[myboobs]

You express a fascinating revelation.  The voice on your shoulder is not the true and pure expression of you.  The lowly voice that promotes a false way of thinking is an energetic attachment which masquerades as your own thinking, and intrudes as if it were.  It is an energetic phenomenon which grows stronger with regular feeding, but weaker through the discipline of not indulging in the thoughts it promotes.  The true beauty of you will express as the unique fulfillment of what your spirit is, the more that your energies are reserved for the feeding of your true spirit.  That is the wisdom I hear from what you have written.  Thank you.

Well said. 

Stay strong - jealousy, anxiety and depression all pass. And be gentle with yourself too - these feelings suck, but don’t reflect at all on you or life you’re choosing to live.

Kind words. <3 Thanks.

It jut crazy how emotional ups and downs can come and go like crazy, from sky high to rock bottom in a heartbeat. And good morning, I'm barely awake, I slept only few hours and feel generally like shit. I'll be a zombie all day if the old signs hold. At least my boobies are all flared up and puffy as heck. Pictures will wait, I'm not on the mood for that right now.

Diometres hit the nail in the head there. Gentle with myself... I wish I knew how to, I'm awful with my personal demands and expectations, I forgive nothing and never forget failure or humiliation. Its ironic, I can forgive others even such big mistakes which should never be forgiven, yet I whip myself forever for the tiniest of things. Its not healthy at all. And bitterness truly sucks, its like acid on the heart.

This shit wont last forever, it'll pass like it always does until it comes back again. I'm glad I have some place where to talk about it. <3

You need to believe in yourself. Often low esteem bring out these feelings and behaviours .meditate 
to calm your mind and you will see more clarity. Stay strong and don’t let negativity overrule overtake.