21-10-2022, 10:05 AM
(20-10-2022, 02:14 PM)myboobs Wrote: Why worry about what others think ? You are you and care not what others think. Once you accept that,Its not about what others think so much, its more about how I'm feeling existing within my body and how I perceive myself. Its about fixing dysphoria, no positive nice thoughts and acceptance fixes it. I must fix my body physically of my dysphoria will keep on slowly killing me and ruining my sanity. And then there is a part of "what others think", I want my loved ones to perceive me as pretty and attractive, I want to feel pretty, wanted and loved. I do care what my friends think of me.
it will bring inner peace and self confidence. Improving our body shape is nothing to look down on .
but don’t let that make you feel any lesser person
Ok and then to other stuff, can I whine and rant a bit? Can I vent my frustration about my body? Because I am very frustrated about it, dysphoric and pissed off... Yes things are going well with HRT and NBE, that is not an issue, the issue is how goddamn disgustingly big and bulky I am and how I have internalised a whole bunch of expectations and so called "ideals" which are all a fucking bullshit lie!
My body proportions are horrendously androgynous. My shoulders are wide, there's NOTHING I can do about it, not a fucking thing! How am I supposed to be fine with it?!? Somebody tell me? Acceptance, becoming content, bullshit! That's admitting failure and not trying to make things right. I may have an ace in my sleeve about this though, about making my hips and thighs get much wider which could offset the shoulder problem... Then my waist, its so tiny, so absolutely pretty and slim.... But its all covered by a thick layer of fat, a lot of which is old "male" fat that is still left. Its slowly melting away, but its so so mega slow. About this I also have an ace in my sleeve though. But its so painful. I have nothing against being chubby, heck I could be bigger and would mostly love it, but my waist disappearing is a massive problem. Its causing me extreme dysphoria which I didn't even know about until lately. So yea, figuring out my dysphoria has been rather interesting. Body shape and my over all size is a massive issue and likely the worst of it all. Thankfully body shape and proportions is something that can be dealt with and I am doing just that. Body shape is worse issue than my genitals which is a good second cause of dysphoria along with what is left of my facial hair.
And then there are the fucking fascist beauty standards and so called ideals! Its all fake, its all bullshit! Who's to say what is ideal? Who's to say what is beautiful? Who's the authority on this?!?!? What I see is always the prettiest, most standard conforming ones who keep on pushing these ideas. And also the most beautiful ones are those who preach body positive thinking and self acceptance. Its easy to accept oneself when everyone else is also approving of it. Nothing could be easier! Try to be like me and be body positive and self accepting. Omfg, at least I pass for a woman these days and not some joke walking by. But hell I'm so wide and tall, even with losing height, gaining curves and all, I'm still nowhere near fitting to any goddamn nazi beauty standards. Likely never will.
Fuck the standards, they're made for generic normies anyway.