(17-12-2021, 06:24 PM)Sonya Wrote:Hi DiDi,
I'm glad to hear your time off social media is paying off; as somebody who grew up when IRC was all the rage, playing MUDs was cool, and Kevin Mitnick was about to become famous, and father to a 15yo girl, I see the terrible psychological damage Facebook, Instagram and Co can, and actually do. May I suggest you stay off them until you are back to a rock solid state of mind?. I'd keep only the ones used strictly for communication e.g. Whatsapp, Signal etc...
Having been at the mercy of depression as well, I know keeping supportive people around can make all the difference, so I'm very happy that you have found your cousin to be an ally. Keep her close, and do try to make an effort to meet your friends; it'll be difficult at first but I'm sure once you see them you'll think "why didn't I do it earlier?" . It's great to se your doctor is so supportive, I hope if/when I transition mine is as nice as yours. And remember, you have plan, keep focused on it and you will eventually get there, whether it takes 2 months or 6 or 12 doesn't matter, what matters is that it gets done. Hugs, Sonya
Hi Sonya. <3
Yea, its been hugely helpful to shut out almost everything for a while... Just some chatting on Discord and fb messenger and few posts here and that's been about it. No Reddit, no Facebook... Oh and Instragram etc., those I wont ever touch with a ten foot pole, I'm not that bad of a masochist. I grew up with the early days of internet too, back when (anti)social media was at its infancy and that was a better time in a way. The non-organic favoritism of modern social media machinery wasn't there to cause any harm, everything back then online seemed so much more real.
Reddit has been the worst offender within the last year or so, I've had a big need for finding friends and peer support, on that, its been somewhat helpful but its also extremely damaging, rubbing in the ridiculous "standard" to which trans women are supposed to, somehow, adhere to... Which 99% of us can never reach. Trans Reddits are often like what Instagram is to cis girls... Living puberty 2.0 does not make this any more easier, dysphoria does not give rats ass about logic and making sense. Having total time out is working way better.
I've had some good time in the last days, my cousin has been hugely helpful, even though she's struggling with variety of mental issues herself, but omg, she's such a good friend.... In a short time, I consider her my sister, for real. <3
My trans friends however have been kinda disappointing. They've been so busy going clubbing and such, I feel left out. They left just a while back to go for the third time and left me alone. This whole day I've felt tossed aside. I wanted to get dolled up and go too, but due to the covid restrictions, I had to stay back.(I haven't got the covid shot.) Oh and no way to find some alternative fun which I could take part too? I sit here alone while they go for drinks, dancing and guys. It feels so unfair. I would love to enjoy this time, preferably with friends, but their own amusement seems far more important than me. What ever, new opportunities will show up.
The social media break, if I keep complete time off all the way until I'm in better shape mentally.... Might take for a very very long time. I have huge burden of things to work out somehow.
The trans clinic doctor, she's really awesome. I hope she's the one I'll deal with the most as she seemed to be on the same page and even expedited my case. My friend confirmed this btw, most do not get therapy referral written right away, usually that is done after the diagnosis. I'm going to try to keep this up, ask them to help me out with everything they can, as soon as possible. It seems to be working out already as my doc concluded very quickly that I'm an obvious case and really need help. I wish I can convince all the others I have to deal with too.
Btw, I'm only two days shy of having been on HRT for six months.