[JustAbbey]

Now this is nice. The size is close to perfect, one size smalle would probably be even better. But hey, got some space for more curves. " alt="" title=""> Oh and another snap I took... Hmm, I really look way more fem these days. I like it.

<3 <3 <3

Glad to see you are doing well DiDi! You look fabolous!  " alt="" title="">

I'm going to look into how to get the wheels rolling about getting on
hrt. No idea how difficult it may be, but I have to find out. I can't
keep my body as a test lab forever.

Well, you gave NBE a big opportunity and it has paid you well with those lovely curves and boobs, i think it has helped you "taste" what a more "femenine-like" hormone level would be like. If it has given you confidence and has opened your eyes about your future, then go for it! I'm sure with medical HRT you will finally feel perfect and safe! It's a big decision, but at this point i guess is the best one for you. The changes would be wonderful with E2 (both physically and mentally).  " alt="" title="">

Sends big hugs

Some times I'm doing well, some times I'm not... Today is one of those shitty days when everything about me just feels horrible if I pay attention to anything. Its one of the sides of me that pm seems to completely cut off, the constant self doubt, comparing, overthinking the tiniest details to a point where everything just feels like shit and I want to go away, get the heck out from this madhouse of a planet. These 'off' weeks are just pain in the ass. I'm irritable and annoyed about everything. Its one of these days when all my efforts feel like nothing... I don't want to even go near a mirror.

Its still months away that I may take the hrt route, there's enough things to worry about right now and I want to end my job contract first, have some real time for myself and there's a lot I have to do somehow. So months of NBE still ahead.

I shouldn't be even posting right now, I try not to put all my bad days here. I wish I had some friend here to cry against... Ranting about stuff to my gf isn't really nice to her either and she knows too well how I am when things go sour. I guess its better to just try to forget about it, make some coffee and wish tomorrow to be better.

We’ve all been there, and I’m at least happy to read and commiserate. It’s a shit time of year generally, and I think the universe has an extra shitty vibe its radiating to everyone ?

It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway - feelings are just feelings. They’ll change. Try to be kind to yourself. It’ll improve and you’ll be farther along on your journey.

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about change, and how overwhelming it can be. I think in the same way we need physical breaks from PM, we also need mental breaks from processing all these changes. Sometimes the newness is addictive, but that doesn’t always mean its mentally healthy just because it feels good. I personally have noticed this with clothes - wearing different things is super exciting, but also a bit exhausting. It’s been nice for a few days to just go back to wearing normal ‘guy’ clothes that i don’t have to think about. I’ve also had to tell myself it also doesn’t mean anything about my journey, or that I’m somehow having second thoughts. Just taking a bit of a mental vacation from all these new inputs, and giving my self a chance to settle and catch up.

Hang in there,