[HelloDiDi]

I often wish I shared your frustrations of constantly having to buy new bras! Haha. I do desperately wish I was growing at such a rate! While I’m sure it’s a royal pain to do so, it must be very rewarding personally! I can only imagine what a boost to your self-confidence that must be! 

Every day I wake up and look in the mirror to see if I’ve grown any overnight and sadly sigh and slink away.  Then I check BN only to find out that you had to buy ‘another bra’!! Can you sense my jealousy from 5,000 miles away?!! Haha 

I only jest here but truly your rate of growth is astounding and I hope you realize just how lucky you are. I know I’m not the only one who is amazed and slightly jealous of rate of success. May we all do half as good as you and I’m hoping I’ll catch up to you soon! 

I hope you have a great week ahead!

Awwwh, thanks. 

It is kinda annoying, the moment I fit into some rather new favourite, it soon starts to become annoyingly tight or straps dig in or boobs escape to the armpit due to underwire being too narrow. And it costs money. I haven't had the chance to outwear any bra I've had, I think the longest lived one was the City Chic 40DD which had the leopard print on it? I bought it so early as a goal bra and then ended up using it for quite a long time. Since then its been a speed run through size chart.

I'm a bit biased to speak about confidence right now, I'm just recovering from a severe dysphoria spiral which has lasted for days. I'm thankful I didn't lash out here to anyone and say nasty things I would later regret. This battle against extreme dysphoria is really taking its toll on me. Getting better again, having some time off of most online activity is helping, I have mostly just been chatting with my dear Melissa. She's such a support pillar and amazing partner, I wish we lived closer by so it would be easier to meet up. What ever it takes though, I'm ready, she's gem worth it all. ^_^

Its ironic about jealousy and how it works, I have a lot of this issue too, its dysphoria driven mostly and not much about boobs any more. I try to rather adore than feel jealous, some times it works, some times it doesn't.  Yes I am very lucky with boob growing business, but the thing is that I'm using the magic that is known to work for most and I'll keep on updating about it. Next big update will likely be coming around Halloween I think. I'm having a little break from it and there's likely not much to update about for a while.... Next one is of course completely filling my new bra and that is not worlds away it seems. I will likely write more extensive review on it, so far I have only positive things to say.

[Stevenator_]

I sincerely hope the time spent offline recharges your soul. Sometimes a break is needed because more often than not, on-line activities magnify misconceptions. It’s actually almost quite criminal the way it happens. 

Maybe some Forest Therapy as a walk in the woods will help? Time spent in nature does wonders for the soul. Even a long walk in a city park or an exercise bike might help. Anything to get the blood pumping and breathing fresh air will certainly rejuvenate you. I personally lean towards time spent in nature, even if it’s just sitting and meditating. 

Lastly, do not be afraid to talk to your professional to see if a different medication program might help. Sometimes things can be off our radar that they might be able to provide a different avenue of support. 

Speaking of which. The wife and I are going to explore a new walking trail we just learned about that runs along beside our local river. I’m hoping that’ll help break my funk. 

Best of luck to you going fwd, and you listen to Mel. I sense that she deeply cares for you very much. 

Take care 

[HelloDiDi]

I sincerely hope the time spent offline recharges your soul. Sometimes a break is needed because more often than not, in-line activities magnify misconceptions. It’s actually almost quite criminal the way it happens. 

Maybe some Forest Therapy as a walk in the woods will help? Time spent in nature does wonders for the soul. Even a long walk in a city park or an exercise bike will help. Anything to get the blood pumping and breathing fresh air will rejuvenate you. I personally lean towards time spent in nature, even if it’s just sitting and meditating. 

Lastly, do not be afraid to talk to your professional to see if a different medication program might help. Sometimes things can be off our radar that they might be able to provide a different avenue of support. 

Speaking of which. The wife and I are going to explore a new walking trail we just learned about that rubs along beside our local river. I’m hoping that’ll help break my funk. 

Best of luck to you going fwd, and you listen to Mel. I sense that she deeply cares for you very much. 

Take care 

I'm so much online because I have no life... I have very little going on for myself and I have on purpose taken time off of almost all and any responsibilities. I'm too depressed and exhausted for much anything. I can barely deal with my transition and even that is hard. Seems that tomorrow will be nice dry day so I guess I'll try to go for a decent walk. I say try because on a lot of days I just can't.

There's nothing wrong with my HRT if that's what you thought about, I'm just at the process of tweaking my E levels as for some reason, I had dipped far lower than before and some more would be beneficial.

