[Heaven's Night]

Oh yea, I almost forgot this... Did a bit of dolling up today as I was so happy, I wanted to look pretty. My gf's makeup is magic!

Holy shit!
Your getting more beautiful every day!
If you walked past me on the street, I'd be following you home!

Phew what a doll.
Bobbi

You sure know how to make my heart melt you know.... <3

[Drew]

Oh yea, I almost forgot this... Did a bit of dolling up today as I was so happy, I wanted to look pretty. My gf's makeup is magic!

Holy shit!
Your getting more beautiful every day!
If you walked past me on the street, I'd be following you home!

Phew what a doll.
Bobbi

Dont start stalking BiBi bobbi as I'm a very jealous and vindictive person Or anybody at all!

[Happyme]

Oh yea, I almost forgot this... Did a bit of dolling up today as I was so happy, I wanted to look pretty. My gf's makeup is magic!

Holy shit!
Your getting more beautiful every day!
If you walked past me on the street, I'd be following you home!

Phew what a doll.
Bobbi

Dont start stalking BiBi bobbi as I'm a very jealous and vindictive person  Or anybody at all!

Damn caught again.
Is there no privacy around here??

[Heaven's Night]

Don't worry Drew, you're both lovely. <3 

[Drew]

Don't worry Drew, you're both lovely. <3 

Just joking Sort of.

[Alexis P]

Alexis, don't worry about it, there's still at least some months of NBE ahead, I'm not far in with the 'Lotus program' and I will finish my pm at very least before switching over, the "official" hrt is still over a year away. I got +2 months worth pm to take and I'm not just letting them collect dust, that will be in the end at least six months worth of daily data about NBE.

My number crunching and hormone tinkering will not stop when I go on hrt, I would think it more as hitting in a higher gear in an engine, so I'll keep on posting, measuring, comparing results and going all the way nuts about boobies as I go. The methods will slightly change into hopefully stronger ones and everything else is business as usual.

Yes, my plan is to get a baseline blood work done, have a chat with a doctor (hopefully someone who has even a vague idea about this!) and likely switch on pharma when my pm runs out, or latest after three more cycles or so, that would mean this autumn... I'm not sure about the timing and exact methods yet, it all depends on the way I'm able to obtain the meds. Then switch to 'official' hrt as soon as the trans clinic do their job.

Glad to hear this, i see there is not much to worry about as you already planned everything very smart. 2 months seems a decent amount of time to keep on research and learning more about how to DIY HRT. It is probably pretty obvious at this point but there are some interesting sites you could check, i once stumbled across a Subreddit completely dedicated to it. Of course this is not medical advice but you already know this aswell.
Very curious to see all your next updates and measurements both with the "Lotus Program" and after it, as well as hearing about your feelings and next episodes in your life (wish you all the best!)   .
I see Larissa is ready to conquer the world, but is the world ready for her? 

And thank you Drew, i appreciate it   . I actually spend quite some time on thinking what to say when i post something here, as i always fear of saying the wrong thing or something ambiguous. Your comment made me feel relieved.

[Heaven's Night]

Hello lovelies. <3 Happy pride month. I hope its happy, I've been in some mental rut for a while...

Herbals are doing their job as expected, but my development has clearly showing signs of slowing down. In particular, the little experiment with using PG cream daily resulted into interesting things. Clearly I gained more fullness during that but growth stalled. Then I went back to what I did before, PG three times a week, on Wednesdays and bit more on weekends. Needless to say, growth restarted right away. I think the issue here is that PM and E cream combo as an estrogen source is to weak that adding PG keeps it in check almost too well, so the advice on using PG once every three days or every other day seems to be the best approach. At least at this time, I would presume this being completely different if there would be pharma E in the mix or PM dose would be way higher which isn't worth it. I will attach a pic of the spreadsheet, circled the daily PG days. The rolling average is the cyan/blue line near the top of the picture, you can see right away how that + daily PG use correlates.



So yea, do not shy away from using PG, its essential, but it clearly the dosage must be balanced depending on how much estrogen, plant or otherwise you're on.



I'm going to keep the PM dose even more stable than before. Complete breaks or very small dose out of the blue just wrecks my mental state. My body reacts so strongly to this, I think I will keep more stable dosage than before. And I don't like it too much as its obvious that the 5/2 day system is very good idea, I've had a jump in the measurements (the rolling avg. in particular) during or after the weekend break many times so it does make sense in case there's no crazy mental upheaval like I seem to be getting.

Latest change is that I've started taking reishi twice a day. I'm now one week in with this and I'm experiencing some of the same effects as what I had when I first started it. Dull ache in my boy parts, all emotions are as if multiplied, lot of mental ups and downs and lot of that soothing fluffy euphoria which seems to correlate with DHT doing down. I was suspecting that one cap (500mg 20:1 extract) of reishi per day wasn't working well enough so I decided to test taking another in the evening. I will do this for the next few weeks and see what how my body reacts to it. So far its clearly doing what I expected it to. The mental mess likely settles in another week or two. I wish I wasn't so sensitive to these changes, some people don't seem to get all the roller coaster from this and I get it all, big time.


