[HelloDiDi]

Am so very sorry to hear the GF left didi, I think we all know how devestating the end of a relationship can be. Concentrating on yourself is a way of breaching the dilemma but not quite. So sorry. To be honest DiDi I do think a bi genetic female would be more appropriate,somebody who would not feel threatend or overwhelmed by your transition. I'm not qualified or educated in this area but just a feeling I have. I may be very wrong. Not the best person to give relationship advice as have ended my hopes of ever finding the one but it's just something I feel from you.

Yea... Its sad as heck. We're still talking with her though, it seems she's having big time regrets. So am I, why wouldn't I, I can't switch off my feelings for her... Nor do I want to as she's nothing short of amazing. I can't be mad at her as it always takes two to tango... I'm glad she hasn't just ghosted me and disappeared and that we've been talking things through now that the first shock has settled. She wants us back, I want her back, but there's the big issue of broken trust and broken heart. But well, I guess such is life and love some times truly hurts.

And relationships are a pain in the ass to deal with, seemingly simple things are so complicated. I just feel very sad and hurt as I don't think I deserved a broken heart after doing everything as well as I could. I've been broken few times too many, but there's always super glue and bandages. <3

[catbeginner]

So DiDi,

Not too far back you were nearing a very dark place.  Those feelings involve a multitude of inner thoughts, emotions and life stresses.  But you came back to the light.  And do you sound more up beat now!  The "E" has gotten into your being. From a physical growth to a more positive outlook.  In particular the pain of a relationship loss and the self reflective reasoning to get at peace.  Keep working on it.  It may happen.  If it was worth the initial effort, then a little more work may get things back on track.  Look, you are in new waters here, take your time and be patience with the new person.  She has a lot to work through as well.

Now, as to your remarkable physical changes.  WOW, how far can you go!  Even in the photos you recently posted, I can see the softness and curves now in your physical appearance.  It is still shocking to me that your body has accepted the estrogen and now is thriving on it.  You look marvelous.  Your attitude seems in sync with your development.  Kudos and continued success.

Cat

[HelloDiDi]

So DiDi,

Not too far back you were nearing a very dark place.  Those feelings involve a multitude of inner thoughts, emotions and life stresses.  But you came back to the light.  And do you sound more up beat now!  The "E" has gotten into your being. From a physical growth to a more positive outlook.  In particular the pain of a relationship loss and the self reflective reasoning to get at peace.  Keep working on it.  It may happen.  If it was worth the initial effort, then a little more work may get things back on track.  Look, you are in new waters here, take your time and be patience with the new person.  She has a lot to work through as well.

Now, as to your remarkable physical changes.  WOW, how far can you go!  Even in the photos you recently posted, I can see the softness and curves now in your physical appearance.  It is still shocking to me that your body has accepted the estrogen and now is thriving on it.  You look marvelous.  Your attitude seems in sync with your development.  Kudos and continued success.

Cat

Its been heck of a ride lately... ^_^ I think switching on injections has been my magic bullet, specially on my moods. There's still occasional swings but its nowhere near as bad as when I was on pills. I'm 100% convinced that my body has been craving for estrogen dominance for a long time... Otherwise it wouldn't make sense on how much better I feel. Its weird, to actually realize that this might be what "normal" feels like.

The relationship stuff has been a big mess lately, although I think its becoming better already. There's jut pieces of a little girls heart all over the floor here which need to be picked up and put back together. Time heals everything.

How far? I wish further than what I'm dreaming of today. I have a crazy goal of more accentuated hourglass shape which seems to be the direction things are going, and few more cup sizes on my boobies... Oh and I hope my facial features would soften and round out some more. So far, so good.

Thanks, such a cheer to read posts like this. <3

[HelloDiDi]

Day 100

Got my sixth injection today. Second time on 0,16ml/6,4mg dose. It feels like this dose might well be quite perfect for me, at least gauging from my mental state it seems to be just right. Its now obvious that for getting labs, I need to pocket it and go on a private doctor. That will cost me quite a lot, but I think its worth doing. I'm not in a hurry with it, but would be timely to get it done soon.

Today I measured very nice numbers again. My bust to waist to hips ratio has never looked this good before. Its early to say but the current trend looks like the Caynne & Ginseng tincture might well be doing what it's supposed to. I will keep on measuring and likely give some more in depth insight to this in about a month.

