[GoneGirl]

I'm with you, Cool. The female body and femininity are fascinating. A day doesn't go by without my having thoughts of possessing a woman's body - arms, legs, shoulders, breasts, face.....

Of course, it can never be. I can only dabble on the boundary between fantasy and reality. I feminize my body as much as I can in the real world and fill in the missing pieces with my imagination.

NBE has added to the reality side of my crossdreaming. Breasts are the essence of femininity, and even my modest beginnings have been transformative. The power of testosterone has been supplanted by the power of estrogen, and the combination of the resulting changes in mind and body have a surreal feel about them. I feel like some kind of psychic dislocation has occurred that has thrown off my sense of who I am, where I'm going. Usually the effect is pleasant, sometimes even euphoric, while at other times I feel disoriented and unsettled.

I think about getting off the NBE train before it gets to full speed. Is it better to deal with the devil I used to know, or the one I don't yet know? Maybe the devil I don't yet know is really an angel, a fairy god mother who will save me from my plight.

"Hope springs eternal in the human breast" never seemed a more appropriate phrase to describe where I find myself today.

CK

[AnnieBL]

ClaraKay,

You manage to express so well the things that many of us feel, or raise interesting issues. Please keep it up!

[Elisaustin]

I agree well put ClaraKay
That is a perfect way to put it and sum it up.
Last year for Xmas I ask for nylons and heels and got a hammer and saw.
So I built a doll house.
It is what you make it.

[Lotus]

I envy a time where I could've been able to take all this to the next level without any baggage.

That so hilarious E!, thanks for a good laugh!

[flamesabers]

I think about getting off the NBE train before it gets to full speed. Is it better to deal with the devil I used to know, or the one I don't yet know? Maybe the devil I don't yet know is really an angel, a fairy god mother who will save me from my plight.

Are presuming that full speed on the NBE train will lead to transitioning? Or are you referring to complete breast development?

As far as which devil is better to deal with, I think it depends on large part of how your gender identity is structured and your life's circumstances. If taking pm helps give you peace of mind and it doesn't incur significant external or internal problems, I say go for it and see how things play out. Who knows, pursuing NBE may help you to better understand your gender identity?

I agree well put ClaraKay
That is a perfect way to put it and sum it up.
Last year for Xmas I ask for nylons and heels and got a hammer and saw.
So I built a doll house.
It is what you make it.

Building a doll house sounds like a lot of work. Perhaps you should ask for some dolls this year Elisaustin!

[GoneGirl]

I think about getting off the NBE train before it gets to full speed. Is it better to deal with the devil I used to know, or the one I don't yet know? Maybe the devil I don't yet know is really an angel, a fairy god mother who will save me from my plight.

Are presuming that full speed on the NBE train will lead to transitioning? Or are you referring to complete breast development?

As far as which devil is better to deal with, I think it depends on large part of how your gender identity is structured and your life's circumstances. If taking pm helps give you peace of mind and it doesn't incur significant external or internal problems, I say go for it and see how things play out. Who knows, pursuing NBE may help you to better understand your gender identity?

Well, Flame, I'd say both. I should just click 'Post Reply' now and get back to my offline life, but I'm compelled to go on.

I don't think I'm transsexual, but I've heard tell that taking hormones (and herbs that have a similar effect) can be a slippery slope.

The way I look at it is NBE *is* transitioning in the sense that I am feminizing my body (and mind) to an extent that could disrupt my life in both positive as well as negative ways. The problem is not knowing a priori the long term consequences either way.

At this point, I'm going for it because the positives do outweigh what I see as the negatives, but if the scales should shift will I be able to adjust?

I would be quite happy with breast development up to point. I'm not sure how far I can or want to go, but I've told my wife (truthfully) that I won't ever be presenting as female in public (risky assertion?). That means being able to hide my breasts in public. She's already bought me a sports bra without me asking!

The devil I don't know is: Will I be able to stop growth at some point, go on a maintenance dose of PM, and still keep the mental benefits? IIRC, Flame, that you found it necessary to *increase* your PM dosage to maintain the "brain rewiring" you desire. That's fine as long as you don't mind continued breast development (assuming you've not yet reached full size). Otherwise, a difficult choice would have to be made.

Then too, I might also discover down the road that I *am* transsexual.

Yeah, it's scary when I think about it. It's like I'm driving into a thick fog -- a thick pink fog.

