[jannet.duff]

Some of my close family know, others I have not bothered. Living in Canada, and having all my family in the UK, sort of puts a lot of family on a need to know basis. My oldest sister, her hubby and two foster kids ( teenage girls ) are supposed to be comming over next year. She, I feel may not be so understanding. When we find out the final details, I will have to tell her. My mum knows and my younger sister knows, they both seem ok with it. ( At least from a distance) I had to change my Facebook profile ( I have 2 ) picture, a few people we know mentioned to my wife that Jannets picture and profile had come up on " people you may know " As I am not out fully, I did not want anyone from my work place comming across Jannet. Telling male friends is going to be challenging. I do expect to loose them, but that's just the nature of the world we live in.

I hope your day ends well ...

[julieTG]

Megan

Uh

You don't look even remotely male

X

Julie

[MeganJ]

Megan

Uh

You don't look even remotely male

X

Julie

Hi Julie,

Many thanks wanted to make sure it wasnt all in my head and also slightly worried about.

When I started the thread I wasnt sure from the one set of pics but had just noticed little things last week when in male mode. Megan is definately here to stay, she has a lot more confidence and have noticed myself smiling a lot more even in male mode especially when its quiet and Megan is in charge. Thank god I can still just about switch between the two, its great when shopping and I just happen to be in the beauty isle (thank god for self pay checkouts) and need the confidence to pick up an item or two!

I guess I will try to keep things on the quiet for a bit other than just family and close friends for now, but am starting to wonder if there will come a day when Megan just takes over completely without me realising it.

Jannet, I have had a reply from the male friend I have texted who I have known since age 11, we hung out on Saturday and he didnt spot anything - although the 4 day stubble possibly helped there. He is completely fine with it all though, no doubt he will spot things though when I see him again in a few weeks!

Other people I know, well I am not rushing to spill the beans but I will be open about things if they ask and I trust them enough not to either overreact and/or to keep it to themselves!

Time to spend the next four months dieting, keeping up with my non visible feminization and trying to stay male when I need to be. Hopefully my only worries will be what to pack for my hols!

Thanks to everyone who contributes to this forum, as a long time lurker it has been a very useful resource and a source of inspiration. To those other lurkers if I got the confidence to register and post you can too!

Satya/Megan

[MeganJ]

[attachment=12471]

Just one more pic, just checked through again and somehow missed this one first time around!

Satya/Megan

[Sofia Bunny]

Just one more pic, just checked through again and somehow missed this one first time around!

Satya/Megan

Ooh, new name? Love your new picture. Doesn't look so dark and gloomy. Hope the smiles continue and if you need any help or info on weight loss, feel free to PM me. I went from 185 at the beginning of the year and I have been holding pretty well just under 160 now.

Thanks for sharing your story and pictures!

[MeganJ]

Hi Fire and Ice,

Thanks for your kind words again, thought I would attach a colour pic, as the others werent black and white and the other colour filter are a bit more flattering though, and I really dont think I will be identified from the pics - I dont wear glasses at all but they are great for keeping the hair of my face, and hiding slightly overbushy eyebrows! But if anyone does recognise me then at this point I am really not very bothered.

Also thought what the hell I might as well change my user id as well since I now feel like Megan is slowly taking over when she can although this does mean I have to work harder on preserving male mannerisms and body posture a lot more - I think it was walking like a woman towards the checkout that did for me on Monday - I just went into autopilot cause I wanted to get out of there and unfortunately Megan decided she wanted to take over on the walk to the till.

I keep looking at the my pics from yesterday, I still cant believe its me at all which is both a nice feeling and terrifying at the same time, because I never thought facially I would be passable or at least not look male but I fear thats just going to encourage more feminization as Megan slowly takes over! It sounds similar to your dichotomy without the added complication of a spouse or partner.

My weight loss is the one thing I have sorted even if it feels like everything else is up in the air. Have managed to drop my weight from about 310 lbs down to about 260 in less than four months, I have a target of 200lbs which I am aiming for at the moment. That will possibly take the rest of the year, at the current rate of progress although I havent been that weight since about age 14 (although apparently I had the skeleton of 18 year old then due to rampant growth hormones) so I might be too thin for my frame - and Id like to have some curves!

t the present I am just taking it day to day, I do feel better for both posting the pics on here and a bit more about me and coming out to a really good friend - I think I had too much bottled up not to tell someone and I know he will be discrete about it in the meantime.

Megan

P.S There is a really good story behind why my mom wanted to call me Megan if I was a girl, and why the name just seemed to fit me, but Ill save that for another day/post/thread!

[MeganJ]

Right the nuclear (email mom) button has been pressed, although I doubt she will check her emails tonight anyway!

