[HelloDiDi]

Hi Didi and friends, 

Sorry for not being around so much, I became a grandparent for the time recently so I've been a bit like " moons over my hammy " with the little guy. 

I'm not sure what I can offer in the way of advice concerning transition, but here goes it. Originally when I joined BN (aug' 2013) my goal was to grow past a B or C cup. Early on I achieved that goal, and within 2 years of using herbs I decided to keep things moving down the road and took DIY hormones. Oh I tried to get on HRT but was rebuked by an a-hole of an endocrinologist, in fact he suggested I get my breasts removed. He sent me on my way telling me to come back in a year because he didn't accept my dysphoria. Demoralized I found a diy HRT source, I did this for a year. I did come back a year later only to be rebuked a second time. I said adios to that fuck tard and proceeded to find another trans friendly doctor...which took another year. Each step in my transition has been met with great difficulty, I've documented most of this journey in my program thread. Most recently I've been jumping through hoops concerning getting an Orchiectomy, currently awaiting an approval from insurance...its been almost 2 years since I brought the topic up to my gender doc #2, needless to say I'm on my 3rd gender doctor. When someone spouts off on getting on HRT on the first visit I am happy for them, though secretly I want to smash them . 

Didi I hope you have a less difficult time finding the proper trans care than I. I'm so happy you've found acceptance with your loved ones. Transition and the family dynamic can be fraught with intolerance, hate or worse, however..when you have a loving (and accepting) family it goes much easier. Speaking from experience, NBE took me as far as it could..the next logical step (for me and many before me) was to go on HRT. I realized herbs just weren't enough anymore...hey things change. I remember saying I'd never go on HRT in the first place, and look what happened. I believe Didi has faced this crossroad too and is taking it head on. Once we've accepted transition in our life we realize that we are correcting what nature got wrong in the first place, whether it be young or old the call to further oneself is too great to ignore. Didi, you have people who care for your well being a great deal here at BN. And to those friends I say trust in Didi making her decision to further herself...it wasn't easy. Why some people don't stay on at BN after going on HRT is anybody's guess, but hey I'm still here...granted, erratic at times.

I do have something I've been working on to share that's truly wonderful, well for some who want to do NBE and keep the libido active. It won't increase T, and it may prevent shrinkage down below, stay tuned. I hope to reconnect with friends real soon. 

Oh wow, congratulations, no wonder you've been offline for a while, that is so awesome!!! Children are a blessing, aren't they. <3 <3 So happy for you.

Right now I'm expecting a call from the local hospital, I will book a doctor today, ask them right away if they have a doctor who's familiar with trans patients just in case they do have someone who's in the know to a degree... Likely not, but it wont hurt to ask. There's bunch of things I want to deal all in one go, trans clinic referral, a little talk about possibility of DIY hrt, I will tell about my herbal stuff and plans and so on. Then ask to renew my asthma meds and ask to prescribe some decent nicotine patches, something stronger than what they sell over the counter. As I really badly want to get rid of smoking, doing ok job on it already. Half of what I did before or even slightly less. That one bag of tobacco has lasted on me for almost a week, I used to empty that in less than two days. And to top it off, I will ask to book lab time to check my blood for everything. Its been years since I did that and I really want to know what's going on with my hormones.

That's interesting story, not that encouraging about the doctors, but that is to be expected, most of them are almost completely oblivious on how to deal with trans patients.

Yes, I'm definitely sitting at the crossroads about my transition and I'm ready to take the next step. I've waited and experimented enough to know what estrogens do to me, plant based or otherwise.... And I'm not the kind to sit and wait for the slow gears of the system to turn in my favor if there is another way. There's plenty of people in Finland on some sort of DIY hormone therapy, some have went through private doctors, some completely on their own. One interesting case I know about, (s)he's very much of and oddball, non binary, but looks a lot like a guy these days, born female, she got her hrt (T) from a private doctor, pretty much taught the doc what to prescribe and why and got hers like that. Another I know of got E patches from Aphrodite's shop without problems, afaik she's completely on her own with it...

The point being that I wont sit idle or go on with herbs only forever, I'm near the end of that road and I think I'm ready to jump the hrt bandwagon. I have all the time in the world to learn this inside and out, been on the lookout for interesting science to read and found some already. Not to mention everything here on BN.

So I guess I'm sort of acting in haste, but not diving into dark waters without poking around at first. The haste here being that I have no choice, I wont suffer a minute more when I know there is a 'cure' out there and its not any more expensive than the herbs are. My idea is this, go talk with a doc, get blood work done to establish a baseline on where I am right now, get on hrt once my pm stash runs out and/or when I know enough on how to proceed, go to the trans clinic asap and do everything I can to make the process as shift and painless as possible. When the time comes, go on 'official' govt backed (nearly free) hrt...