Hi everyone. I’ve been observing (not lurking) for a couple weeks now. I posted an intro where those belong but I wanted to do the same here because this is where I hang out most of the time. Also, I wanted to say thank you to so many of you. Pansy-Mae, Flamesabers, AbiDrew85, MonicaT, sfem, SarahSchilling, Lenneth, KellyG, Alexis, Bryony, Doll, PattiJT, JMT, Aleah, Mandy88, Dargona and especially Misty0732 – there are others I’ve missed I’m sure but you all have helped me without even knowing it. I’m so grateful for all the time each of you has put into your thoughtful posts and for the way you treat others here. This is the nicest board I’ve had the privilege of reading!
I’m in my early forties, happily married for 20 years with 2 kids I love dearly. I’ve always thought about transitioning but by the time I knew it was a real possibility, I was already married and I now feel obligated to remain as I am for the sake of my wife and kids. Even though I’m new here on Breast Nexus, I’m not trying to discover myself as some are. I accept myself as I am somewhere closer to the middle of the male female continuum and I know for sure that I want to get as close to feminine as I can in the way I look and dress… but still come off as a biological male to those who know me as well as strangers on the street. I’m a girl at heart in a boy wrapper and that’s the way it’s going to stay. I’m not sickened and repulsed by the boy side but, if I could fully express the inner girl without consequences, I certainly would.
So I ordered a bottle of PM from Amazon on the 9th but it still hasn’t arrived darn it! It supposedly left Taiwan on Tuesday so who knows when it will get to my house. I ordered a NB on Wednesday and got it a few hours ago – if only they stayed that size when the suction was released! About a week ago, I started taking a low dose (320ish daily) of SP. I can’t wait to get going on the PM. The breast enlargement will of course be very welcome but I’m even more anxious to see how it affects me mentally. I’m hoping for an easing of all the desires I have as some of you have indicated it has done for you. It’s a win win either way though.
I’m feeling comfortable enough to start posting once in a while so maybe you’ll see me more often. There was / is so much for me to learn when I first got here but at least I understand the acronyms now and have a general understanding of what they all do. I appreciate all of you and feel like I’ve found a place that that feels a lot like home. I hope to get to know all of you better in the months to come.
(23-02-2013, 01:15 AM)doodlebug2055 Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone. ...This is the nicest board I’ve had the privilege of reading!
Hi doodlebug! (I'm guessing with a name like that you must be British?)
Quote:I’m in my early forties, happily married for 20 years with 2 kids I love dearly. I’ve always thought about transitioning but by the time I knew it was a real possibility, I was already married and I now feel obligated to remain as I am for the sake of my wife and kids.
Bravo! A kindred spirit!
Quote:Even though I’m new here on Breast Nexus, I’m not trying to discover myself as some are. I accept myself as I am somewhere closer to the middle of the male female continuum and I know for sure that I want to get as close to feminine as I can in the way I look and dress… but still come off as a biological male to those who know me as well as strangers on the street. I’m a girl at heart in a boy wrapper and that’s the way it’s going to stay. I’m not sickened and repulsed by the boy side but, if I could fully express the inner girl without consequences, I certainly would.
I know what you mean, and I'm a way along in the chest department. You are going to have to come clean with your kids when they start to show (I take it your wife is in on this? If not you need her buy-in). At 60, it might be a bit easier for me to sigh and admit to old man's moobs. You also won't be able to go bare chested on the beach or swim any more. Does that matter? Are your kids past beach holiday ages?
Quote:
...About a week ago, I started taking a low dose (320ish daily) of PM. I can’t wait to get going on the PM.
That first PM doesn't make sense. Did you mean SP?
Quote:The breast enlargement will of course be very welcome but I’m even more anxious to see how it affects me mentally. I’m hoping for an easing of all the desires I have as some of you have indicated it has done for you. It’s a win win either way though.
Couple of things.
1. Chances are high that you will get beneficial effects, but watch out for an increase in anxiety. This is supposed to happen to people with normally masculinised brains at the foetal stage. (For more on this, search for Dr Ann Vitale) If you get no effect at all, it may be that you need a higher dose. I didn't get any benefit until I was on 3g / day.
2. Steer clear of PM after 8 in the evening. I and at least one other here have experienced back pain through taking it late at night. I got it regularly until I hit on the 8pm curfew.
Bear in mind that I don't get any mental benefits unless I take enough to keep my breasts growing. Once you get the benefits, it's hard, nay impossible in my case to give them up. Which means I'm here until Tanner Stage 4. So, you need to look at the size of the breasts in your immediate family and think what they will look like on you, taking into account that your larger rib cage will hide them to an extent. Breast reduction is an option, I suppose, though it scares the hell out of me.
Again, your wife needs to understand this. If you get her buy-in and she accepts that a better temperament comes with the cost of a larger chest, that will save a lot of upset down the line.
Quote:I’m feeling comfortable enough to start posting once in a while so maybe you’ll see me more often. There was / is so much for me to learn when I first got here but at least I understand the acronyms now and have a general understanding of what they all do. I appreciate all of you and feel like I’ve found a place that that feels a lot like home. I hope to get to know all of you better in the months to come.
