I felt a lot like that story you linked every day before I came to my conclusion, as in, being trapped in a day to day rut in which others moved on and forward while I was always ever stagnant, and I couldn't even (and still honestly can't) tell people why.
I still often think--if I do or say nothing, I can stay with them longer. If I do something though, if I speak up, I can have a new life, the one I wanted, but at the cost of losing everything I've ever known. Fortunately for me I have no wife, no kids, but I do have family and parents. I live with and so close to many of them. If they found out, if I told them, I assume that I will be forced to start a new life either way.
There's no way that my family would understand, you see. They're all so very outspoken against trans, gay, etc. Only my brother might be semi-understanding of it, as he's the most open minded one of them, but I still feel it'd cause a massive schism between us. Perhaps if my family knew how much I suffered inside it wouldn't be as bad as I imagine it. Perhaps it'd be worse and they'd try to force me away from the path I want rather than simply disowning me. I'd not accept that fate.
Regardless--it hurts. It hurts a lot to think about how I'll be hurting them if they find out. It hurts to think that the people that birthed and raised me don't have truly unconditional love. It's just how it is though. People aren't perfect. Parents aren't perfect. Unfortunately for me they, my close family and loved ones, have hurt and hindered me without realizing it. They made me retreat into myself, lock myself away. They made me wait so long to start living. They made me doubt and demonize myself for years and years.
I did realize after two years of major stress leading up to a seizure however, that I had to change. I needed to live as I wanted. And I'll continue down this path because that's what I know I need. That's what I have resolved to do. For me, I've been nothing but way happier and healthier working towards the life I want than I ever was suffering through the life that was forced upon me. For you though, as always, I can only wish you the best of luck in finding your answers and your resolve.
I still often think--if I do or say nothing, I can stay with them longer. If I do something though, if I speak up, I can have a new life, the one I wanted, but at the cost of losing everything I've ever known. Fortunately for me I have no wife, no kids, but I do have family and parents. I live with and so close to many of them. If they found out, if I told them, I assume that I will be forced to start a new life either way.
There's no way that my family would understand, you see. They're all so very outspoken against trans, gay, etc. Only my brother might be semi-understanding of it, as he's the most open minded one of them, but I still feel it'd cause a massive schism between us. Perhaps if my family knew how much I suffered inside it wouldn't be as bad as I imagine it. Perhaps it'd be worse and they'd try to force me away from the path I want rather than simply disowning me. I'd not accept that fate.
Regardless--it hurts. It hurts a lot to think about how I'll be hurting them if they find out. It hurts to think that the people that birthed and raised me don't have truly unconditional love. It's just how it is though. People aren't perfect. Parents aren't perfect. Unfortunately for me they, my close family and loved ones, have hurt and hindered me without realizing it. They made me retreat into myself, lock myself away. They made me wait so long to start living. They made me doubt and demonize myself for years and years.
I did realize after two years of major stress leading up to a seizure however, that I had to change. I needed to live as I wanted. And I'll continue down this path because that's what I know I need. That's what I have resolved to do. For me, I've been nothing but way happier and healthier working towards the life I want than I ever was suffering through the life that was forced upon me. For you though, as always, I can only wish you the best of luck in finding your answers and your resolve.