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Progress, plans and other ramblings

(11-04-2021, 05:44 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  
(11-04-2021, 03:26 PM)Alexis P Wrote:  
(11-04-2021, 08:43 AM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  Hmm.... I'll post some pics from the other day, the makeup turned out so nice.

EDIT:
I outed myself to my mother. It was much easier than I ever expected and she took it without any shock and very casually. She noted I was wearing makeup, in a positive manner ever. So we had a little discussion and that was it. It couldn't have been any more simple. I'm so relieved I can't really describe it.

But I had her fooled, for 37 years. It appears that my character was so credible she didn't quite expect this to my surprise. And another surprise was that she said that she thought of that long ago that it would have been nice to have a boy and a girl, I told her that this dream is now coming true. She took it very nicely. A huge burden was just lifted off my shoulders. Hopefully the net burden on them is my boobs. Wink
This is another little (but huge) step to reach for your dreams Larissa! Very glad to hear it turned out very well.
After outing to your mother, which was one of the hardest things to do for you, now you have no obstacles left in front of you! What do you plan on now? i'm curious.
Like to see the progress in your charts, keep on going!

My father is somewhere down the line on this... I'll be sending requests to more family members on fb to make this stuff easy.

Once I'm done with work, I will start to live as a woman 24/7, no doubt about it. I'm already quite fine with being out as me and not care a darn thing if people stare at me. most of the time, they don't. I think I'm very close to starting to pass so well I don't raise much unwanted attention anyway. Not that I care about it, just that I want to go out in peace. I wont hide one bit soon enough.

I will get an appointment with a doctor to get to the trans clinic next month, well, that's what I hope. The process there will take a while anyway. I will likely stay on herbs for quite a while still. I'm thinking of trying to update my wardrobe quite a lot, when ever I can afford it. I will try to look for like minded friends from close enough to meetup and do stuff. I really badly need that, some nice MtF trans friend to go out with some times. Oh and I'll definitely take some time to hang out at our summerhouse asap, likely spend couple of weeks there, mostly alone with just the nature, the lake and me. Smile Go fishing, weathers allowing, get those lovely tanlines and all.

Also I want to start learning all the neat tricks with makeup and stuff, my gf's being a big help on that. And voice training, definitely. I'm already on that, trying to slowly sound better without forcing it. And I'll keep up with them boobies and taking down measurements and documenting the progress. I think next year this same time, I will do some one year in big summary of it. Did I mention I ordered some nice clothes a while back? Including a really cool goth style corset. Tight lacing coming in, I want to try to do some real deal waist training too.

I feel free to pursue this all now that the thing with coming out starts to be on clear waters. There's nothing stopping me and only the sky is the limit.
Well done DiDI, really difficult thing to do but always best to face it head on and be open and get it done with. Fantastic that she took it well and maybe she will develop that longing for some mom and daughter time Smile 
Build that wardrobe up as and when you can and slowly but surely start putting those boy clothes away, in readiness to give them all to a local charity.
Well done, there's nothing stopping the new DiDi Smile
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Your such a tease Larissa, But please dont stop.
Your very photogenic as well as really beautiful
I'm very happy your mom took the news so well, Thats a huge hurdle, and you deserve lots of happiness with the rest of your life.
Any thoughts on what you will do, job wise, once you lose the boy and Larissa becomes the new addition to the world?
Bobbi
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Yea, she generally took it well... But as always with everything I do, she has some doubts. Which she doesn't dare to tell me as she knows I will not take any disagreement or lack of faith with kindness. This is her problem and the reason why I have hard to speaking about my life with her and very rarely do as she never ever believes in me and doubts everything. She called my girlfriend today and told things she doesn't dare to say to me. Such as she is skeptical as she said she knows her 'son'. That I pick up new things and get excited fast and soon forget about them...(I call that moving on as I want to try everything, that's just me being me.) She also said that she wont show up in public around me if I'm wearing what I'm wearing. But then added that I've always been good looking, but now I'm becoming really pretty.

What a mess, but totally excepted. She has no option but to accept things, but her lack of faith and constant doubt makes me furious! On this she's the polar opposite of my father who has always been supportive and never doubts me as he treats me as an adult and not a stupid little kid like my mother does.

I hate the need to prove myself to her... But lets see, in couple of years she can't tell me apart from a cis woman from anything except my personality and perhaps my voice. I'll prove myself once again if I have to. No need to guess much where I've learned my confidence issues, perfectionism and whipping myself to achieve stuff from. And my fear of failure too. Dodgy 

About them clothes, yea, I'm getting more as I can afford it. Smile But I'll keep a lot of the more androgynous look for sure, metalheads are quite a like on this no matter the gender, but yea, cool new girly stuff coming in soon and I'm planning for more.