Me too!
Good luck,
Bryony
(23-02-2013, 01:38 AM)bryony Wrote: [ -> ]2. Steer clear of PM after 8 in the evening. I and at least one other here have experienced back pain through taking it late at night. I got it regularly until I hit on the 8pm curfew.
Bryony, I've seen you say this numerous times, but what time do you go to bed? My bed time varies depending on the shift I am working. E.g., a month ago, I was going to bed at 9 at night because I had to get up at 3:30 in the morning. Now, I go to bed around 8:00 in the morning and get up around 3:00 in the afternoon. In another 2 months, I will be going to bed around 1:00 in the morning and getting up around 9:00 in the morning. Knowing how many hours before bed time would be most helpful. You have said the effects of PM seem to last about 3 hours for you. Is it safe to assume you go to bed around 11?
(23-02-2013, 02:29 AM)MonikaT Wrote: [ -> ]Is it safe to assume you go to bed around 11?
usually later, but I want to allow for the possibility. It may not affect you the same way, but I'd leave at least 3 hrs after the last dose before you go to bed just to be on the safe side.
Having said that, on the (rare now, thankfully) occasion that I wake in the night with a panic attack, if I take one it gets me back to sleep. In that case, a stiff back the next day is worth it!
B.
I hope I'm not hyjacking your thread but I just realized I was having these terrible panic attacks and could never figure out why. However ever since I have started to take pm they seem to have stopped.
Doodlebug,
I know exactly what you mean about the welcoming atmosphere on these boards. I feel very much the same way.
I'm sorry your PM order is taking so long. I've ordered 3 times from Amazon and always got it with 3 or 4 days (my wife is on PM now, too, but for menopausal symptoms). I do know that there is more than one vendor on Amazon (I picked the one that ships from NY).
Did you see this post from "newgirlies"? It might be a way to get started quicker.
http://www.breastnexus.com/showthread.php?tid=14669
Good luck and keep us informed of your progress!
Misty
(23-02-2013, 01:15 AM)doodlebug2055 Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone. I’ve been observing (not lurking) for a couple weeks now. I posted an intro where those belong but I wanted to do the same here because this is where I hang out most of the time. Also, I wanted to say thank you to so many of you. Pansy-Mae, Flamesabers, AbiDrew85, MonicaT, sfem, SarahSchilling, Lenneth, KellyG, Alexis, Bryony, Doll, PattiJT, JMT, Aleah, Mandy88, Dargona and especially Misty0732 – there are others I’ve missed I’m sure but you all have helped me without even knowing it. I’m so grateful for all the time each of you has put into your thoughtful posts and for the way you treat others here. This is the nicest board I’ve had the privilege of reading!
Hello doodlebug.
It's good to hear you really enjoy being a member of this board. I feel the same way. It's hard for me to imagine trying to pursue NBE without all the help and support I've received on this board over the last 11 months.
(23-02-2013, 12:34 PM)bryony Wrote: [ -> ]Having said that, on the (rare now, thankfully) occasion that I wake in the night with a panic attack, if I take one it gets me back to sleep. In that case, a stiff back the next day is worth it!
I've had the opposite experience with using pm for brain rewiring. For me, most of the time the deterioration of brain rewiring is gradual instead of abrupt and immediate. Also, I don't take my pm capsules the exact same time each day. I wonder if differences in body chemistry could account for this? Or maybe it's because the PABA I take helps to extend the half-life of pm?
(23-02-2013, 06:59 PM)flamesabers Wrote: [ -> ] (23-02-2013, 12:34 PM)bryony Wrote: [ -> ]Having said that, on the (rare now, thankfully) occasion that I wake in the night with a panic attack, if I take one it gets me back to sleep. In that case, a stiff back the next day is worth it!
I've had the opposite experience with using pm for brain rewiring.
Hi flamesabers,
I'm confused .... why opposite? I must have missed something!
B.
(23-02-2013, 07:19 PM)bryony Wrote: [ -> ] (23-02-2013, 06:59 PM)flamesabers Wrote: [ -> ] (23-02-2013, 12:34 PM)bryony Wrote: [ -> ]Having said that, on the (rare now, thankfully) occasion that I wake in the night with a panic attack, if I take one it gets me back to sleep. In that case, a stiff back the next day is worth it!
I've had the opposite experience with using pm for brain rewiring.
Hi flamesabers,
I'm confused .... why opposite? I must have missed something!
B.
I was referring to how we react when we've gone too long with taking a pm capsule, not the benefits of brain rewiring. No doubt we both enjoy the brain rewiring effects.
You said you experience panic attacks after going too long without pm, whether with me it's more of a gradual decline. In other words, it sounds like you have a much more immediate response to the ingestion or depletion of pm in your body, while I have a much slower response. I hope this clears up your confusion.
I'm normally pretty tech savy but I can't figure out how to quote a post and respond to comments or answer questions one by one. I found the quote button but when I add my response, it looks like I added text to the other persons comments. I need to figure this out ASAP, can someone help me?