You were not rambling at all, it is enlightening and relieving to read your and other's experiences. It's almost like therapy, knowing there are others out there with similar problems. It makes you feel you're not alone, that you are not some weirdo out in the internet having strange thoughts.
Jamie, I do not know the full extent of your predicament, however, I'd like to give you some advice if you allow me.
I lived with a narcissistic mother for 27 years, the relationship got so toxic that I had to leave for fear of doing something I'd regret for the rest of my life; it was so bad that it eclipsed my dysphoria for almost a decade, and I needed 4 years of therapy after she passed away to untangle the depressed mess I'd become.
If there is something I learned from that experience is that your family will not live your life for you, only you can do it, they are not responsible for your happiness, you are. In my case, the only thing that allowed the situation to improve was me leaving. I moved out of her house, to another country, putting 1000 miles between us (literally). It was the best decision I've ever made in my life. I made friends, forged a career, heck I even got fitter!.
The bottom line is... never leave your happiness in someone else's hands. And remember, regardless of what your family thinks, you are worthy of love, you can be loved, you will be loved, but the first person that needs to love you is yourself
Happy New Year everyone!!!