It just occurred to me that I haven't posted any selfie here for quite some time. I think I want to show what's going on with my face. I think my facial features have been softening quite a bit. The picture is somewhat artistic, but nothing like what faceapp or something like that would do. Its just a random snap from month ago.

[Happyme]

Day 100

Got my sixth injection today. Second time on 0,16ml/6,4mg dose. It feels like this dose might well be quite perfect for me, at least gauging from my mental state it seems to be just right. Its now obvious that for getting labs, I need to pocket it and go on a private doctor. That will cost me quite a lot, but I think its worth doing. I'm not in a hurry with it, but would be timely to get it done soon.

Today I measured very nice numbers again. My bust to waist to hips ratio has never looked this good before. Its early to say but the current trend looks like the Caynne & Ginseng tincture might well be doing what it's supposed to. I will keep on measuring and likely give some more in depth insight to this in about a month.

It just occurred to me that I haven't posted any selfie here for quite some time. I think I want to show what's going on with my face. I think my facial features have been softening quite a bit. The picture is somewhat artistic, but nothing like what faceapp or something like that would do. Its just a random snap from month ago.

 
Its good that your on the other side of the ocean, for I would be camping out at your doorstep just to peek at you each day!
Beautiful
Bobbi

[HelloDiDi]

Awww, Bobbi, you're too nice to me. <3 Or just having a crush?  

Day 101

I can't yet say for sure, but the caynne & ginseng & lemon tincture might be doing what its supposed to. There is a trend starting to show up, I have measured slimmer waist than a while ago. But as I'm only ten days in, this is well within fluctuation and margin of error. I'll keep on recording the progress. Last two days my bust / waist / hips ratios have been the best so far... There might be something to this.

Considering my mental state, I think my injection dose is likely close to optimal by the way. I'm feeling fine, last two shots have been 0,16ml/6,4mg which is 0,02ml more than before and it feels like this is better at least my mood is. Depending on when I can afford something, I'm planning to book my first labs within the next few months. I decided to give maca another go. Its an adaptogen, they say its butt food and highly nutritious. I just remembered I have a full bag of the stuff, I might as well give it a go and use it up. I've taken maca consistently at one time when I was on herbs and it at least did not have any kind of negative effect... So yea, I presume that bag will last me for at least a month.

Seeing the measuring tape telling a story about my waist, today it became obvious that things have indeed changed. I wore my corset first time for quite a while and it was effortless to snap it on. I used to have to squeeze my belly in and really push it to even put in on while it was completely loosened... Now it snaps in place without any effort, it hasn't grown sizes, but my mid section has obviously got slimmer.

[Happyme]

Awww, Bobbi, you're too nice to me. <3 Or just having a crush?  

Day 101

I can't yet say for sure, but the caynne & ginseng & lemon tincture might be doing what its supposed to. There is a trend starting to show up, I have measured slimmer waist than a while ago. But as I'm only ten days in, this is well within fluctuation and margin of error. I'll keep on recording the progress. Last two days my bust / waist / hips ratios have been the best so far... There might be something to this.

Considering my mental state, I think my injection dose is likely close to optimal by the way. I'm feeling fine, last two shots have been 0,16ml/6,4mg which is 0,02ml more than before and it feels like this is better at least my mood is. Depending on when I can afford something, I'm planning to book my first labs within the next few months. I decided to give maca another go. Its an adaptogen, they say its butt food and highly nutritious. I just remembered I have a full bag of the stuff, I might as well give it a go and use it up. I've taken maca consistently at one time when I was on herbs and it at least did not have any kind of negative effect... So yea, I presume that bag will last me for at least a month.

Seeing the measuring tape telling a story about my waist, today it became obvious that things have indeed changed. I wore my corset first time for quite a while and it was effortless to snap it on. I used to have to squeeze my belly in and really push it to even put in on while it was completely loosened... Now it snaps in place without any effort, it hasn't grown sizes, but my mid section has obviously got slimmer.

I just admire all you have been through and all your doing! And you just amaze me!
Huggs
Bobbi

[Connie]

Thank you DiDi- I found it and that wonderful picture of your breasts uncovered. Just beautiful dear. My question relates very much to my experience. I was a boy with 36 C breasts most of my life. I had a hard time hiding them in male mode. But you are much bigger. so I wondered when you decided to transition over full time. Did you perhaps cross dress, as I did, for a time?

