[Lenneth]

the part that utterly baffled me is they seemed to think I was buying them for myself when they were a size 5 shoe and I wear a 10...

Maybe if the staff wasn't so focused on forming a hasty and baseless assumption about you they might have noticed this.

very true, thing to is it was the shoe dept, not lingerie, I had actually bought stuff form the lingerie dept for myself in before with no problems, not even a odd look or blink.

ah-well, haven't been back since and never plan to go back, ended up finding that same pair of shoes online later on anyway for a bit under half the price inc next day shipping so my friend still got her gift.

[SarahSchilling]

I've never had any trouble buying makeup or lingerie. A couple of times I got some weird looks when I had gotten lazy with shaving, but I just looked at them weird right back.

Maybe it's just the region I live in, though. People tend to mind their own business in the South. If I dressed in public, I'm sure it'd be a different matter altogether.

Anyways, most makeup sections have stuff that males could actually use, like tweezers or hairties. Well stuff I would use! lol

As for the lingerie section....it could be for a girlfriend for all they know. I'm sorry that anyone has to deal with discrimination for shopping...because there isn't a good reason for it. I just don't understand how some people live with themselves.

[julieTG]

You would think with the Internet killing the shopping malls they would be grateful for any

"in store pound/dollar"

Julie

[adeleuk]

Yeah Julie the stores should be happy we want to spend money with them, I have been and purchased high heels in male mode and even tried them on with no problems, if anyone asks why I am buying girl clothes shoes etc I just say 'I am a drag queen and need 'em for the act'.
To be honest I usually look online see what I want to buy from the store then just waltz in and get it, some stores here in the UK have self service check outs which also cuts out the strange looks.

[Wishful]

You know, adding a little comment when you finish talking to Shopko management can have a real good effect afterwards, like " Now watch your business walk out the door on their way to Walmart where I am treated with respect...". then turn around and walk out. That comment will continue to rip that manager many hours after you leave.

[sfem]

Everything you ever wanted to read on this topic, and then 6 extra chapters, just might be in the following study. I freely admit I haven't read the whole thing, but perhaps different parts appeal to different folks, so I am mentioning it here. Please note that my mentioning it does not endorse any particular portions of it, or perspectives in it.

Engendered Penalties:
Transgender and Transsexual
People’s Experiences of
Inequality and Discrimination

available free online at

http://www.pfc.org.uk/pdf/EngenderedPenalties.pdf

[AnnieBL]

Lenneth,

You have always seemed to be a very nice person who can be quite feisty in support of what you believe: but you have unluckily fallen foul of an all too common type of bully, who cannot resist trying to put down anyone whom they perceive as fitting their prejudices or belonging to some category of people they despise. This type of victimisation is by no means unique to our own situation, but extends right across the board whenever such a bully perceives a potential victim, however unreasonably. Congratulations on the actions you took, but like you I doubt they will get you the action they should.

From an employer’s point of view, such people poison the work environment but present a real problem to deal with, since they are usually not readily reformed. It is most often difficult or impossible to gather the type of evidence that will support a dismissal for cause, and dismissal without cause becomes increasingly expensive the longer the person concerned has been employed , and may be effectively excluded by a collective agreement. The employer ought to bite the bullet and pay the penalty for a bad hire, but this rarely happens and requires an unusually ruthless HR person with full management support.

This thread also raises another interesting but somewhat OT issue - how does one complain about the conduct of a corporate employee gracefully but effectively? A few people seem able to achieve this somehow; most of us fail miserably, either by suffering in silence (my own weakness far too often), or by becoming too aggressive too quickly with the wrong people (my wife’s failing), although I have too admit that she has on occasion produced startling results, both good and bad. My own experience with dissatisfied clients or customers (including myself) is that most of the time they don’t complain. They just vote with their feet and like you will, go elsewhere next time.

[AnnieBL]

Sfem,

At first sight a truly fascinating document.

As an un-outed "tweenie, I am fortunate not to have encountered the types of discrimination that the study is primarily concerned with. Further, it seems based on a polar view of gender, as opposed to the spectrum view in which I have to believe.

On the other hand the discussion of British Civil Service resistance to change does resonate as we continue to be subject to annual discrimination in respect of my (and my wife's) partial British Old Age Pensions, just because we are British expatriates, living in Canada. An order-in-council is passed each year cancelling the annual indexing of old age pensions to expatriates in most Commonwealth countries, despite the fact that we made for many years the same contributions as everyone else, and make no claims on the NHS or other British government services. There is no such discrimination against residents of the European Community or the United States because those jurisdictions have sufficient clout that H.M. government wouldn't dare. So far as I know, this sort of discrimination is unique to the UK: it certainly would not happen in Canada in respect of our Canada Pension Plan entitlements were we to return to the UK. To add insult to injury, the dollar value of even my un-indexed British pension has declined by about a third as a result of exchange rate changes.

Sorry! Rant mode off!

[Lenneth]

Lenneth,

You have always seemed to be a very nice person who can be quite feisty in support of what you believe: but you have unluckily fallen foul of an all too common type of bully, who cannot resist trying to put down anyone whom they perceive as fitting their prejudices or belonging to some category of people they despise. This type of victimisation is by no means unique to our own situation, but extends right across the board whenever such a bully perceives a potential victim, however unreasonably. Congratulations on the actions you took, but like you I doubt they will get you the action they should.

thank you for the complement, I try to be nice to everyone although I admittedly do have a bad temper (think ICBM detonation scale) but thankfully also a very long fuse to help keep it tamed.

that said I have zero tolerance for useless people whom seem to think that their job in life is to do everything they can to make life miserable for everyone else...