Melissa is one of the few real sparkles of joy in my life lately. Other than that its been quite bleak in many ways. A lot happens that I do not talk about in here. Like totally losing faith to cis men. Maybe I'll post about that more some time, its just rather dark subject to talk about. But I've been nothing but darkness lately anyway.

[HelloDiDi]

I need a break.... For at least few days. I've had a massive dysphoria spiral lasting fo days now. Depression, anxiety and pure self hatred are so much through the roof I need time off online stuff. I can't take it. I'm getting constantly triggered all over the place by everything. I'm not doing really well. I feel so disgusting and ugly. Worthless and inferior. I got to take time off to gather the pieces and put myself back together somehow. Feels like every attempt to fix my shitty confidence and alleviate my dysphoria is just going totally wrong. I feel so ugly.

Might take few days, a week, to the end of the month, I don't know but I just need to go for a while. To a safe bubble where I can pretend I'm alright. Talk to you soon.

[Mel87]

Its ok hun, you know where to reach me if you want to chat about anything really, I know your hurting really badly with everything. I find that isolation is one of the best methods I can do to really recharge and function just cause everything that hurts like this just becomes overbearing. I want you to know that this moment will go you will feel better soon and if a break is the means to that then do take a break.  

I'm planning a break myself soon from Halloween to about Christmas. Things definitely get busier around the holidays and with a upcoming job I can't possibly have this for a little while but I won't be giving up on NBE oh no I intend to come back with more results ^^

[HelloDiDi]

Day 480

I'm doing slightly better. I say slightly because I still need time off of almost everything... I'm afloat but not out of the water. The progesterone cream I ordered was delivered today, same Biovea I've had before but this time according to the new info, I'm applying straight on areolas and nipples. Once a day, about half a pump per boob or so, enough to have it easily absorb and not take ages. I'm wondering about what this will do along with Royal Jelly which is obviously doing what it says on the tin.

I took a picture the other day, showing new nice leggings I got. Yes you can see my panties through them. The picture surprised me, Have I lost something from my waist area or am I imagining it? Kinda looks a bit slimmer. Then another pic from yesterday, you can tell by my face that I'm not ok... But the thing is that I'm wearing my new bra and its not a flaunting one at all and yet my boobs look really nice. I guess I wont be needing flaunting bras to look nice any more, only if I really want to.

Anyway, I've had constant crying, breakdowns, dysphoria that goes on the level of physical pain. Its getting better and feels like today might be the first day in almost a week that I wont be crying and feeling like I my heart is going to stop. Its been Tanja and Melissa keeping me sane, awww the women of my life, what would I do without them.  

So yea, getting my mind back together. I hope this rut ends soon, its been painful.

[Crystal Amethyst]

Hi DiDi (Lara),

Have you been able to get out in nature? I like going for a walk were there are no people, just animals, birds and trees when I feel down. Sometimes I feel like I want to go out in the woods and sit on a log and cry for hours.

Wishing you good feelings,
Crystal

[HelloDiDi]

Hi DiDi (Lara),

Have you been able to get out in nature? I like going for a walk were there are no people, just animals, birds and trees when I feel down. Sometimes I feel like I want to go out in the woods and sit on a log and cry for hours.

Wishing you good feelings,
Crystal

There are fantastic trails all over the place in here.. Guess what, I have been planning to go for a decent walk since Monday... I haven't been able to exit the house. I have had that much anxiety and feeling depressed and completely unmotivated, no energy for anything. We had two days of amazing weather and I still couldn't go. I will try today for real as I'm feeling somewhat better unless I spiral down to hell again for some reason I'm trying to limit my exposure to anything triggering today and keep positive no matter what.

I could go walk down to the beach nearby, there are beautiful spots near the lake which would be really soothing... I try, I try every day.

[Stevenator_]

Is that a camel toe that I see ?? 



Thank you for checking in with us, Lara. Please know we all care for you and hope that you’re feeling better soon. 

[HelloDiDi]

Is that a camel toe that I see ?? 



Thank you for checking in with us, Lara. Please know we all care for you and hope that you’re feeling better soon. 

Umm.... Yea. Since starting HRT, the shape of stuff down there has dramatically changed and when I'm nicely tucked I tend to get a nice mound and.... Well what you see in the picture.   Honesty the changes are amazing, its like my body is trying its best to make things right. Also some skill in artistic tucking sure helps. I remember how surprising it was to notice like wow, I kinda look correct already. lol.

It seems like rain ruins my plans for a walk. I'll try again tomorrow, it should be dry in the afternoon. There's a really pretty scenic place at the lake nearby where I wish to go.