CK

[myboobs]

I think about getting off the NBE train before it gets to full speed. Is it better to deal with the devil I used to know, or the one I don't yet know? Maybe the devil I don't yet know is really an angel, a fairy god mother who will save me from my plight.

Are presuming that full speed on the NBE train will lead to transitioning? Or are you referring to complete breast development?

As far as which devil is better to deal with, I think it depends on large part of how your gender identity is structured and your life's circumstances. If taking pm helps give you peace of mind and it doesn't incur significant external or internal problems, I say go for it and see how things play out. Who knows, pursuing NBE may help you to better understand your gender identity?

Well, Flame, I'd say both. I should just click 'Post Reply' now and get back to my offline life, but I'm compelled to go on.

I don't think I'm transsexual, but I've heard tell that taking hormones (and herbs that have a similar effect) can be a slippery slope.

The way I look at it is NBE *is* transitioning in the sense that I am feminizing my body (and mind) to an extent that could disrupt my life in both positive as well as negative ways. The problem is not knowing a priori the long term consequences either way.

At this point, I'm going for it because the positives do outweigh what I see as the negatives, but if the scales should shift will I be able to adjust?

I would be quite happy with breast development up to point. I'm not sure how far I can or want to go, but I've told my wife (truthfully) that I won't ever be presenting as female in public (risky assertion?). That means being able to hide my breasts in public. She's already bought me a sports bra without me asking!

The devil I don't know is: Will I be able to stop growth at some point, go on a maintenance dose of PM, and still keep the mental benefits? IIRC, Flame, that you found it necessary to *increase* your PM dosage to maintain the "brain rewiring" you desire. That's fine as long as you don't mind continued breast development (assuming you've not yet reached full size). Otherwise, a difficult choice would have to be made.

Then too, I might also discover down the road that I *am* transsexual.

Yeah, it's scary when I think about it. It's like I'm driving into a thick fog -- a thick pink fog.

CK

Holy makerel !! I had to date never given thought of end consequences .
NO ! I have never thought of stage , where my thinking would change by my use of herbs . My target has always being feminise my body and have B cup boobs but not move over to the other side . But when does one know how far feminisation one goes to . Is one set into feminisation mode that one does not. Stop ! Who gives the reality check ? When do you say stop ? I must train my mind to think about that . I have to say this forum is making me think what when and how !!
I thank you all who bring these issues up so one can contemplate our situation while on this journey .
Love you all xx

[SarahSchilling]

Posting:
By posting, one inevitably paints a picture of oneself. I'm not at all certain that I like the picture I paint of myself. I tend to edit my posts until they lack spontanaity and get a bit too serious. I envy your light touch, Sarah.

Hehe, if it makes you feel any better I often edit and reedit my posts also. They only seem to get increasingly comedic in nature though, at least in my eyes....which is all that really matters when it comes to humor, am I right???

It doesn't matter if you think I am or not ;p

Another post of mine that has nothing to do with breast growth. Argh. What can I say?

They tingle sometimes.

[Samantha Rogers]

Heh heh Sarah, you make me laugh.

[flamesabers]

Clara,

It may be splitting hairs, but I do think NBE is at least a partial form of transitioning. I suppose if one considers NBE from a mental rather than a physical standpoint, arguably the one group of bio-males this may not apply to is the bio-males who are happy being males but just want their own breasts.

Yeah, it's possible at one point NBE may incur more negatives than positives for you. I think the most common reasons this occurs is when major discord is incurred with one's family/significant other, or the risk/reality of being "outed" is too problematic. However, I think the benefits of pursuing NBE, such as the mental ones may help to offset the negatives of taking NBE herbs.

Two explanations come to mind as to why your wife surprised you with a sports bra. It could be her way of showing her support (pun intended) for your NBE pursuit. Or maybe she's gauging how serious you are about achieving breast development?

Yes, I've found it necessary to increase my dosage to maintain my brain rewiring. About four months ago though, I discovered I was able to keep the brain rewiring even while decreasing my pm dosage by adding spearmint. Since then, I've been sticking with a daily pm dose of 2,000-2,500 mg. Hypothetically I suppose you could do the same if you wanted to keep the mental benefits but cut back your pm dosage to a maintenance level (whatever that might be for you). The one potential caveat about spearmint is it can really put a damper on one's libido.

No, I haven't reached full size. Next March will be my 2nd anniversary of using pm.

Sarah,

So you're quite the comedian then?