[PerkyAcups]

in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts.  I started the thread to maybe get a little support, not to talk about guys being attracted to breasts and whatever else y'all rambling about.   I have my opinions on this topic.  But I will keep them to myself. or maybe start a new thread on it.

[Heaven's Night]

(...Lots of text...)


Sending hugs to Heaven's Night. I feel you.

This is exactly what I had in mind. I'm just often too tired to explain it all like to a five year old.

The notion that I should stop posting here (or elsewhere?) because putting my body on display means I will be objectified is misogynist and patriarchal as fuck. As in "women better hide or else, she's asking for it." You know, these things certain kinds of people absolutely love to throw around. 

Anyway, this is enough off topic, so lets stop it right here. This subject can be discussed elsewhere unless it gets super mega toxic.

Also, questioning my sex and gender identity is weird af, its completely unnecessary because everybody knows I'm a woman. Stop othering me, I'm not an other, not third sex, not some goddamn fucktoy. I'm an intersex transsexual woman. This is not up to a debate, not for questioning, not for any type of othering. Especially at this day and age when hating everything non cis is propaganted like the next awesome cool nazi hatecunt thing.

[nephele]

in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts.  I started the thread to maybe get a little support

I hope you can get communication flowing. It gets harder and harder for other people on the receiving end to process the info-bomb, the more stuff is bottled up before going off. I'm no saint in this, and have started working on it somewhat consciously during the last few years. I mean I've started sharing more and more about my inner stuff with my partner - I think we have always shared everything, but we don't tend to include closet-skeletons in "everything". Everyday, casual stuff like telling her more about what I like & so on, and she has also usually shared more about her stuff. Many things that I've just assumed about the other person, but found out that it's not all black and white, never is. And people sometimes can seem really strict or orthodox about stuff when they scoff one-liners about news or whatnot, but then having a conversation about the topic reveals they have pretty nuanced views on stuff and it just comes out really bluntly.

What I mean to say, my 2 eurocents, you don't have to set off a huge blast by blurting a confession out of thin air - the other person has probably no idea where it's coming from, and the info bomb itself (not the subject of it) might be the thing that starts upsetting them, secret-keeping, worry about the other person's well-being, worry about their motivations, fear of not knowing the other person after all etc. From your posts I remember reading that you've brought the subject up sometimes but since you still have some cold feet about it, makes me think there might be a large enough gap between what you two have talked about and what the reality of the matter is. These gaps are what separates us from other people, and have to be crossed from both sides, meaning you need to build knowledge about the other person, but also yourself. The gaps are made as much from self-doubt as doubts about the other person.

I'd think once you two are close enough bridging that gap, the "I grew these myself because (...)" should come out pretty naturally, almost without thinking.

[PerkyAcups]

Thanks Nephele, you are correct about the communication.  Neither of us are good at communicating.  There is more to story than just me growing breasts.  I have accumulated a lot of secrets over the year hiding an addiction.  I started seeing a therapist a few months ago and for the first time really started opening up to my wife about things.  Some of them were hard conversations, but I feel we are more connected and stronger now than we have been in a long time.  I am at the point I want her to know every little good and bad thing about me.  She knows and I in therapy and going to meetings. She knows I have a long list of secrets I need to share with her soon.  Secrets I am extremely embarrassed to say out loud.  I have told her a couple things on my list. She has been amazingly supportive about everything.  

I really feel based on her past responses she will continue to be supportive. The only thing on the list that stresses me out is the breasts.  She is fine with my breasts thinking I had no control over it. I am just worried what she will think we she knows I did it on purpose.  And worried what she thinks when I tell her I like them. And kind of want them bigger.

[Vana_B]

in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts. 

My guess is she probably already knows or at least suspects it.   The conversation with my wife started many years ago with her asking about the breast pumps and nipple pumps in the drawer.  I told her it was a sexual turn on I liked how they felt after.   Once she brought them up, I started wearing the noogle cups more often and and not trying to hiding it from her.   She is also aware that I take supplements, and is free to go through that drawer,  but has never asked details.   I have never explicitly told her I am trying to grow breasts. 

For me it has made it much easier not having to try and hide anything.    Good Luck with however you proceed!

[wee2er]

It's all about communication...

Sounds like you've been working on that and making progress, good luck xx

[MDot]

in the meantime, I am still trying to find the courage to tell my wife I purposely grew breasts.  I started the thread to maybe get a little support, not to talk about guys being attracted to breasts and whatever else y'all rambling about.   I have my opinions on this topic.  But I will keep them to myself. or maybe start a new thread on it.

PerkyAcups - I have really enjoyed reading your posts.  Thanks for sharing so much detail.  In regards to coming clean with your wife I would caution you to be careful, if you are not sure how your wife will react.  Nobody knows your wife as good as you do but once you come completely clean in regards to your breast growth there is no putting the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.  Woman are notorious for saying one thing but thinking another.  She may be supportive when you first tell her but change her mind once she has had a chance to think it over.

