It’s wild how HRT changes us. I am 180° different than I used to be. Where as I used to love the size equipment, now I love watching it get smaller & smaller.
As far as the walk goes, I always take my camera with me, ever-hoping to see something interesting along the way.
We’re headed to a Native American Pow Wow event in the Southern Appalachian Mountains tomorrow that my neighbor’s are hosting. I’m really looking forward to taking portraits of Indians in full regalia. I’m hoping for some great photos from my medium format camera to add to my portfolio photo album.
Focus on the Good, Lara.
The crap will always go away.
I'm doing slightly better. I say slightly because I still need time off of almost everything... I'm afloat but not out of the water. The progesterone cream I ordered was delivered today, same Biovea I've had before but this time according to the new info, I'm applying straight on areolas and nipples. Once a day, about half a pump per boob or so, enough to have it easily absorb and not take ages. I'm wondering about what this will do along with Royal Jelly which is obviously doing what it says on the tin.
I took a picture the other day, showing new nice leggings I got. Yes you can see my panties through them. The picture surprised me, Have I lost something from my waist area or am I imagining it? Kinda looks a bit slimmer. Then another pic from yesterday, you can tell by my face that I'm not ok... But the thing is that I'm wearing my new bra and its not a flaunting one at all and yet my boobs look really nice. I guess I wont be needing flaunting bras to look nice any more, only if I really want to.
Anyway, I've had constant crying, breakdowns, dysphoria that goes on the level of physical pain. Its getting better and feels like today might be the first day in almost a week that I wont be crying and feeling like I my heart is going to stop. Its been Tanja and Melissa keeping me sane, awww the women of my life, what would I do without them.
So yea, getting my mind back together. I hope this rut ends soon, its been painful.
May I suggest yoga for bringing peace within . You have nothing to feel ugly about .
You look gorgeous. Think positive. Negative thoughts leads to depression . Just remember
that many here would give arm and a leg to achieve what you have .
chin up , care not what others say , be proud of yourself . Happy thoughts
(14-10-2022, 11:46 PM)myboobs Wrote: May I suggest yoga for bringing peace within . You have nothing to feel ugly about .
You look gorgeous. Think positive. Negative thoughts leads to depression . Just remember
that many here would give arm and a leg to achieve what you have .
chin up , care not what others say , be proud of yourself . Happy thoughts
All good advice.
But these mental issues are so stupid, they make no sense and listen to no logic. Dysphoria is blind and deaf but really loud bitch shouting lies. Things are interestingly about a certain point of view, from mine, I often look like crap and my body disgusts me and I want to change. From someone else's point of view, I'm goals already even though I started "yesterday".
I'm hoping to reach a point of clarity where dysphoria does not blind me as much and not as often. A while back, I had two or three days when somehow I had zero dysphoria and I could see myself for real. I think I saw what others keep telling me and omg I'm cute! And I saw what's going on with my body shape, curves, lot of curves all over. It was so amazing and I was thinking if that is how it feels like when dysphoria is alleviated to the point where it doesn't much exist any more. It will never completely disappear, but I think its almost like a voice which can go so loud its blinding and messing up everything. And then it can go quiet and become so tiny its barely there at all and easy to ignore. That's what I think being in denial did btw, put a sordino on the dysphoria without ever trying to fix it.
I keep on talking about this as dysphoria is the main driving force of my depression and anxiety, now that's a surprise... The good thing is that there is a cure to all of these problems, body fixing and internal work. Latter is probably the harder part.
Seems like I have kicked the depression and dysphoria out for now. I'm actually having a very nice day. I had a decent long walk today by the lakeside. Weather was kinda weird, very English one, cold wind, complete overcast and foggy. That kind of humid and cold is very rare in here. I took some pictures on the way. Mel has been cheering me up so much today, she just keeps on being amazing.
I'm hitting sixteen months on HRT next Wednesday and I might have something awesome to update about. Its fun to be a melon farmer some times.
(This post was last modified: 16-10-2022, 09:11 AM by HelloDiDi.)
Awww, thanks Jo. Hi Steve.
I'm already hyped about Wednesday and hitting sixteen month mark as it seems really promising. It will mark first full fifteen day period that I've been on royal jelly and so far the results seem very interesting.
Also another thing to note is that raising my EV dosage to 4mg/0,10ml every 3.5 days seems to have smoothed out my mood swings by a lot. Going on patches on the side I have to wait unfortunately. Due to welfare system being a bit of a mess with their bureaucracy, I will have the patches paid for only starting from November. Go figure, but that means I still need to wait two weeks until I buy them. Pocketing HRT meds is not nice when I have the right to get them covered... So yea, that'll wait until early next month.
I took progesterone cream on as a little side show. Directly on areolas and nipples this time. I haven't done it like this before. Two days in and there's so much tenderness to the touch I haven't had for quite a while. Exciting times.
Here's few pictures from my walk yesterday just for fun.
I can totally see your meds frequency messing with your moods. I’m glad you got that straightened out. You really scared quite a few of us, I think you know. I’m so glad you’re feeling better and one good thing is now you know what to look out for if that ever happens again.
Several years ago I was combining PM with FG and drinking FG Tea on the side. The FG with Tea bottomed out my blood sugar levels and that was scary. I haven’t taken it since. I did keep both in case of an emergency of being without meds though, but I’ll never take them like that again.
I’m really glad you got out for a walk yesterday. It’s surprising what a great effect time spent in nature has on us. Thank you for sharing photos with us. I’ve always wanted to know what your neck of the woods looks like, so I really appreciate that very much. Plus, I’m a photographer and I love an artist eye.
(16-10-2022, 09:59 AM)Stevenator_ Wrote: I can totally see your meds frequency messing with your moods. I’m glad you got that straightened out. You really scared quite a few of us, I think you know. I’m so glad you’re feeling better and one good thing is now you know what to look out for if that ever happens again.
Several years ago I was combining PM with FG and drinking FG Tea on the side. The FG with Tea bottomed out my blood sugar levels and that was scary. I haven’t taken it since. I did keep both in case of an emergency of being without meds though, but I’ll never take them like that again.
I’m really glad you got out for a walk yesterday. It’s surprising what a great effect time spent in nature has on us. Thank you for sharing photos with us. I’ve always wanted to know what your neck of the woods looks like, so I really appreciate that very much. Plus, I’m a photographer and I love an artist eye.
I’m really glad you’re feeling better.
I had no idea FG could do that. Well I tried it few times and I didn't like it. I rather use it as a spice on chicken than for growing boobs.
Its not just my medication.... Its my mental health in general, I have yet partially untreated massive gender/body dysphoria to deal with along with everything else. Some times its a hormonal swing to some direction that messed me up, often its something else and when things combine, that's when it goes bad. I think I'm over the worst for now.
I will definitely go out more when I can, but the weather again took a turn for worse. Grey and rainy and windy.
Oh I updated my avatar... A bit of a tease about how things are going.
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The good thing is that there is a cure to all of these problems, body fixing and internal work. Latter is probably the harder part.
