(21-08-2013, 02:35 PM)sfem Wrote:(18-08-2013, 07:42 PM)AbiDrew85 Wrote: I KNOW I'm a girl. That's the end. Just like you KNOW you're somewhere between. That's the end.
Since I find this to be a very interesting point, and one which is not likely ever to be resolved or decided, I would like to share my fairly fuzzy notion of the whole gender binary/transition concept.
I don't think of myself as inbetween. In any way. Perhaps at one time I did, perhaps I told myself it works that way.To me, inbetween say there are valid opposing genders. Physically that is true. But not mentally. Mentally there are simply variations. You might as well categorize people by colour preferences or favourite numbers or deities. All this shoehorning is useful for those seeking control of themselves or others, but not much otherwise.
My evolving view on this concept goes a bit like this. We are all conceived with both physical and mental characteristics which may well set limits or boundaries on how our minds and bodies can develop. As we develop in the womb, those characteristics gain some definition. I'm not sure whether I buy into the idea that anything can be learned while still in the womb, but I do believe that the development of the ability to grow, develop, and process input (both physical and mental) is affected by how we develop or do not develop in the womb. That process continues for pretty much the rest of our lives if we don't do something, or something is not done to us, to prevent or retard that process. We all begin with building blocks for what we call male and female physical attributes and mental processes. As for which become dominant in any person, that is probably set in a mostly biological framework. Of course our experiences in life can affect how we develop both mentally and physically, but I am not very convinced that the core "programming" can change very much. But I think the key thing here is not which end of the spectrum we gravitate towards, but the question of which behaviours and attributes become dominant. And perhaps more importantly, whether we take control of ourselves and try to enhance ourselves by developing the best of our total potential. For example, quite a few of us here have been down the path of developing our male physiques, and now are developing our female attributes instead. Likewise, some of us have intentionally tried to develop a stereotypical male mindset, and now are realizing that is a false goal. I don't believe that makes us girls or boys. I think that just means some of us are willing and able to explore ourselves in ways most people aren't and don't. As to behaviours being one gendered or the other, we have a lot more ability to change our boundaries and expand our limits with that aspect of ourselves. That alone says to me that those things are largely constructs we create, not predefined characteristics. How much anybody wants to pigeonhole themselves is up to them. I prefer not to have those limits. If you want to label me, I recommend the word male if you are talking physical, human if you want to talk brain. And if you read this far, you probably should try to find a hobby or something.
Don't forget to look for rainbows, and pet the unicorns.
(22-08-2013, 01:27 AM)smallfry Wrote: What's with all the hostility? Opinions are simply opinions in a hundred years its all illrelevant. Titles are simply titles so let anyone be called as they please, the subject is in the eye of the beholder.
(22-08-2013, 01:27 AM)smallfry Wrote: What's with all the hostility? Opinions are simply opinions in a hundred years its all illrelevant. Titles are simply titles so let anyone be called as they please, the subject is in the eye of the beholder.
(22-08-2013, 02:32 PM)Elisaustin Wrote: I was born a duck that really wanted to be a swan... I also realized that as much as I wanted to be a swan I would never be totally accepted as a swan.Amen! I desperately wanted (and still do) to be a swan but sadly, I never will be! Every cell in my body has a chromosome that marks me as a male, at least in the binary view of gender. I'm so happy though, that I too found PM, acceptance from my wife, camaraderie here and the strength to break free from social "norms" and pursue a little peace "somewhere in the middle". Breasts, long hair, feminine attire... it all helps me feel at peace with myself. Still, there is a line somewhere that I don't want to cross. Androgynous is good, "he's a dude in a dress" is absolutely not.
(22-08-2013, 02:32 PM)Elisaustin Wrote: So I am half duck and half swan and I am happy with that.
No matter what stage you are at we are all in the same pond.
(22-08-2013, 02:32 PM)Elisaustin Wrote: Most people that I meet can not figure out what gender I am.
Over the years only a few people were even bold enough to ask.
(22-08-2013, 02:32 PM)Elisaustin Wrote: Most people that I meet can not figure out what gender I am.
Over the years only a few people were even bold enough to ask.
Elisa
(23-08-2013, 01:54 PM)Elisaustin Wrote: You could be right Miss.
Most of the time I have found if I treat people I meet with kindness
and respect they tend to over look my little oddities.
With that said I have also found to keep the inner girl in check.
Meaning that if you let your female look and mannerisms get out of hand, you become more female than generic everyday females and this will cause you problems. Nobody dresses like June Cleaver anymore except me
when I get home after work lol.
As far as family and friends.
That's on a need to know basis.
Meaning I do not advertise the fact I am transgender. If they ask I will tell them the truth and then its kinda up to them at that point.
My parents are both gone now and they never knew nor did I ever feel the need to express it to them. I will say I am sure they both realized I was a little out of the norm lol.
My sister who is 7 years older knows and while at first she did not quite get it, now excepts it and we are now better friends than we ever were growing up.
I am basically still single and being transgender and dating is another story in its self and this is not the place.
I do not speak for the others here, we all have our own reasons,goals and circumstances to deal with. Going on PM and growing breasts has been a great experience and I plan continuing on it. I have no desire at this point to go the SRS route, I am where I want to be for now.
If there is a 3rd gender I am probably it. (half swan half duck)
I see no point in debating words the outside world has come up with to
label us and put us in a neat little slot.
Elisa