Perhaps you and your wife could have more discussions about your breasts?  You could ask her point blank if she is ashamed of you for having man boobs?  Or does she think of you being less of a man, for wearing a bra?  This might give you a good indication on where her head is at.  You could also be positive about it, and say something like, "I know this might seem weird but I sometimes like how my breasts look and feel at times.  I enjoy how sensitive they have become, especially when you suck on them".  See if she continues to respond positively to discussions regarding your breasts.  Maybe ask her if you should have a mammogram as a way to start further discussions about your breasts?   I know you have already had a lot of discussions with her and she seems to be very supportive so perhaps what I am suggesting is not needed?  Just my thoughts.

Let us know how it goes.

[PerkyAcups]

I really appreciate the response.  Sometimes I think I share too much.  But sometimes I need to talk about things I can't go anywhere else for.  And I figure other people might be going through similar struggles.  

I am concerned about letting the genie out of the bottle.  I have let a lot of genies out recently.  I'll give you a little personal backstory.  For 20 years I have struggled with online exhibitionism and a few fetishes.  This is what led me to growing breasts.  Keeping these secrets for so many years was putting a big strain on me and our marriage.  I needed help.  It was really hard, but 3 months ago I told her my problem and that I needed to see a therapist.  She was amazingly supportive and from that day our marriage has gotten stronger and stronger.  We both have started really opening up about things.  We have talked a lot about why I am in therapy. She has said she is not perfect and she has no judgements for things I have done. And that I can only bring embarrassment on myself.  And that is proud of me for all of my work and honesty. We have had more sex in the last 3 months than maybe the last 2 years.  

So...all of this new open communication has me wanting no secrets with her.  I am going to tell her the truth.  It is going to be really hard. I thought I was going to carry this secret to the grave.  I can't imagine anyone else knowing I grew purposely grew breasts.  I am going to tell her I was at a weak point in my addiction.  I took things that  
could cause breasts to grow.  In the beginning it wasn't about wanting breasts, it was about feeling that dopamine rush fearing I might actually grow breasts. That I took it too far and grew breasts.  That now somedays I hate what I did, but most days I like my breasts.  I need to wear a bra but also enjoy the kinkiness of wearing one.  And that somedays I wish my breasts were a little bigger.  

I am nervous that once she knows I did it on purpose she might not be as supportive.  I think she is going to be surprised that I would do such a stupid thing, but in the end she will be okay.  I am a little nervous once she knows they are actually real breasts and not just man boobs she will not let me go topless around the house anymore.  Saying something like you grew breasts so now you have to cover them like breasts.  But maybe knowing they are real breasts she will like them more. She likes breasts on females.  Couple nights ago, I let her see me in my bra for the first time.  When I took it off, she sucked on my nipples.  

Whatever happens, I need to tell her.  

PerkyAcups - I have really enjoyed reading your posts.  Thanks for sharing so much detail.  In regards to coming clean with your wife I would caution you to be careful, if you are not sure how your wife will react.  Nobody knows your wife as good as you do but once you come completely clean in regards to your breast growth there is no putting the genie back in the bottle, so to speak.  Woman are notorious for saying one thing but thinking another.  She may be supportive when you first tell her but change her mind once she has had a chance to think it over.

Perhaps you and your wife could have more discussions about your breasts?  You could ask her point blank if she is ashamed of you for having man boobs?  Or does she think of you being less of a man, for wearing a bra?  This might give you a good indication on where her head is at.  You could also be positive about it, and say something like, "I know this might seem weird but I sometimes like how my breasts look and feel at times.  I enjoy how sensitive they have become, especially when you suck on them".  See if she continues to respond positively to discussions regarding your breasts.  Maybe ask her if you should have a mammogram as a way to start further discussions about your breasts?   I know you have already had a lot of discussions with her and she seems to be very supportive so perhaps what I am suggesting is not needed?  Just my thoughts.

Let us know how it goes.

[PerkyAcups]

I finally sat down with my wife and told her all the secrets I have been keeping for many years.  I won't go into details about everything I told her, but I did tell her I purposely took stuff to grow breasts.  I told her in the beginning it was just the rush of fear knowing I might actually grow breasts. I told her once I could tell they were growing I couldn't stop. I told her I like my breasts and some days wish they were bigger.  I told her some days I'd like to wear matching sexy bras and panties. 
 
It was a hard conversation. She doesn't understand the breasts. I told her I didn't quite understand it either. She asked if I wanted to transition. I assured I didn't. She said she didn't want me growing them bigger. Nothing has been said about them since. 
 
If she doesn't want me to grow them bigger I won't. I accomplished my goal. I have real breasts. I'm wearing a bra daily out of necessity now.  That is good enough.  It is an interesting feeling realizing my wife now knows these aren't just man boobs, but real breasts. I think even I see them as real breasts more now than ever.  I hope she continues to support me and still will enjoy playing with my nipples.  Maybe someday help me find a bra.  Time will tell.  I am fortunate to have a wife as understanding as she is.  I will take what she gives me and nothing more.

[tomi66]

Hopefully everything works out for you. She will need time to process it.