I will make this thread a kind of a blog.
Well, so, i will talk a little of my feelings.
The meds im taking is really streghtning my feelings, i feel the feelings stronger, principally fear and affection and hunger, usually i was the kind of person that hadnt feelings for anybody else, i mean, im a nice person and like to help others, but, this dont make me feel that i need somebody near me and this feeling was going to lead me to a biiiiig loneliness, i dont know its good or bad because, for sure everyone needs someone, but, its someone decision to stay with someone else, its likely the most we fight to make someone wants to stay with us more will appear obstacles on the fight, but, if someone just decide to stay with us, then we are blessed, but, its hard to see qualities that we want to see on someone who decided to stay with but isnt the one we choose, for sure blessed is the couple who both thinks that the other is the one we were looking for and we are the one who the other was looking for. At least with Jesus we feel this

So caring more and miss more someone presence will keep us more sociative, and when someone missing appears it will always be a party.
Sometimes, i think the meds are really making me a girl, its reaaaallyyy strange the feelings and thoughts. Its like, i look at my body and im male, i see my chest, my legs, my arms, my hands, i can hear my voice, but, sometimes all this doesnt appear to be truth, sometimes i feel so small and so girly that i even get afraid to talk and people would say "that guy talk like gal!" but what is this fear? Evil trying to shut my mouth? When i walk and there is people looking, i sense they are looking at me and then i feel like im going to shake (idk how to say this very well) like a girl, well i usually felt that almost all my life until these days, with the meds im starting to feel that im stoping to care for those thoughts.
I am that I am. Jeova once said.
So why should we care to much for who we are if we are who we are?
But its who we are that make our thoughts of what to do, so if we dont do what we want then we are going to not be who we are, finally its our duty to God to be who we are and do what we have to do, because we are His creation and as His creation He gave us thoughts to be done.
God loves the sinner thats why He is the God of Mercy.
Without sin there isnt learning, because we sin, but we repent then we learn that sin is bad.
1st i dreamed that Jesus said to me to eat cricket so i would turn into a woman. Then one day i found a cricket on my grandmas house and i eat that.
2nd i dreamed that Jesus gave me a big remedy to turn me into a woman, it was a remedy very great which got stuck in my throat but i managed to swallow. Later i dreamed that a friend said to me to eat saw palmetto and i was desiring that very much. One day i bought a Saw Palmetto capsule of 1000mg, it got struck on my throat and i thought i was going to die, but i swaloed that.
Today, before sleep i asked God "do i eat the mushroom of my garden?", because there apeared a lot of some big mushroom, then i dreamed that i was on a car with the women of my family and we sttoped somewhere on Thailand with a big tree of Kwao Krua (PM), those were little diferent, not like balls but like giant peppers in form, so a man hit the three and some fell of the tree i take tree and go back to the car and tasted one and that really seemed Kwao Krua, then i asked "do i eat this way?" and a aunt said that she will prepare for me. Well today when i woke i went to the garden and bite a mushroom if i dont feel bad, and if there is more tomorrow, then im going to eat one entire. Because i got some, but on the three are much more.
God charity and blessings for everyone.