On jobs, one thing is for sure, I wont work much on the physical male dominated fields of work... Construction and janitorial stuff will go and I'll do something else for sure. Not because of the work itself which I mostly like, but for the environment, coworkers, bosses... The people there, they're usually highly conservative and at least the older ones will have zero idea how to deal with a transwoman and will likely think I'm some sort of a sissy or weak or incompetent. Which I could of course prove wrong by doing, but I think I'm better off working somewhere else. I've been thinking to try to see if there's something that has to do with music or theater or any culture stuff, that would be close to my liking in general and the attitudes in those circles are inherently better. Customer service, nope, that will happen when a paper dog successfully chases an asbestos cat through hell. Big Grin But anyway, any job that has more welcoming attitude about different people, that's what I'm thinking about. Or perhaps I'll finally find something that I could do myself. Skills + internet could maybe make up something for me, but that's just wishful thinking for now.
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(12-04-2021, 04:21 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  Yea, she generally took it well... But as always with everything I do, she has some doubts. Which she doesn't dare to tell me as she knows I will not take any disagreement or lack of faith with kindness. This is her problem and the reason why I have hard to speaking about my life with her and very rarely do as she never ever believes in me and doubts everything. She called my girlfriend today and told things she doesn't dare to say to me. Such as she is skeptical as she said she knows her 'son'. That I pick up new things and get excited fast and soon forget about them...(I call that moving on as I want to try everything, that's just me being me.) She also said that she wont show up in public around me if I'm wearing what I'm wearing. But then added that I've always been good looking, but now I'm becoming really pretty.

What a mess, but totally excepted. She has no option but to accept things, but her lack of faith and constant doubt makes me furious! On this she's the polar opposite of my father who has always been supportive and never doubts me as he treats me as an adult and not a stupid little kid like my mother does.

I hate the need to prove myself to her... But lets see, in couple of years she can't tell me apart from a cis woman from anything except my personality and perhaps my voice. I'll prove myself once again if I have to. No need to guess much where I've learned my confidence issues, perfectionism and whipping myself to achieve stuff from. And my fear of failure too. Dodgy 

About them clothes, yea, I'm getting more as I can afford it. Smile But I'll keep a lot of the more androgynous look for sure, metalheads are quite a like on this no matter the gender, but yea, cool new girly stuff coming in soon and I'm planning for more.

On jobs, one thing is for sure, I wont work much on the physical male dominated fields of work... Construction and janitorial stuff will go and I'll do something else for sure. Not because of the work itself which I mostly like, but for the environment, coworkers, bosses... The people there, they're usually highly conservative and at least the older ones will have zero idea how to deal with a transwoman and will likely think I'm some sort of a sissy or weak or incompetent. Which I could of course prove wrong by doing, but I think I'm better off working somewhere else. I've been thinking to try to see if there's something that has to do with music or theater or any culture stuff, that would be close to my liking in general and the attitudes in those circles are inherently better. Customer service, nope, that will happen when a paper dog successfully chases an asbestos cat through hell. Big Grin But anyway, any job that has more welcoming attitude about different people, that's what I'm thinking about. Or perhaps I'll finally find something that I could do myself. Skills + internet could maybe make up something for me, but that's just wishful thinking for now.
Regardless of what your mother thinks or says you have a bright future full of possibilites Larissa. Of course it won't be easy finding a job during covid period but when this will be over there will be much more chances.
Also, in couple of years you will probably be on real HRT and that point the changes could be unimaginable compared to the current NBE program, you could really be another person! An entire new life for a complete new person after this bad period of lockdowns and such.
May i ask how your GF relationship has been during these last years, i apologize if this an uncomfortable question, but i am interested in knowing how does this lifechanging experience influence a relationship (never had one personally). Is she comfortable being with another woman? Or something is going to change in the relationship and you both know it?
Anyways best of luck with your future, and thank you for letting me in the BN Discord!
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(12-04-2021, 05:32 PM)Alexis P Wrote:  Regardless of what your mother thinks or says you have a bright future full of possibilites Larissa. Of course it won't be easy finding a job during covid period but when this will be over there will be much more chances.
Also, in couple of years you will probably be on real HRT and that point the changes could be unimaginable compared to the current NBE program, you could really be another person! An entire new life for a complete new person after this bad period of lockdowns and such.
May i ask how your GF relationship has been during these last years, i apologize if this an uncomfortable question, but i am interested in knowing how does this lifechanging experience influence a relationship (never had one personally). Is she comfortable being with another woman? Or something is going to change in the relationship and you both know it?
Anyways best of luck with your future, and thank you for letting me in the BN Discord!

