[Ninja]

The dress looks fantastic on you, you have come so far don't loose heart. I  feel you will get SRS you never know wha will happen in the future. Sounds like public health care sets crazy standards just to save money. BMI of 28 what would you have to loose to get to that BMi   sounds crazy to me.

[HelloDiDi]

Not surprisingly, I do not ever vote for our lovely right wing jesus fascist fucktards either. I really miss our red-green leftist govt. They got transition law in, they got medical costs down... Good stuff, not this bullshit which is trying to turn Finland into Hungary or Belorussia or something. That's what they seem to want, wreck all welfare systems and support structure, kill poor people with hunger, force LGBT people back to closet, stop transition healthcare completely and the list goes on. Oh and the latest was pulling funding from peace organisations, the ones who work for equal rights, ending racism and discrimination and what not. All nice civilised things are of no value to them. Fuck the govt!

About getting SRS somehow, there's no way some health fascist doctors or one Finnish asshole goverment would stop me from living a happy life and fixing my body. They can't stop me, I don't care what it takes to arrange funding for this, I have to find a way. I deserve to have anatomically correct body. I will get there, with or without help.

Getting it in Thailand would cost me around 17000€ give or take some. I have to find a way to pay for that. Thankfully my plastic surgeon is such a cool guy he offered help finding out information and talking to some of his colleagues who are dealing with trans healthcare. He's so awesome, putting in extra effort to help me out which isn't even his specialty. I so much love the guy, he's really putting in the effort and even extra which I haven't paid for. There's two things that get shit done and those are money and relations, seems like my surgeon is helping with latter a whole lot if things work out. I might have a better idea on how to proceed quite soon.

Second phase of my surgery is set for September, dates aren't open yet there, but I'm getting a call as soon as it is and then we set the date. We talked some about the details. Breasts will get more upper and outer fullness on top and a lot more volume. I said to just go as much as possible because I'm hoping to get another cup size or two. Flanks will be detailed, not to fitness style skinny, but slimmer than what it is now, tummy will get once again less volume and shaping and my surgeon said what I kinda wished for too, that we will leave me a little tummy pouch as that's what I naturally got there and its quite pretty and feminine shaped, so that will be spared. Then I told him that my hips curve on backside is so amazing and I wish that to get accentuated more and it will be done. He said its a great way to accentuate hips without a BBL which is much more risky than liposuction, I agreed, its very likely I wont need lower body shaping after all as my current program is making my lower body thicker on quite a pace.

More about all this later, I might be absent for a while as moving is going on for next few days and I might be without electricity in our new home for a bit. It'll be turned on on 1st of May so might be a little black out first. I got to go sleep early, few very long days ahead.

[CM213]

I'm so sorry that happened. These so-called professionals don't know squat when it comes to gender or farming care. I hate how everything's based off of one specific so-called experts opinion on how to treat and prescribe people medicine

[MaleSise]

I thought that the right-wing parties were more liberal in the north than in the south. And in the end it's all the same shit. Unfortunately, we had a left-wing government, but it was very incompetent and because of the fear of the right, it did some things that did not suit it. Then came the center-right government, which did more for the rights of gender minorities than the previous left-wing government. In our country, the right often points out the Scandinavian left-liberal democracy in its arguments as something negative that destroys the family and imposes woke propaganda on children. I am allergic to right-wingers, because they impose hypocrisy, double standards and false morality, and they themselves do not adhere to these "values". Now we are a little bogged down in politics

[HelloDiDi]

I absolutely hate it when my existence is used as a political tool. Minority rights should not be a political chess piece. Especially about intersex and transgender people, anyone who needs medical fix to a physical problem which none of us chooses. I have a medical issue, not a political one, so why in hell is my condition made into something like that? These insane surgery requirements stop even more cis people from getting care so we're not even the main emphasis of this destruction of welfare state, but that's part of the goal to our govt nazi fucks... A wanted side effect.

