think it was a happy closure and very much the way my uncle would have wanted it. I know he wouldn't have wanted people to cry their eyes out and stare at the floor but rather share all great memories instead and that's how it turned out.
What I really liked a lot was how respectful and nice my relatives were with me. Not a single screw up with it, they're quite cool bunch and that's lucky. Other kind of people would hate my guts.
Uncles wife, my "spare grandma", she's one tough lady, in as good spirits as someone losing a seventy years husband can be. She even smiled a bit, told some stories about him and stuff. I'm going to visit her some time soon as she now lives alone. My cousins visit from time to time but everyone lives all over the place and have their own lives and so on. Not surprisingly all closer (older) relatives were cool with me as they're in the know and have met me from time to time during last two years but kids/wives etc. of my cousins were so weirded out, I got so many long stares and obvious wondering and trying to connect the dots about who I am and all that. That was priceless... This one guy in particular, every moment his gf/wife wasn't paying attention, he just couldn't keep his eyes off me very obviously thinking really hard trying to make it all work in his mind. It was kinda funny, I mean most of them I have met 15-25 years ago when I was kid and they were even smaller kids. I have met my cousins (Uncle has three sons) from time to time but their kids only very rarely. And then "suddenly" me being there as a woman after years or decades of not being in any contact must be one weird experience. Obviously someone has been talking and gossipping about me so they know my name and that I'm transitioning but that's about it.
I bet this will become even funnier in about two years or so, once most of my transition is complete. I know I wont see many of these people any time soon. Next occasion will likely be another funeral or perhaps a family meetup, wedding or what ever. We don't have this kind of formal stuff often so can't tell when is the next one coming.
And we got to eat well, hear some stories about my uncle and people were on as good mood as what it can be. I think it was a happy closure and very much the way my uncle would have wanted it. I know he wouldn't have wanted people to cry their eyes out and stare at the floor but rather share all great memories instead and that's how it turned out.
What I really liked a lot was how respectful and nice my relatives were with me. Not a single screw up with it, they're quite cool bunch and that's lucky. Other kind of people would hate my guts.