[Drew]

If I was close I would go out with you, we would have a blast!!!

 
Awwwh... The bless and curse of the internet strikes again. There's so many nice people popping out of the woodwork lately its been amazing. But they're seemingly all in different time zones than me. Of course since I live in the backwoods of the world.

Finns can be terribly difficult to get to warm up for friendship, never mind meeting in real life, that's even harder. Distances are quite long here but the main reason is the Finnish psyche and the way this stuff just works here. I've tried finding like minded friends as long as I've been into NBE and the other assorted "issues" that are part and parcel here.... And I'm yet to meet ANYONE, not even one. Partially due to how I don't seem to fit very well with the sexual/gender minorities and perhaps I don't know the right channels for finding friends like that?

Having irl friends who at least accept is rare, then there's the very few who understand (Who are worth more than all gold in the world!), but that's one thing, having someone to meet up with who is experiencing EXACTLY what I am would be a dream come true... Honestly I have no idea will that ever happen or how long it might take. In a big country with less than five million people in total you can think what the chances of such things are, specially outside the capital and the surrounding area. (1/5 of all Finns live there!)

Around my neighborhood, there is no "scene" for any of this stuff, not even for gays, not to mention others.

The closest person to being a friend like this is my girlfriend, she's just awesome with everything, but that's once again different kettle of fish. What I need is a "girlfriend" to spend time with. This online community here and elsewhere is really godsend, but it can only go so far... Irl conncetion is on whole another level.

Believe me Michelle, if you'd be closer than +1000km which I presume there is, I'd be out with you in a heartbeat.

Well you wouldn't want me though I'm in the same time zone and just a few hours drive away.
I live in the Luneburg Heath so not that far, just a bit of a long drive to go for a drink.
Maybe I will invite you to my next art exhibition????
But, am not that good at that either Suppose I would be better if I were to do abstract BS but cannot stop myself from painting landscapes that look like real places. Though ashamed to say I did do that and they sold instantly but were absolutely rubbish pictures if I could call them that. But yeah, were Europeans

[Heaven's Night]

Well you wouldn't want me though I'm in the same time zone and just a few hours drive away.
I live in the Luneburg Heath so not that far, just a bit of a long drive to go for a drink.
Maybe I will invite you to my next art exhibition????
But, am not that good at that either Suppose I would be better if I were to do abstract BS but cannot stop myself from painting landscapes that look like real places. Though ashamed to say I did do that and they sold instantly but were absolutely rubbish pictures if I could call them that. But yeah, were Europeans

I could say the same about my art too, excluding having a change to put it out there or ever selling a piece. (The times someone has paid for it I can count very quickly...) I should link something some time, my next art project is covers for our bands new album. Oh and I would totally come to see your exhibition if I happened to be somewhere near enough.

Last night I ended up staying awake far longer than I wanted to, but I had to have a serious discussion with my gf. I had to tell her that I might want to go much further with "fixing" my by now obvious gender issue than I've previously thought. I didn't need to say much until she said it might be good idea to get my sperm count checked, find out how expensive it is to freeze some and go for it so there's at least this thing backed up. Honestly I think it would be great, then I could perhaps explore a bit more freely and not feel constantly scared about frying my nuts on the side... I mean what else can I expect to happen, I ain't no scientist or a doctor, I might very well already be boiling eggs so to speak. Besides I have a reason so suspect my fertility for other reasons, I just haven't ever got this checked.

Right now the point is that I will keep going as I am, it feels right and I'm enjoying it mostly, not not do anything would probably just lead to more anxiety and frustration and the news is, I'm starting to accept the idea that I might end up transitioning at some point... I just can't tell yet, heck I barely know what I'm going to do day after tomorrow. Self search continues.

[Stevenator.]

I once entered a photography exhibit several years back. My photo sold within the first few minutes of the exhibition being opened. That made me feel good. 