I'm an anarchist so fuck off all big goverment anyway! I rather would not ever talk anything that has to do with politics because it always goes sour, but this one unfrtunately is a political decision which has dire consequences to me personally.

If only my condition would be dealt as a medical problem and not a social one, because this is a medical condition I have. I firmly believe that transsexual brain wiring is a neurodivergence of some type, most likely in my case "female brain wiring" and it is already known that we seem to have a sort of mind/body disconnect in our brain anyway, the body ownership works differently than for cis gender people. And add in intersex conditions and what do you get? A medical issue based on BIOLOGY, the very thing the right wing health fascists somehow claim invalidates our existence or something... Or was it the "social construct" fallacy that does? lol.

The glaring difference between the attitudes of public and private healthcare is like night and day. Private treats me as a woman, with utmost professionalism and respect. My surgeon is putting in extra work to help me which I'm not paying him for, he keeps finding solutions on how to deal with stuff and communicates everything down to tiniest detail, leaving nothing unclear. All while public healthcare tells me that I do not qualify, I can't, I wont, I souldn't. And they're also blackmailing me to take much worse HRT instead of what works like magic. Just because of decades old HRT protocol which isn't even based on latest WPATH which also would suck, but a bit less at least.

[HelloDiDi]

Moving today. Do I look good enough to play furniture tetris? I'm meeting two people I haven't met before today, that's the excuse. First time doing eyeliner btw. The liquid kind. Not bad for first try I think.

[Ninja]

Lookin good girl, actually too good to be moving furniture --great job on your eye makeup shows off those beautiful green eyes

[HelloDiDi]

Bit of an update as the dust has settled a bit with moving. Which isn't even all done yet. Tomorrow we're going to pack hopefully most of the stuff that is still left and start cleaning our old place. Thankfully we're not in a rush to go as there aren't new tenants coming in right away. Its crazy, being less than a week in our new home, the old place stinks like mold up to high heavens! Its crazy, I didn't even notice it being so bad while we lived there and its not our stuff because nothing in our new place stinks like that. Kidan damp, nasty smell which I know so well from some other houses which were falling apart.

I went for my second and likely last professional laser session today. My laser tech/plastic surgeon lady over there is really nice, we talked about trans healthcare and SRS surgery stuff, she's really interested about the subject as its a professional interest and something she's not in know about yet. And we talked about booking me for some cosmetic enhancements, which might with luck be coming later this year. I so much want it, feels like "FFS lite" sort of thing.

I've had my mental health take a huge hit lately though. The complete betrayal of our healthcare system is really hurting me a lot. I feel that now I'm completely on my own. I will still play along for a bit, I'll try to get the prescriptions for the HRT stuff I should get and I will get the SRS referral letters and obviously the vocal chord surgery which should work out as it doesn't seem to have some crazy BMI requirement on it. I'll try to get these but I wont expect a damn thing. Once I'm done with these things, they can totally fuck off for all I care. I feel betrayed and tossed aside, my rights trampled by politically made decisions which have zero to do with healthcare and all to do with making lives difficult by cutting funding with excuses. And its also transphobic because a lot of transpeople will not fit their one size fits all thinking with BMI which is outdated method anyway.

But this betrayal has a silver lining. I'm free now, on my own, but I'm free. I can arrange what ever I want to once there's money for it. I might need to wait SRS longer as its so expensive but this means I can pick who does it, with what technique, where and so on. I wont get a run-off-the-mill Finnish pussy job, I can go straight to the world class perfection as its only about money that decides it. I don't have my hands tied by unrealistic BMI requirements. I can be as big as I want! Now I can pursue becoming super curvy from my hearts content. Private healthcare wont deny me for BMI requirements as I'm healthy and so on. I can now go all in with NBE too and not worry about possible weight gain too much.

