[bryony]

Hi everyone. ...This is the nicest board I’ve had the privilege of reading!

Hi doodlebug! (I'm guessing with a name like that you must be British?)

I’m in my early forties, happily married for 20 years with 2 kids I love dearly. I’ve always thought about transitioning but by the time I knew it was a real possibility, I was already married and I now feel obligated to remain as I am for the sake of my wife and kids.

Bravo! A kindred spirit!

Even though I’m new here on Breast Nexus, I’m not trying to discover myself as some are. I accept myself as I am somewhere closer to the middle of the male female continuum and I know for sure that I want to get as close to feminine as I can in the way I look and dress… but still come off as a biological male to those who know me as well as strangers on the street. I’m a girl at heart in a boy wrapper and that’s the way it’s going to stay. I’m not sickened and repulsed by the boy side but, if I could fully express the inner girl without consequences, I certainly would.

I know what you mean, and I'm a way along in the chest department. You are going to have to come clean with your kids when they start to show (I take it your wife is in on this? If not you need her buy-in). At 60, it might be a bit easier for me to sigh and admit to old man's moobs. You also won't be able to go bare chested on the beach or swim any more. Does that matter? Are your kids past beach holiday ages?

...About a week ago, I started taking a low dose (320ish daily) of PM. I can’t wait to get going on the PM.

That first PM doesn't make sense. Did you mean SP?

The breast enlargement will of course be very welcome but I’m even more anxious to see how it affects me mentally. I’m hoping for an easing of all the desires I have as some of you have indicated it has done for you. It’s a win win either way though.

Couple of things.
1. Chances are high that you will get beneficial effects, but watch out for an increase in anxiety. This is supposed to happen to people with normally masculinised brains at the foetal stage. (For more on this, search for Dr Ann Vitale) If you get no effect at all, it may be that you need a higher dose. I didn't get any benefit until I was on 3g / day.
2. Steer clear of PM after 8 in the evening. I and at least one other here have experienced back pain through taking it late at night. I got it regularly until I hit on the 8pm curfew.

Bear in mind that I don't get any mental benefits unless I take enough to keep my breasts growing. Once you get the benefits, it's hard, nay impossible in my case to give them up. Which means I'm here until Tanner Stage 4. So, you need to look at the size of the breasts in your immediate family and think what they will look like on you, taking into account that your larger rib cage will hide them to an extent. Breast reduction is an option, I suppose, though it scares the hell out of me.

Again, your wife needs to understand this. If you get her buy-in and she accepts that a better temperament comes with the cost of a larger chest, that will save a lot of upset down the line.

I’m feeling comfortable enough to start posting once in a while so maybe you’ll see me more often. There was / is so much for me to learn when I first got here but at least I understand the acronyms now and have a general understanding of what they all do. I appreciate all of you and feel like I’ve found a place that that feels a lot like home. I hope to get to know all of you better in the months to come.

Me too!

Good luck,

Bryony