I’m going to a guitar jam tomorrow at a local bar with a bunch of guys I’ve seen play in bands around town. They get together once a week with their acoustics. They’ve been trying to get me out for a few months now. I’m looking fwd to it, but nervous too. I’ve never jammed with anyone else before, much less a group. 

I did a quick search last night on the Finnish language, thinking about you. They did a quick tour of the country. It looks beautiful. But the language is perplexing, to say the least. Very differently structured than English. 

But, I wanted to congratulate you on this so-called milestone. Little steps like this are important, even if you don’t know what’s over the next hill. It’s so great that you have her support. Lean on her. You’ll definitely appreciate that she’s there for you down the road. 

While I’m on a full dose, I don’t “plan” on transitioning, either. Sometimes I think it’s inevitable, though. I really don’t have any ‘plans’ to socially transition, though I sure as hell want the body & hair, etc. 

Take one day at a time and keep on the path. Each month brings cool changes.  I feel like you’re destined for this, at least it seems like you are. It sure feels great every single day. Best of luck to you, DiDi. I’m sure pulling for you!

[MsMichelle]

My gf got excited about doing a makeup job on me.... I don't think anyone has ever made me this pretty. I love her, she's an angel.

What do you think, would I pass? I would some time loooove to go out like this.

Your gorgeous hun, go out and have fun!!!!

Thanks Michelle. Perhaps I should when there's a good chance. All I miss around here is some like minded friends to go out with.

I would go with you if we lived close, we would have a blast!!!! I bet guys would be after you, you look very sexy. Tell your GF she did an awesome job hun!!!

[Heaven's Night]

There's something wrong with the quotes again... I tried to reply and my message disappeared? Better post without quoting I guess.

[Heaven's Night]

I said I wouldn't post pics until I have something to update about... Perhaps this is worth it. My nipps have got so much new puffiness in the mornings I thought to snap a pic.

[BillieJean17]

I said I wouldn't post pics until I have something to update about... Perhaps this is worth it. My nipps have got so much new puffiness in the mornings I thought to snap a pic.

Didi, those are lovely.  Congratulations of your latest "development."  Keep at it.  BJ

[Alexis P]

I said I wouldn't post pics until I have something to update about... Perhaps this is worth it. My nipps have got so much new puffiness in the mornings I thought to snap a pic.

Hello-DiDi (pun intended)

Your nipple and areola looks cute and adorable! <3

Wish you the best with your future updates! (And with the new year)

- Alexis

[Happyme]

Oh my how lovely!
What a great way to start the new year Didi.
I wish you happiness and lots of growth in 2021
Bobbi

[Heaven's Night]

Thanks BillyJean, you bet I will. Thanks Alexis, I will sure keep posting here... Probably sooner than later and more than less. Hey Bobbi, by the way things are going, I'm expecting next year to be amazing time. Wish you all the best too. <3

To update a bit, I am not going to slow down, I will keep up continuous routine with the pm, but cycle the dose instead of taking breaks. I'm now on day 18 doing 2000mg/day, in few days I'll drop it down to 1k and then up again after a week. My payday is coming and I might do some purchases. FG and MSM are on the list as some clothes and perhaps some new toys to have fun with. 

I seem to be going through a major growth spurt, no noogling for few days now and my boobs are still sore and puffy, they feel heavy, I just know they're growing, there's no way around it. Hopefully this development keeps on going and I'll fill the E cups soon. Would be amazing to have one cup more when the spring comes.

Then another thing to mention is that I'm starting to feel very comfortable with the way things are going. That means to keep doing what I'm doing. I don't plan to make a big noise out of anything, but to explore my female side more deeply, possibly make back up plans for the chance of having kids one day, I know that would make me feel much more at ease. I may start to "come out" to certain close friends when it feels right. There's people who deserve to know at some point. Family may stay as oblivious as they are, I don't want to poke that hornets nest just yet. Perhaps if my body chances so much it becomes inevitable, but otherwise I wont utter a word. Perhaps to my brother I might speak to.