[HelloDiDi]

Thank you DiDi- I found it and that wonderful picture of your breasts uncovered. Just beautiful dear. My question relates very much to my experience. I was a boy with 36 C breasts most of my life. I had a hard time hiding them in male mode. But you are much bigger. so I wondered when you decided to transition over full time. Did you perhaps cross dress, as I did, for a time?

Oh wow Connie, you're really lucky. :O I guess its a bit of a questionable blessing, getting breasts by luck when presenting male... :/ I didn't have such "luck". All the more happy about starting pretty much flat and ending up so far...

You know what's really interesting, before I started doing my social transition full time, almost no one noticed anything. I was at about D cups back then. I'm guessing its partly due to my breast shape being shallow, they look smaller than what they are as there's not that much projection. And the other part is peoples perception. As long as they thought they're seeing a guy, they were. Some people have noted after I outed myself that they had indeed noticed how much more feminine my body had become. But none of them said it out loud to me, likely from being polite. (And being Finns.)

I did cross dress for quite some time, actually I see it as more of a testing the waters, trying my limits and how does it feel to present more female and I loved it to bits. For about two years before I outed myself and started doing this 24/7, I some times cross dressed, quite often in public too. It was mostly a good experience for learning how right it all felt, but of course I got stared at like crazy, really judgemental staring... And some kids apparently had noted me being the "boob dude". xD I was quite crazy with it now looking back, I was out there fem presenting at yet totally non passing for a lot of times and I just did it... These days its very different, I think my looks pass about 90% of the time without anybody paying much attention. The long nasty stares are almost gone. Today I had one while doing shopping. I think something about me still clocks me, no idea if its my looks or my demeanor and I try not to care much about it. Its been going great with this. My body is so female these days I can't look like much of a guy any more no matter what I wear. I think my beard shadow is the biggest issue.

Anyways, I think my breasts have only became in-your-face obvious after I started social transition... But I can't know what people saw, Finns tend to keep to themselves a lot, they don't speak out to strangers on this kind of stuff much. But the stares are telling.

[HelloDiDi]

Day 104

Something's up! I have been measuring new records again, this is second or third day in a row and things are obviously going forward. The nipple discharge stopped few days back. Soreness is gone, but I have the deep itch deep below my nipples again and speaking of nipples, they are getting much bigger and they are extremely sensitive. Some times so much that a gentle touch hurts. 

My bust / waist / hips ratios are the best they've ever been so far, exact same measurements for two days in a row. This is very promising development, but I can't tell if its HRT or the caynne & ginseng tincture doing it. My suspicion is the combination of everything, but it seems my body ratios have taken a very positive turn since I started the tincture. I started taking Maca again as I have a full bag lying about, can't do anything bad at least and its healthy stuff. Feels like my energy levels are better now.

On the conservative way of measuring, things look like this now:
Bust: 49,5" / 127cm
Waist: 92cm
Hips: 122cm
Bra size, accurate method: 36,9" : 12,5" = 2,95, roughly 85H / 80I
Bra size by volume: 1640 roughly 85 G / 80 H

Note about bra sizes, these are just using the numbers, in reality the width of the cups is correct, but depth is often a bit too much. There's no empty space in my 85(38) H cup push ups, but I need to use padding to straighten the cups. When I bought it, that padding made up for missing boobage, not any more.

My mental state seems to be getting more stable as time goes by, its easier to get on a good mood and shrug off nasty thoughts. Not like I would be super happy all the time, but its getting better. Tomorrow is the low E day before the injection day. Last time I felt quite down on the day 4, will see how it is this time. Injections are magic, I can't say enough good things about it and I feel like my dosage is correct.

Another change I noted is that my T is probably completely nuked. My genitals do function quite ok, but all I cum is clear liquid. The combination of injections and Androcur is obviously doing its thing. I may start soon to wind down the Androcur dosage and see how it goes. I was saying no picture updates until the end of the month, but I snapped a picture regardless. No swelling from noogle this time so its an "honest" picture. I'm starting to develop a little hang while sitting down which is absolutely lovely. Projection is still slowly getting better and my nipple growth has taken me by a pleasant surprise.