Yea, well, I hope she will come in good terms with this and I know she will as she has no choice. Big Grin

One thing is for sure, once my current job if finished, I will stay few months off work unless some extremely good opportunity arises which I doubt. I need time for myself and to do everything I haven't had the time for. There's a lot to do.

With luck I may be on HRT before this year is over. Not in a hurry really, but I want to get that ball rolling soon.

I've been with her for bit over a year now, she kinda knew about me since the day one, I just hadn't spilled the beans in its entirety back then. (She started dating a guy with boobs, sort of.) She has been mostly very supportive, but went through some sort of depressing realization period lately and that process is still ongoing. Its not easy for, although she has dated a girl back in the day. The biggest change so far is that our sexlife as it was is practically dead. We've had conflicting interests about sex since the day one, she likes vanilla stuff and I like.... More than that. Wink And now its ofc even more evident as my boy bits don't work as well any more and I'm not that interested in using them. We're slowly coming to some solutions about this, but still a long way to go to be really satisfied. Will we ever be, that I don't know yet. I would be open to the idea of some type of poly relationship too, but she has much more difficulty in thinking about it. Time will tell what happens with her. So far, so good. At least we're arguing way less than some while ago. She's doing great job on accepting that she's with a woman now.
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(13-04-2021, 03:45 AM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  
(12-04-2021, 05:32 PM)Alexis P Wrote:  Regardless of what your mother thinks or says you have a bright future full of possibilites Larissa. Of course it won't be easy finding a job during covid period but when this will be over there will be much more chances.
Also, in couple of years you will probably be on real HRT and that point the changes could be unimaginable compared to the current NBE program, you could really be another person! An entire new life for a complete new person after this bad period of lockdowns and such.
May i ask how your GF relationship has been during these last years, i apologize if this an uncomfortable question, but i am interested in knowing how does this lifechanging experience influence a relationship (never had one personally). Is she comfortable being with another woman? Or something is going to change in the relationship and you both know it?
Anyways best of luck with your future, and thank you for letting me in the BN Discord!

Yea, well, I hope she will come in good terms with this and I know she will as she has no choice. Big Grin

One thing is for sure, once my current job if finished, I will stay few months off work unless some extremely good opportunity arises which I doubt. I need time for myself and to do everything I haven't had the time for. There's a lot to do.

With luck I may be on HRT before this year is over. Not in a hurry really, but I want to get that ball rolling soon.

I've been with her for bit over a year now, she kinda knew about me since the day one, I just hadn't spilled the beans in its entirety back then. (She started dating a guy with boobs, sort of.) She has been mostly very supportive, but went through some sort of depressing realization period lately and that process is still ongoing. Its not easy for, although she has dated a girl back in the day. The biggest change so far is that our sexlife as it was is practically dead. We've had conflicting interests about sex since the day one, she likes vanilla stuff and I like.... More than that. Wink And now its ofc even more evident as my boy bits don't work as well any more and I'm not that interested in using them. We're slowly coming to some solutions about this, but still a long way to go to be really satisfied. Will we ever be, that I don't know yet. I would be open to the idea of some type of poly relationship too, but she has much more difficulty in thinking about it. Time will tell what happens with her. So far, so good. At least we're arguing way less than some while ago. She's doing great job on accepting that she's with a woman now.
I get you DiDi, sorry but I like to call you you DiDi it's kinda cute Smile
We are so freikishly similar, yeah my bits don't work properly anymore either but am sort of happy about that as I hate my thingy and wish it was gone. Similar....well I can be a bit of a bitch at time's and you never are. Well apart from the time I questioned your size, something that absolutely confuses me still, size and charts and you deservedly bitched out on me, still awesomely embarrased and ashamed about that incident. But back to topic I have a very close friend we were sexually active many years ago but are now only close friends and well, is the only person allowed to be close to me in a physical sense though not sexual, I wont be ready for that for quite some time.  But we are exactly the same size everywhere means we wear each others clothes.....actually it's more that she wears mine, I own far too much underwear for any one person to possibly own I'm obsessively sick about bying nice clothing, so she borrows some of my more expensive bras. Point though is you have a person who accepts you for the person you are without judgement that is a person to be cherished, there aren't that many of them out there. The gift of having a person very close and understanding is a privelage that one cannot behold, it's rare.
Keep her DiDi she sounds worth it!
Reply