I'm waiting for the estrofem to arrive... Likely I wont switch over until I'm done with current PM stash, still two bottles untouched and one has enough for few days at least. Once that is done, I will likely take a week or two completely off everything as I've had such long time without any breaks. It will likely result into nasty break downs and crying and feeling like shit, but I want to cleanse my system before jumping the ship. It seems likely now that I can't get my labs done any time soon. The GP's here do not book stuff they think is unnecessary or kind of stuff they don't understand... Its a question of responsibility. Labs will wait until I get to the trans clinic, they will book it right away once they know I've been altering my hormones already. I heard that last year the waiting list to the first meeting was about one month. With luck, I may get it quite soon. Doctor is booked on 10th, so its not that far off.

Other than the mental mess and ton of crying without apparent reason, I've been doing ok lately. There's just so much to do all at the same time. Album recordings with my bands, transitioning, moving in with my gf. We finally made the decision and found a perfect place, occicially in there on July 1st. So lot of stuff to do here. I'm sorry for not having a nice new boob pic to post, I have been lazy snapping them as there isn't much progress to show. I will likely take a while and post some when there's visible change going on.

[Alexis P]

Good evaluation of the daily PG cream period, it does make ton of sense.
I'm not sure if 20000mg of Reishi is too much or not (considering you are using an extract) as i remember someone mentioning the absorption is capped at 10000mg (but i'm not sure who said it, so take it with a grain of salt). But needless to say, i'm very curious what you will say about this other experiment.
I feel sorry to hear about your ups and downs Larissa, you definetly react way more to supplements and herbals emotionally than i do. I can say that since i started again on following the program strictly this friday i've been feeling a little better and slightly more calm but it could be just some satisfaction and excitement for the program in general rather than an effect of what i am taking. Unfortunately, my experience can't help you very much because all the emotional side of NBE is overshadowed by my anxiety problems and the antidepressants i am taking, so i can only give a feedback on the physical side.
That said, the appointment in the 10 June is only 9 days away so hang in there! Just remember to keep time for yourself and to destress everyday. You are definetly going through a lot and deserve lots of attention and love.
Very glad to hear you and your gf finally have found a place together, i know you are very stressed right now and that moving will take a LOT of energies BUT remember: once you get in your new  house you will not be alone (literally) and will get more help with your GF.

Don't worry about pictures, they can definetly wait, the important is taking care of yourself.
You got this! 

[Heaven's Night]

Good evaluation of the daily PG cream period, it does make ton of sense.
I'm not sure if 20000mg of Reishi is too much or not (considering you are using an extract) as i remember someone mentioning the absorption is capped at 10000mg (but i'm not sure who said it, so take it with a grain of salt). But needless to say, i'm very curious what you will say about this other experiment.
I feel sorry to hear about your ups and downs Larissa, you definetly react way more to supplements and herbals emotionally than i do. I can say that since i started again on following the program strictly this friday i've been feeling a little better and slightly more calm but it could be just some satisfaction and excitement for the program in general rather than an effect of what i am taking. Unfortunately, my experience can't help you very much because all the emotional side of NBE is overshadowed by my anxiety problems and the antidepressants i am taking, so i can only give a feedback on the physical side.
That said, the appointment in the 10 June is only 9 days away so hang in there! Just remember to keep time for yourself and to destress everyday. You are definetly going through a lot and deserve lots of attention and love.
Very glad to hear you and your gf finally have found a place together, i know you are very stressed right now and that moving will take a LOT of energies BUT remember: once you get in your new  house you will not be alone (literally) and will get more help with your GF.

Don't worry about pictures, they can definetly wait, the important is taking care of yourself.
You got this! 

Yea, I remember reading this too about reishi, but as extracts seem to often be less effective than it says on the tin, I want to do a little experiment for few weeks, long enough to see if it makes a difference. Yes, I'm crazy, but I want to find out.

I seem to get a lot of emotional roller coaster when ever something changes. Interesting thing is that when I started reishi, my over all mood became soon much more stable with less extremes after a while. When I was on PM only, I got such a mess going on with seemingly never staying stable for more than few days at a time. And the mess happens every time I change something without a long slow upping or reducing the doses. I'm quite confident my mood will significantly improve when I get on hrt.

I think I'm quite good at gauging my emotional state as a 'fly on the wall' as I'm highly analytical about my own behavior and extremely self aware. That's all thanks to traumatic childhood(bullying) which taught me to both analyze others and myself all the time, some times to the point of ridiculous. This is a blessing and a curse at the same time, easy to tell what mental changes are clearly hormonal, but then it makes me overthink a lot which can be a total pain in the ass. I want to be in peace while my mind doesn't let me. Guess why I love to meditate? Speaking of which, I should do that more often, transition has whacked my zen big time.

Moving to the new house is really something. Once that is done, I'm hopefully going to have the rest of the summer quite peaceful time to deal with my own stuff. I better get that time made up somehow or I'll just explode at some point. Getting the process started at the transclinic will clear a lot of things up, I'm sure of that. If I have too tough time to cope, I can always contact them and ask to get on a sick leave which they will without a doubt arrange if I need it.

[Heaven's Night]

Ok, after eight days I dropped reishi dose to one cap per day again. I had a week of such mental mess I can't believe it. I dunno if it was just this, but I feel much better now. Something just felt off. So yea, back to usual one 500mg cap a day.