One thing nice about NBE is that you're not locked into a medical prescription. You'll have total control of your HRT.
I like the idea of taking it a step at a time. You can't be sure how your body will react at the outset. So, first get some estrogen inside. Start with just PM, ramping up from a small dose. See how your body responds. If you're like me, the effects will be noticeable in two weeks. Others have not been so lucky.
After breast buds, if you want other feminizing effects (less body hair, fatter butt and thighs), add a good anti-androgen (check out the FAQ for a rather complete list). I started out with Spearmint leaf (to inhibit testosterone production) and then later added Pygeum (to neutralize the effects of DHT like hair growth). I've added MACA recently with the hope that it will hasten fat redistribution to the hips and thighs. Note: My DW wants an anti-MACA herb to do the opposite.. LOL!
Beyond that, you'll know a lot about how your body responds, and can fine tune your program with a wide variety of herbs, if that's your desire.
Just a side note: In preparation to talk to your wife, best to brush up on gender identity dysphoria. Here's a good place to start:
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm
My best wishes go with you, Amanda dear.
Clara