Have sent her one of my pics from yesterday for some reason as well, I guess maybe to show her I am serious although being almost 38 if she doesnt like it then tough buns. That said I think my mom is pretty open about things like this (other family members including her brother less so as their cousin transitioned a few years ago) and I am sure she already suspects something, I did mention that in the email as I was sure she knew that I knew that she knew at a particular point. (if that makes sense!)

As for me thats about all the coming out I am doing at present unless I am questioned about it and feel I can trust the questioner! Am going to try and see my doctor this week just for a health check up, as I dont plan on transitioning straight away (so I wouldnt get synth hormones in the UK) and the pharma meds seem to have a lot of side effects (undesired ones) I will certainly be around the naturals part of this forum for a while longer.

Thanks again for everyone who contributes to the forum, it has been really helpful in coming to terms with the idea of being more female even if I dont go fully female, but also realising that I am not the only person going through the same things. A lifetime of on and off problems and worries has left me pretty resilient at coping with most things but I still think this forum has been an immense help both in terms of what herbals to buy but also as a place where people can be themselves - whatever gender that might be!

Megan

P.S I still dont know where I will end up but I dont tend to do things by half so this could become a more permanent thing than I thought originally possible even if it takes a few years!

I had thought about a big coming out when I am 40 for some reason, although male mode seems hard to pull off after a few months let alone after a few years and I do worry that Megan is just going to suddenly take over one day and that will be that!

[jannet.duff]

the pharma meds seem to have a lot of side effects (undesired ones) I will certainly be around the naturals part of this forum for a while longer.

If you use Facebook, you may want to look at the Facebook HRT FORUM. They talk quite a lot about pharma meds, side effects ect. Most of the reports for side effects are from the old style HRT meds, those are no longer used. The meds used now are bio identical, and a whole lot safer.

Good luck with your Mum, my fingers are crossed for you.

[MeganJ]

Hi Jannet,

Will check out the HRT group on Facebook if i can without having to have a facebook account, maybe the stuff I read was a bit out of date but there seem to be more issues with synth hormones than seem to be reported for NBE, but if things have changed then maybe that is an option. Due to the rules in the UK though you do have to be living or likely to live in your preferred gender role before you can get hormones which is some way off at present.

In terms of my mom, she was very shocked and upset by it, so much so that my dad went to check on her when she read the email so he knows as well. However my mom (and my dad I hope) at least is being supportive, even if she doesnt understand fully the reasoning why. She did say that all she wants is for her children to be happy so I assured her that was the case.

Having the support of my family is the main thing, I think most of my immediate work colleagues at least would be supportive or at least be polite to me about it (even if they arent when I am not around), but work is a whole other issue to deal with at some point in the future as and when I need to.

I guess things couldnt have gone any better than it did though which I guess is the main thing! Am speaking to my mom tonight on the phone which might well be a little emotional! That said I think her focus is also on my cousin who had her first born early this morning so my timing isnt great.

I do feel better for being open about things as much as I have been though - although it has hit home a little more today what a massive step this could potentially be in the long term and I am more aware than ever of how much mentally and physically I have changed. Maybe I always looked slightly feminine anyway but didnt realise it, and the NBE has helped to exaggerate those features!

[jannet.duff]

Hi Jannet,

[Quote=] Due to the rules in the UK though you do have to be living or likely to live in your preferred gender role before you can get hormones which is some way off at present.

That is harsh, I know at one time you had to be living in your preferred gender for 12 months, before they would supply hormones. I thought the rules had relaxed more than that. An older lady who used to be on this forum went dressed for the hormones, and took a list of the herbs presently taken. She got given them almost straight away.

In terms of my mom, she was very shocked and upset by it, so much so that my dad went to check on her when she read the email so he knows as well. However my mom (and my dad I hope) at least is being supportive, even if she doesnt understand fully the reasoning why. She did say that all she wants is for her children to be happy so I assured her that was the case.

Hopefuly both parents will come around,

Having the support of my family is the main thing, I think most my immediate work colleagues at least would be supportive or at least be polite to me about it (even if they arent when I am not around), but work is a whole other issue to deal with at some point in the future as and when I need to.

I often wonder what they suspect around here, I am hairless all over, and it has been mentioned in passing but no one has come right out and questioned it, or pulled me down about it. Its also quite obvious my chest is "different" and it's just a matter of time before somebody asks what's going on.

I guess things couldnt have gone any better than it did though which I guess is the main thing! Am speaking to my mom tonight on the phone which might well be a little emotional! That said I think her focus is also on my cousin who had her first born early this morning so my timing isnt great.

I do feel better for being open about things as much as I have been though - although it has hit home a little more today what a massive step this could potentially be in the long term and I am more aware than ever of how much mentally and physically I have changed. Maybe I always looked slightly feminine anyway but didnt realise it, and the NBE has helped to exaggerate those features!

Good luck, my fingers are crossed for you.