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Gender Dysphoria

Clara, what you describe is quite natural and very common among those who self identify as CD rather than TS or TG. Even Sammie has male days...lol.
It is all a matter of finding the balance that works for you. The swinging pendulum can become quite dizzying.
By the way, for what it is worth, you didnt seem bad last week at all...tee hee...if that was Clara being irritable, I think we are all safe.Wink
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...promise you won't bite my head off? I wasn't too happy with you (Clara) yesterday when you kept questioning my motives in my "what's good about masculinity" thread. Flame summarized it well in a PM:

You (Kari) have a female gender identity. However, out of love & respect for your wife and kids, you're denying your gender identity to an extent. To help make it easier to cope with this challenge, you want to know the virtues & benefits of being a bio-male. Am I on track here?

Maybe I wasn't clear, maybe you misunderstood, who knows. Anyway, reading your last post sheds light on why you responded like you did and hopefully Flame's summary reveals to you why I asked the question.

I wish good for you Clara and hope you find peace and progress in this time of soul searching and reflection.

Blessings,
Kari
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(10-03-2014, 05:01 PM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  Clara, what you describe is quite natural and very common among those who self identify as CD rather than TS or TG. Even Sammie has male days...lol.
It is all a matter of finding the balance that works for you. The swinging pendulum can become quite dizzying.
By the way, for what it is worth, you didnt seem bad last week at all...tee hee...if that was Clara being irritable, I think we are all safe.Wink

I'm glad I didn't come off as boorish to you, Sammie.

Anyway, I think I know what you're saying, although I don't identify as a crossdresser, that is, someone who is a male-bodied, male-identified, heterosexual who dresses in women's clothing. Yes, I'm am all that, but I also identify as female, so that makes me TG.

Clara
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Tee hee...see why I don't like labels?
Tongue
We are so alike in a lot of ways, honey. I just think my female voice may be somewhat louder than yours, at least right now. Samantha can be downright demanding lately, and she is often positively screaming for release. Tongue
By the way, my comments were not meant to diminish males, but rather to point out my belief that much of what was being discussed was not limited by gender but by individual character regardless of physical sex. I am an equal opportunity wacko. I still believe positive, negative whatever...exists on both sides of the gender divide, and that, in fact, the divide itself may be nothing but an arbitary construct first created in ancient times to assist survival, but carried on now strictly from social habit. Should have come with an expiration date. Tee hee
I have read that the reason men tend to be unfaithful while women tend not to be has to do with evolutionary survival. A woman increases the odds of her genes surviving but protecting her offspring, since she can only procreate once a year. A male, on the other hand, can produce offspring as often as he can find partners, thus ensuring the continuation of his line by frequent encounters. Men are thus biologically programmed to be promiscuous. Gender roles, I think, came to be in much the same way. But today, that is, biologically, obsolete.
Overcoming, those stereotypes is if interest to me.Tongue
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(10-03-2014, 06:27 PM)Kari Leigh Doodlebug Wrote:  ...promise you won't bite my head off? I wasn't too happy with you (Clara) yesterday when you kept questioning my motives in my "what's good about masculinity" thread. Flame summarized it well in a PM:

You (Kari) have a female gender identity. However, out of love & respect for your wife and kids, you're denying your gender identity to an extent. To help make it easier to cope with this challenge, you want to know the virtues & benefits of being a bio-male. Am I on track here?

Maybe I wasn't clear, maybe you misunderstood, who knows. Anyway, reading your last post sheds light on why you responded like you did and hopefully Flame's summary reveals to you why I asked the question.

I wish good for you Clara and hope you find peace and progress in this time of soul searching and reflection.

Blessings,
Kari

I was offended by what I thought was the anti-male tone of the responses to your question that painted a rather negative stereotype of men in general. In your original question you stated: "If I was proud to be a man, what is it exactly, that I could be proud of? Strength probably tops my list but I quickly run out of ideas and don't want to clog your mind with what I'm thinking." This kind of set the stage for a feminist-like "what are men good for" bashing of the male sex that I found very distasteful.

Knowing you to be a thoughtful and conscientious person, I thought maybe the intent of the thread was all tongue-in-cheek.

By the way, there were some thoughtful responses, too, so my criticism was not directed at everyone.

Kari, I ordinarily wouldn't have called attention to it, but I was in that kind of mood that day.

Clara
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(10-03-2014, 06:53 PM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  Tee hee...see why I don't like labels?
Tongue

Touche!

Clara Blush
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Clara, you were too quick...you missed a lengthy edit...tee hee
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(10-03-2014, 09:50 PM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  Clara, you were too quick...you missed a lengthy edit...tee hee

Yes, I've been overly aggressive lately...LOL.

But, anyway, I agree with your view that many of the differences between males and females are simply carryovers from the ancient past, embodied in genetic code, religious codes, and cultural traditions.

There is no doubt that the unique qualities of men are of lesser importance today than say a century ago. The statistically significant advantages of greater physical strength and visually-oriented perceptive abilities are losing their edge in a world that has become a huge technological organism more dependent on information, knowledge, communication, organization and cooperation for its survival. Many of the attributes needed to function effectively in this new age are feminine attributes, and bio-women are their main source.

It's too early to predict the long term consequences of this rather young cultural development. The nature of things is to return to the mean statistically. Large species are always more vulnerable to extinction than the small, if for no other reason than they are so few in number.

But, enough philosophy. It won't change much in my life time, anyway. I hope.

Clara Smile
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Clara,

I think context can make a huge difference in issues like this. If it was a random stranger who was criticizing one gender or the other, I would proceed with caution. I typically prefer to avoid mud slinging contests. However, knowing Kari from both public and private communications, I recognized her thread had no malicious intentions. I see her thread as an attempt to make light of a difficult predicament she's in, rather than as a criticism of the male gender. That's why I was dumbstruck by your misandrist accusation. She never said anything to the tone of men being stupid, brutal or evil. Her thread was a question of inquiry in my view, not antagonizing the male gender.

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(10-03-2014, 06:57 PM)ClaraKay Wrote:  In your original question you stated: "If I was proud to be a man, what is it exactly, that I could be proud of? ... This kind of set the stage for a feminist-like "what are men good for" bashing of the male sex that I found very distasteful.

I see what you mean. I've always said that written communication can be risky because it lacks facial expressions,tone, inflection and body language - this statement of mine is a perfect example. When I said,

"IF I was proud to be a man..."

You, and who knows how many others, took it to mean, "I'm NOT proud to be a man and I can't fathom why anyone would want to be either." When in reality, I was saying, "I WANT to be proud to be a man, can you help me?"

Same string of words, huge difference in meaning. Sorry for the confusion & glad we cleared it up. I don't want to be at odds with anyone here especially a good-hearted person like you.
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