21-07-2021, 09:15 PM
(21-07-2021, 01:00 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote: Its just disappointing... Get big boobs which look three sizes less than what they are and not get the things I would wish for. Decent projection and bigger areolas and nipples.... Well, Can't have it all I guess. I juts would want to succeed in something as most of my life has been more or less disappointment. Heck I feel like an impostor wearing my new bra which makes things look so nice... The moment I take it off feels awful, its almost like going from having boobs to having next to nothing as it accentuates so much.
I'm just being moody and depressed today, it'll go away like it always does. This is the kind of shit dysphoria does. Its hard to believe how difficult it can be to deal with. I think I would be much more at ease if I knew anything about when I'm going to get help and how. But I have no option than to wait for the medieval trans healthcare to start moving its gears. Well there is a way to get a HRT prescription quite easy if it works out but in that case I ofc have to pay it all myself... I can get E, that's not an issue, but everything else costs arm an leg depending a bit where I get it. So yea, I should be set with the medication ok, but I can't afford much more than what I'm doing now.
The difficult thing is that I feel all alone. Online friends help a bit, irl friends help a bit too, but none of them are trans... My gf is an angel, I would be completely depressed and lost without her, that's for sure. But I think I need help, actual real heal help and its still months away. I'm really glad I got the sick leave arranged. But soon I must go get more as that asshole doctor didn't give me more than three weeks. My problems will not be solved in weeks, it will take months at least.
Didi
Think ahead to the near future, when your no long trans, but a woman.
all of this and probably us will be a part of a foggy dream, as you enjoy your new life as the woman you deserve to be.
Bobbi