(12-04-2021, 04:21 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  Yea, she generally took it well... But as always with everything I do, she has some doubts. Which she doesn't dare to tell me as she knows I will not take any disagreement or lack of faith with kindness. This is her problem and the reason why I have hard to speaking about my life with her and very rarely do as she never ever believes in me and doubts everything. She called my girlfriend today and told things she doesn't dare to say to me. Such as she is skeptical as she said she knows her 'son'. That I pick up new things and get excited fast and soon forget about them...(I call that moving on as I want to try everything, that's just me being me.) She also said that she wont show up in public around me if I'm wearing what I'm wearing. But then added that I've always been good looking, but now I'm becoming really pretty.

What a mess, but totally excepted. She has no option but to accept things, but her lack of faith and constant doubt makes me furious! On this she's the polar opposite of my father who has always been supportive and never doubts me as he treats me as an adult and not a stupid little kid like my mother does.

I hate the need to prove myself to her... But lets see, in couple of years she can't tell me apart from a cis woman from anything except my personality and perhaps my voice. I'll prove myself once again if I have to. No need to guess much where I've learned my confidence issues, perfectionism and whipping myself to achieve stuff from. And my fear of failure too. Dodgy 

About them clothes, yea, I'm getting more as I can afford it. Smile But I'll keep a lot of the more androgynous look for sure, metalheads are quite a like on this no matter the gender, but yea, cool new girly stuff coming in soon and I'm planning for more.

On jobs, one thing is for sure, I wont work much on the physical male dominated fields of work... Construction and janitorial stuff will go and I'll do something else for sure. Not because of the work itself which I mostly like, but for the environment, coworkers, bosses... The people there, they're usually highly conservative and at least the older ones will have zero idea how to deal with a transwoman and will likely think I'm some sort of a sissy or weak or incompetent. Which I could of course prove wrong by doing, but I think I'm better off working somewhere else. I've been thinking to try to see if there's something that has to do with music or theater or any culture stuff, that would be close to my liking in general and the attitudes in those circles are inherently better. Customer service, nope, that will happen when a paper dog successfully chases an asbestos cat through hell. Big Grin But anyway, any job that has more welcoming attitude about different people, that's what I'm thinking about. Or perhaps I'll finally find something that I could do myself. Skills + internet could maybe make up something for me, but that's just wishful thinking for now.
Don't worry about your mother, you came out to her, she took it well and only after the event has she thought to question.
You continue what you are doing and she will slowly but surely realise and accept that her son is now her daughter.
Job-wise, I would suggest using covid as an opportunity, turn it into something positive. What I mean is think about what you are good at and turn it into a business (it's what I have done) then use your story and experiences to sell. I know you are into drumming, can you do drum lessons, sell drum equipment etc or something else online. Use your assets and remember people buy off people, especially if they have an interesting back story.
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(13-04-2021, 11:19 AM)Drew Wrote:  I get you DiDi, sorry but I like to call you you DiDi it's kinda cute Smile
We are so freikishly similar, yeah my bits don't work properly anymore either but am sort of happy about that as I hate my thingy and wish it was gone. Similar....well I can be a bit of a bitch at time's and you never are. Well apart from the time I questioned your size, something that absolutely confuses me still, size and charts and you deservedly bitched out on me, still awesomely embarrased and ashamed about that incident. But back to topic I have a very close friend we were sexually active many years ago but are now only close friends and well, is the only person allowed to be close to me in a physical sense though not sexual, I wont be ready for that for quite some time.  But we are exactly the same size everywhere means we wear each others clothes.....actually it's more that she wears mine, I own far too much underwear for any one person to possibly own I'm obsessively sick about bying nice clothing, so she borrows some of my more expensive bras. Point though is you have a person who accepts you for the person you are without judgement that is a person to be cherished, there aren't that many of them out there. The gift of having a person very close and understanding is a privelage that one cannot behold, it's rare.
Keep her DiDi she sounds worth it!

Yea, you can call me DiDi. xD I like it too.

