[kylec]

Tomi

What a surprise to those who may not want to "... completely change their body".  They soon find out that the changes can be pretty fast and complete.  As the song says, "You can't always get what you want"!  Sometimes you get  much more! More than you even knew you wanted.

I have always said that one should find something that works and stick to it. Even if it works too well!  It may be part of the 'master plan', who knows? After all, something brought us here...

I too am all in.

I find it hard to believe that some guys are not prepared for whatever changes happen.

Kylec

[CM213]

Very interesting. I look forward to seeing peoples updates on using and stoping bo and how long it takes their body to return to "normal" or if they only have a new normal now after using Bo. 

I have been considering using Bo for awhile now. I'm on the fence. Half wants to go all in, half wants to get back on steroids and repress this feminine urge inside of me by puting on as much muscle and size as I can. 

Needless to say I obviously have some body image issues and some mental issues that I need to over come and sort out. 

Like anything new there is always fear and hesitation. Change is not always something people can handle well especially if it's quick. Forces people to cross bridges and have those tough reflections, and conversations with their spouses and themselves that they would have had otherwise just put off. 

Very interesting indeed. Please keep updating as you feel the need. I am grateful for everyone that has shared their experiences and knowledge.

[Kay Lady]

Dear CM213,
I cannot comment on BO, but I fought the battle for many decades of male muscle vs. femininity. And femininity won. The feelings would never go away. No matter how many muscle supplements and weights I moved. I guess that is who I am. I have read many other stories of the inner woman winning.
~Kay

[Karen Hart]

CM,

Many years ago, around 1980, I was deep in ambivalence between being a muscle man and a sexy woman.
That was when Rachel McLish won Miss Olympia. Remember Bev Fancis, OMG, massive. It made me think... why not be a muscular woman? 
What a great compromise. I never achieved that goal exactly but it was a way to move forward. I could at least, continue to work out.

I did not know anything about NBE at the time. Cross dressing was my only path to femininity. 
I had a CD friend, who had a CD friend, who was a bodybuilder. I asked my friend how he handled this situation.
He said that guy just kept working out and getting bigger... and just bought bigger clothes! That did not sound ideal to me but it seemed my only option.

I got obsessed and messed it up by going too big. I increased my chest size from 37" to 44". I should not have done any rib cage expansion exercises.
37" would have been a real decent band size for a bra, 44" is not. I was not thinking ahead and just wanted to pack on muscle.
I was also using only anabolic supplements. 

If I were starting over today, I would do the NBE, combined with natural workouts. I think things would work out much better.
I know that you are already big. My best advice would be to quit all T and other anabolics, and start your NBE.
I would advise against BO, since you are still "on the fence" and use either PM or FG, which are easier to control.

Maybe you should consider CrossFit style workouts? You can tell any curious friends that you have decided to work out for health rather than size & strength. 
When they see you lose size, it will make sense to them.

Karen 

[CM213]

Dear CM213,
I cannot comment on BO, but I fought the battle for many decades of male muscle vs. femininity. And femininity won. The feelings would never go away. No matter how many muscle supplements and weights I moved. I guess that is who I am. I have read many other stories of the inner woman winning.
~Kay

I believe you are right. That is what I am experiencing and have experienced that the female inside refuses to be kept quiet lol. More and more everyday at the gym I see these athletic women doing their morning workouts and more and more I wish I were them. I've been bodybuilding for 24 years and I feel I am stuck so to speak as to what I can do and who I have become, since I have built my body in a way that no feminine clothing fits what so ever or looks right, which causes even more sadness/depression to say the least.

Thank you for your input and advice and experiences. I don't want to take the spot light away from the topic of this thread.

[CM213]

CM,

Many years ago, around 1980, I was deep in ambivalence between being a muscle man and a sexy woman.
That was when Rachel McLish won Miss Olympia. Remember Bev Fancis, OMG, massive. It made me think... why not be a muscular woman? 
What a great compromise. I never achieved that goal exactly but it was a way to move forward. I could at least, continue to work out.

I did not know anything about NBE at the time. Cross dressing was my only path to femininity. 
I had a CD friend, who had a CD friend, who was a bodybuilder. I asked my friend how he handled this situation.
He said that guy just kept working out and getting bigger... and just bought bigger clothes! That did not sound ideal to me but it seemed my only option.

I got obsessed and messed it up by going too big. I increased my chest size from 37" to 44". I should not have done any rib cage expansion exercises.
37" would have been a real decent band size for a bra, 44" is not. I was not thinking ahead and just wanted to pack on muscle.
I was also using only anabolic supplements. 

If I were starting over today, I would do the NBE, combined with natural workouts. I think things would work out much better.
I know that you are already big. My best advice would be to quit all T and other anabolics, and start your NBE.
I would advise against BO, since you are still "on the fence" and use either PM or FG, which are easier to control.

Maybe you should consider CrossFit style workouts? You can tell any curious friends that you have decided to work out for health rather than size & strength. 
When they see you lose size, it will make sense to them.

Karen 

All those classic bodybuilders brings back memories. Not that I am old enough to have seen them in their prime, they were the ones that inspired me into fitness and bodybuilding. Frank Zane, bev, Lee priest, Lee Haney, obviously Arnold and his crew all were my inspiration. Then came along the mass monster era of Dorian Yates and Ronnie Coleman which still has its affects even today. I got sucked into that needed and wanting to become as massive as I could and my body would allow. Which had been an adventure and has its ups and downs and I definitely don't regret what I have accomplished with my male body. 

Like I said previously I find myself becoming more envious of the fit women in the gym and even my wife. Wishing I were them without changing anything else in my life. But I seem to faced with being who I am known as. Being the man everyone knows me for, or trying to explore this other side of me. I can't have both. I can't balance both. I go towards one , I take steps away from the other. I explore my feminine side I take steps away from my wife and marriage since I know how she feels for the most part about this side of me and everything that could happen if I were to transition. It is about me and my life but it also is about her and her life my choice and actions can have some serious consequences for her. 

Anyways I'm just stuck feeling saddened and depressed wanting to be like my wife and these women, and feeling like I have to choose my male side since I will cause many negative things to happen not just for myself but for my family depending on how far I need to transition (if I ever do). 

Again I don't want to take this thread away from you. since the summer is coming and it's already hot here in az I figure I will.wait ill the end of summer or beginning of fall to do or start anything. I may even get back on test, and a few other things to have potentially one last summer with the body I built for my male side of myself.  Who knows.

Please continue to share your experiences as they progress. It will certainly help me decide what I will use in the future come fall.

[kylec]

Thinking even more on the subject
of 'no return', why would anyone want to return? ...and to what, exactly?!
  Embrace change... when we stop changing, we stop living. Go big or Go home!

And 'boy, oh boy' Mrs. Mesmer my high school Chemistry teacher was correct when she said, 
 "Pay attention!  You use chemistry every day, you just don't know that now! " Who knew???

Kylec
~