Hi Jannet, it sounds like things have been a bit rough. Sorry to hear. Wish there was a magic wand to make everything better, but alas I have not found it. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me. You are more than welcome on the chatroom, I'm usually on there the majority of the time. Activity varies throughout the day, but you're more than welcome. It's a wonderful place to talk and hopefully have a bit of peace of mind. Take care of yourself Jannet!