Now tht I have come out to my fiancee I feel more at ease around her. Im able to dress like I want (in private) , and our sex life seemed to get a huge jolt.. at first.
The problem is this thinng between my legs. She likes it and I don't , in fact I hate it. I hate looking at it , touching it, having to wash it, using it on her I just fucking can't stand having a penis. When I tell people this they bring up tht ive used it many times with several different people in ny lifetime. But for me its always been kind of living vicariously through the women I was with. Id imagine them fucking me instead of I them. So now its like im depriving my fiancee of something she kind of was expecting to get when I got with her. Its not enough to imagine not being the fuck et anymore I wanna be the fuck ee. The sex we have now us more closer to tht of wat lesbians do which I think is great but even though she doesn't say anything I know by comparing moans and orgasm numbers tht my fingers just arnt cutting it. We have talked of strap ons post op but she has also brought up the idea of me being allowed to go outside our relationship in order to get my penis quota filled if u know wat I mean.
But though I know a huge part of me would love tht the other part of me is concerned about her needs. I feel like I should be fucking her on principle but wen she touches me down there I get super depressed which kills my hard on. Also I know if I did allow some guy to bang my brains out she would feel some way about it and probably won't tell me until its too late and our relationship would die because of it and we r raising 3 kids together and I love her to pieces and don't want to jeopardize tht.
I have no clue wat to do.

Help.

Oh, Karina, dearie, I can relate. You are experiencing the down side of what many MTF transgenders have to deal with when they are in a committed relationship. Sexual orientation is not tied to gender identity, so if you and your mate are heterosexual before your transition, then there's often problems afterward. Even before transitioning you probably had difficulty performing the male role, right? So, killing your T has only made things more difficult. That certainly has been my experience.

You and your wife being so young, sex is an important part of your relationship, I'm sure. You need to explore alternate ways to achieve mutual satisfaction. I'm not comfortable about going outside to find sexual satisfaction, though, for either of you. You can pretty much kiss your future marriage goodbye if that happens.

Is it possible you are attracted to men as well? That could spell trouble for your marriage, down the road, too. Having three kids between you and your fiance really complicates things.

I don't know if you plan to go all the way in your transition to include GRS, but if not, or until you do, it's still possible to have normal intercourse with your wife with a little help from the pharmaceutical companies. It takes a little planning ahead and preparation, but as long as you still have a penis, it's possible to get and keep an erection if it's important to satisfy your wife's needs. Sometimes having intercourse once a month, along with other regular sexual intimacy, can meet your partner's needs.

I think the best thing to do is talk heart to heart with your wife about her feelings. If your lucky she may come to enjoy making love to another woman (you) as much as she did when you were a man. Explore a range of sexual methods and techniques. There is no one formula that is guaranteed to work.

Good luck, hon,

Clara

I have to say, just because you are a woman, does not mean you like to be the fuckee. I am a woman and love being the one on top and rarely let any man dominate me in the bedroom.

I know there is more to it for you, but I can tell you many women love doing the pole work.

Now tht I have come out to my fiancee I feel more at ease around her. Im able to dress like I want (in private) , and our sex life seemed to get a huge jolt.. at first.
The problem is this thinng between my legs. She likes it and I don't , in fact I hate it. I hate looking at it , touching it, having to wash it, using it on her I just fucking can't stand having a penis. When I tell people this they bring up tht ive used it many times with several different people in ny lifetime. But for me its always been kind of living vicariously through the women I was with. Id imagine them fucking me instead of I them. So now its like im depriving my fiancee of something she kind of was expecting to get when I got with her. Its not enough to imagine not being the fuck et anymore I wanna be the fuck ee. The sex we have now us more closer to tht of wat lesbians do which I think is great but even though she doesn't say anything I know by comparing moans and orgasm numbers tht my fingers just arnt cutting it. We have talked of strap ons post op but she has also brought up the idea of me being allowed to go outside our relationship in order to get my penis quota filled if u know wat I mean.
But though I know a huge part of me would love tht the other part of me is concerned about her needs. I feel like I should be fucking her on principle but wen she touches me down there I get super depressed which kills my hard on. Also I know if I did allow some guy to bang my brains out she would feel some way about it and probably won't tell me until its too late and our relationship would die because of it and we r raising 3 kids together and I love her to pieces and don't want to jeopardize tht.
I have no clue wat to do.

Help.

I have to say, just because you are a woman, does not mean you like to be the fuckee. I am a woman and love being the one on top and rarely let any man dominate me in the bedroom.

I know there is more to it for you, but I can tell you many women love doing the pole work.

I am a Dom but I LOVE watching, and feeling, a woman do all the work and enjoying herself with my body.
Yarrr!

Hey, Tibetan...bless your heart, can we clone you? Lol

Hey, Tibetan...bless your heart, can we clone you? Lol

Im saying I like being dominated. Id like to be the one not having to focus on bringing about so many orgasms and instead being the one who is the focus of the pleasure making. Thts all Im asking.

Hey, Tibetan...bless your heart, can we clone you? Lol

Im saying I like being dominated. Id like to be the one not having to focus on bringing about so many orgasms and instead being the one who is the focus of the pleasure making. Thts all Im asking.

If that's the case, would talking to your partner about always being the dominant one help any? If she knows what turns you on (im sure she does as you two have been together for some time), she can make the situation a little more easier.