[GamerGurl]

@Dianna1395
My insurance actually covers my therapy, so I pay nothing out of pocket for that.



I spoke to my therapist today, but she's not really of much help. After every therapy session, she ends it with "Did what we talk about today seem to help" And recently we completed a "Plan of service" and she explained to me that if I don't seem like I'm making any progress, then there's no point in me being a client.

It makes me feel like she wants to get rid of me. My problems are too much even for a professional.

Hi, Gamer,
I don't think it's your issues.
It sounds like you have a person pushing an agenda. "Talk therapy" maybe, she's just trying to "yes" you to death - hence the, "do you feel better, little girl (boy)?" at the end.
Time to find a therapist and stop talking to a bureaucrat. (Not the first term that came to mind.)

I'd ask what is the "plan of service." If it's not leading to transition, she's selling you en mala fide (in bad faith - legally, voids all contracts, makes it impossible to negotiate in good faith.) Transition may not be your goal, but if the contract doesn't lead that direction, and she isn't discussing the actual treatment of the problem - only discussing how to "manage symptoms" - that's, "Hey, you've got a severed artery, let's grab a band-aid!"
She's going the wrong direction, even if you only want breasts and a beard. Because she sounds like she's focusing on the beard, first and foremost, and you've already GOT that... It's what's missing.

When they asked Michelangelo how he made his sculptures, how he could see the statue in the stone, he replied, "The statue was always there. I simply removed the stone that didn't belong." Same process, we're making a work of art, and we need to mostly remove the extras. We have the foundation, the beauty is always there, but it's actually more about removing and simplifying. Adding in hormones is sort of the hammer and chisel and files used to make the beautiful statue emerge.

Sounds like she's not on that page. Guess she's an art critic? (A critic is someone who knows the way, but cannot drive the car.)

-Dianna

Wonderfully said, thank you for your input
The "Plan of Service" just seemed like a contract where I agree to make progress
Unfortunately I've been to all three of the available therapists in my area. 1st one was a complete joke who takes 2 months to get in with and only wants to talk about original cause for each of my feelings. I already know these answers.
2nd therapist didn't know jack sh*t about GD and only wanted to discuss my parenting. (Which I do a fine job of)
My current therapist seems like a newbie fresh out of school who sounds like a coddling nanny for the mentally challenged. She congratulates me for coming to my own conclusions like it was some impossible task. (;一_一)

Truthfully, I would like the beard gone, I'd like all my body hair to just go away, never to return. I would like to fully transition eventually, but I know there is little hope of that happening at my age.(29) Testosterone has long since destroyed me. I have come to realize that SRS is a joke and a lie, so I have come to terms with my genitalia. I would like nothing more than to be on the outside,(for the most part) what I feel on the inside. When I first arrived here on BN, my original plan was to use herbal NBE to simply induce a bit of gyno. During the few years I've been here (half of that time spent lurking as a guest) I have been on a journey of self discovery and acceptance, aided by the information presented by this forum and all of you. The hardest part for me thus far, was coming out of the closet to myself. I know I have a long and bumpy trail ahead of me, but it beats taking the highway to misery.

I apologize for not quoting everyone that I am responding to in my posts, I read and value everyone's input, and I am thankful for each of you and this wonderful community of which you've all made so great!