I have decided to keep my Pioglitazone experiment going. Its proving amazing along with topical PPAR-y activation. I'm surprised how the Vitex & EPO combo appears to be helping so I ordered four month supply. The DMSO + olive oil for absorbing topicals is amazing, there's zero reason to not keep this experiment going on as it is. If it works, don't break it. I'm more than a month without prog now, unfortunate but I can't get more at the moment. Positive thing is, there's no breast volume loss, quite the opposite as I'm growing more even without prog other than the cream which isn't much. I'm quite sure I would have had even more growth with it, but this works just fine. Besides, I seem to be developing a lot of projection again which is perfect, more proejction means more space for fat graft which will likely be quite mind blowing one as now there's so much more to work with. It'll be outer and upper fullness for shape and then maximum volume possible, there's more surface area compared to last time, so more space to make it work and I'll tell my surgeon to go all in with it. He said we will use mostly lower belly fat which is frigging cool as that's where I gain so much and so easy. Guess what happens to the transferred fat if I gain weight? Now that there's no boundaries on how far I can take this, I sure will. Noting's gonna hold me back now from compensating for this setback with SRS.

I'm not far from 35 month mark, I think it'll be bra shopping time soon too... I'll update latest by that time. I will be soon out of town and mostly offline, once moving is complete, I so so badly need some time to rest and unwind from everything.

[Ninja]

A pretty girl should not be moving furniture, you should have big strong guy doing that. Yep any weight gain I'll go right to your boobs liposuction will do the same thing --bigger boobs. smaller waist  

[HelloDiDi]

Awww I wish I had someone. We had help for the first days and it was still rough. I even had to move a washing machine around and that was heavy. I'm not the same as before, I'm sure I've lost 30-40% of my strength. I can still move stuff but I get tired much faster and some things I can't do any more. Btw this is something that I find extremely annoying, that people form my old life still expect me to be as strong as I used to be, they still expect me to "be the man" with stuff which is way out of my league... They don't get it, I can't do as much, its physically impossible and I don't even want to. Lot of things I don't want to do because they're traditionally associated to be mens territory, like changing car tires, holy shit how I've always hated that. And I have plenty of traditionally male interests, that's not it, but the way some things are associated with men doing them, I want to avoid that when people are around. It feels wrong, being pushed to the old role somehow.

The BMI thing with healthcare is so ridiculous. I wish could get a body composition measured to see where my weight comes from. I'm always about 30lbs heavier than I look like and people never guess my weight correctly. Its been like that since I was around twelve, thirteen years old and it only became more obvious with age. I'm naturally heavy built and even at my slimmest my BMI is always around thirty or a tiny bit below, but never even close to say 25. And when ever I have more muscle from exercise or that I'm chubby, it always easily jumps way higher. Right now I'm at heaviest I've ever been in my life and interestingly, it doesn't seem to have effect on how moving and doing stuff feels like so I presume I'm still quite fit because otherwise I would be exhausted way easier? I'm living much healthier these days, drink very little, I've quit smoking almost two years ago, my eating is cleaner and timed quite nicely especially now because I do a fast every day.

So crazy when public healthcare says "we're very strict with BMI" and then private plastic surgeon says "Don't stress about it, your BMI isn't an issue." It would be insanity for me to slim away all curves for that, I would give away all effort and all success I've had so far and surgery results too. I'm not foolish enough to do that because I being so curvy is what makes me so cis passable that I stealth in public, its helping tremendously alleviating dysphoria, its making clothes fit amazingly and I think its making me pretty too. Its the most feminine feature that I have especially now that my hips keep becoming fuller to the point that its starting to overtake my shoulder width. I believe also to accentuating feminine features rather than trying to minimise masculine/androgynous ones, especially when its something that feels easy and to me building curves seems like a walk in a park. I don't want to throw all that away, I rather wait longer and arrange funding somehow and then get a really amazing SRS abroad... In the meantime, keep working on everything else and compensate with I dunno, extra inch on hips and extra cup size on chest.