I don't mind mine not being all that great these days, but I don't hate it, never had much issue about it. I think I've lost some size which makes wearing panties heck of a lot nicer. Hahaha, I guess I'll post some measuring tape pics some day soon to put the size thing to rest and some with my new bras when I get them. Wink

So far everyone has been quite awesome about me coming out, my gf is a huge help. I think she's doing good progress on making her mind about me, much less tears and arguments lately. We have never really argued much which is very nice. Once we get the sex side of things working some way, its all good. And that's nearly the only complaint I have about her. She's a big clingy though and is terribly afraid of losing me which doesn't go well with me as I despise being put in chains somehow. I mean I've learned to not be clingy and I've learned to let go of people when its needed. I'm sure if she let go of her fear of losing me, she would be much happier too.
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(13-04-2021, 01:44 PM)wee2er Wrote:  Don't worry about your mother, you came out to her, she took it well and only after the event has she thought to question.
You continue what you are doing and she will slowly but surely realise and accept that her son is now her daughter.
Job-wise, I would suggest using covid as an opportunity, turn it into something positive. What I mean is think about what you are good at and turn it into a business (it's what I have done) then use your story and experiences to sell. I know you are into drumming, can you do drum lessons, sell drum equipment etc or something else online. Use your assets and remember people buy off people, especially if they have an interesting back story.

Yea, she will be fine, I'm sure of it. Smile

Hmmhmm... Lets see if I can make up something. So far I got nothing to worry about, after my job ends, I will get on govt benefits for a while and I know I can survive on that for some time. Not gonna be able to afford much, but its ok. i'll see about jobs and stuff near the summer's end, next four months is for myself, being alive, getting all sorts of stuff done and dealt with.
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(13-04-2021, 02:29 PM)HelloDiDi Wrote:  
(13-04-2021, 11:19 AM)Drew Wrote:  I get you DiDi, sorry but I like to call you you DiDi it's kinda cute Smile
We are so freikishly similar, yeah my bits don't work properly anymore either but am sort of happy about that as I hate my thingy and wish it was gone. Similar....well I can be a bit of a bitch at time's and you never are. Well apart from the time I questioned your size, something that absolutely confuses me still, size and charts and you deservedly bitched out on me, still awesomely embarrased and ashamed about that incident. But back to topic I have a very close friend we were sexually active many years ago but are now only close friends and well, is the only person allowed to be close to me in a physical sense though not sexual, I wont be ready for that for quite some time.  But we are exactly the same size everywhere means we wear each others clothes.....actually it's more that she wears mine, I own far too much underwear for any one person to possibly own I'm obsessively sick about bying nice clothing, so she borrows some of my more expensive bras. Point though is you have a person who accepts you for the person you are without judgement that is a person to be cherished, there aren't that many of them out there. The gift of having a person very close and understanding is a privelage that one cannot behold, it's rare.
Keep her DiDi she sounds worth it!

Yea, you can call me DiDi. xD I like it too.

I don't mind mine not being all that great these days, but I don't hate it, never had much issue about it. I think I've lost some size which makes wearing panties heck of a lot nicer. Hahaha, I guess I'll post some measuring tape pics some day soon to put the size thing to rest and some with my new bras when I get them. Wink

So far everyone has been quite awesome about me coming out, my gf is a huge help. I think she's doing good progress on making her mind about me, much less tears and arguments lately. We have never really argued much which is very nice. Once we get the sex side of things working some way, its all good. And that's nearly the only complaint I have about her. She's a big clingy though and is terribly afraid of losing me which doesn't go well with me as I despise being put in chains somehow. I mean I've learned to not be clingy and I've learned to let go of people when its needed. I'm sure if she let go of her fear of losing me, she would be much happier too.
Happy to hear your mum's reaction but is no surprise as mums are a bit like that. Also it's very strange how people can develop an extreme fear of losing somebody who will never, never abandon them. I sort of pick up that feeling that you are that sort of person too. Hope I'm not wrong but I am arrogantly absolutely sure you are one of those who will not emotionally hurt or let's say..abandon a person who needs us.
I cannot answer how to fix that issue, it's something I have gone through myself and perplexed me and have no answer to. And no! you don't need to take pics with a tape because those things and the charts are lying bastards, according to statistics I'm supposed to be a D cup, all of my bras are a B and I can barely, almost just about fill them. So you see this is how I got a bit curious, and probably offensive which made me decide at that time to leave this place for ever. But I believe you, if your bras fit and am sure they do then that's you. Bras and sizes are a bit dodgy. All of my bras are 70b or 32b I think in imperial? Some look a bit creased or baggy as I'm not quite filling it, others look like im about to burst out of them am stretching it so much, even though they are all the same size. Dont worry about it too much, boob size is a bit of a bitch, finding a bra that fit's ..well kinda difficult.
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