[Michellelala]

I've had likely one of the most depressed, suicidal and shitty days of my transition so far... But its weird how on these days something great happens. My mother today first time treated me as her daughter, also called me her daughter, didn't misgender me a single time. I had good time with her, first time opening about my issues, my needs and my plans. I never do this. First time in years and she treated me really nicely.

I thought to lighten up the mood, had some beers... And I thought to post a video link here for the first time ever. This is a short clip, playing with my boobs after a two hour noogle session. Discreet, I'm wearing the white HelloTitty shirt, but no bra. So yea, stuff kinda shows through a bit. I think this might give a better idea about what's going on with my breasts.

Little flash in the end of course... " alt="" title=""> <3

https://i.imgur.com/UcKkpLr.mp4

Wow!!!! Video is awesome, you look fabulous honey

[Michellelala]

I've had likely one of the most depressed, suicidal and shitty days of my transition so far... But its weird how on these days something great happens. My mother today first time treated me as her daughter, also called me her daughter, didn't misgender me a single time. I had good time with her, first time opening about my issues, my needs and my plans. I never do this. First time in years and she treated me really nicely.

I thought to lighten up the mood, had some beers... And I thought to post a video link here for the first time ever. This is a short clip, playing with my boobs after a two hour noogle session. Discreet, I'm wearing the white HelloTitty shirt, but no bra. So yea, stuff kinda shows through a bit. I think this might give a better idea about what's going on with my breasts.

Little flash in the end of course... " alt="" title=""> <3

https://i.imgur.com/UcKkpLr.mp4

Wow!!!! Video is awesome, you look fabulous honey

So good to hear your mom is good with you, warms my heart

[HelloDiDi]

Thanks Michelle. <3

Its kinda funny to upload video links and what not... My pics are the most lewd ones here, others do better job at posting consistent stuff. I should do that too, but I'm always just snapping away what ever. The video came out nice, pictures don't always tell everything.

And my mother, she's been nothing short of amazing lately! I thought it would be a long tedious battle of wills with her, but she's making a total turn with her attitude and I love it. My relationship to her has been quite troubled for a very long time, I'm talking decades. Somehow I have a feeling that me and her may become much closer now that she's accepting me being her daughter. Next thing is for her to get over my name and start using my new one.

[Kay]

Hello DiDi,

I am another who liked your video. And it's very nice to have the support of your Mom. Sorry that you had a bad day. I love reading your posts!

Kay

[HelloDiDi]

Hello DiDi,

I am another who liked your video. And it's very nice to have the support of your Mom. Sorry that you had a bad day. I love reading your posts!

Kay

Oh its been way nicer day today... I think I'm over the rut I had going on. Most likely the DHEA messed me up pretty good. Today has been nice, really awesome chats, I totally passed to strangers in a dog park earlier. Been kinda peaceful and cheery all day without much problems. First day in likely a month that I didn't cry once.

I didn't update about boobs earlier, same trend going on. Bust and band measurements staying the same or fluctuating as normal, but breast volume keeps on climbing at crazy pace. I haven't seen this happen before and its been going on for nearly two weeks straight.

[HelloDiDi]

Funny post for today... My gf was digging up laundry and she found the cute purple bikini top I had tried once, that was year and half ago... It had some empty space back then. I thought I could wear it later on. Well, it appears I can't.

90(40) C cup bikini top is a frigging binder! So yea, this is what happens when you stuff H cup titties into a C cup... Nope, its not working too well. I'm kinda sad because I love the fabric and the color. If this was few sizes bigger it would be perfect. But nope, C cup is a binder for me these days... Just to make a point, another pic with my best fitting bra... What a difference.

[Happyme]

Hi Didi
Its clear that your cup runneth over
 
Bobbi
ah that we all had that problem.

[Michellelala]

Thanks Michelle. <3

Its kinda funny to upload video links and what not... My pics are the most lewd ones here, others do better job at posting consistent stuff. I should do that too, but I'm always just snapping away what ever. The video came out nice, pictures don't always tell everything.

And my mother, she's been nothing short of amazing lately! I thought it would be a long tedious battle of wills with her, but she's making a total turn with her attitude and I love it. My relationship to her has been quite troubled for a very long time, I'm talking decades. Somehow I have a feeling that me and her may become much closer now that she's accepting me being her daughter. Next thing is for her to get over my name and start using my new one.

Oh, I don't think your lewd at all honey. So nice you and your mom are getting along, you should go to lunch and shopping together thats always fun.

[HelloDiDi]

Thanks Michelle. <3

Its kinda funny to upload video links and what not... My pics are the most lewd ones here, others do better job at posting consistent stuff. I should do that too, but I'm always just snapping away what ever. The video came out nice, pictures don't always tell everything.

And my mother, she's been nothing short of amazing lately! I thought it would be a long tedious battle of wills with her, but she's making a total turn with her attitude and I love it. My relationship to her has been quite troubled for a very long time, I'm talking decades. Somehow I have a feeling that me and her may become much closer now that she's accepting me being her daughter. Next thing is for her to get over my name and start using my new one.

Oh, I don't think your lewd at all honey. So nice you and your mom are getting along, you should go to lunch and shopping together thats always fun.

Well, lewd or not is kinda subjective.

That would be a lot of fun. Its gonna be interesting, christmas and my 38th birthday are coming soon one after another... My mother always has something little as a gift, I have no clue what to expect this year. I keep on wishing for some nice girl stuff. Or perhaps I get my nails and hair done or something.

[HelloDiDi]

Day 142

I made a slight adjustment to my program, upped my dose from 4mg to 4,8mg. Going as usual, once every 3,5 days. It seems that the shorter cycle is working wonders on my mental state, but still the last about 24 hours has felt kinda meh. I decided to try slightly higher dose to see if it does what I'm expecting it to.

I noted this already when I was on sublingual Estrofem, when I upped my dose to 6mg/day, that's where the magic happened. Exact same effect happened on 6,8mg/0,16ml dose per five days, for the first three days. My dysphoria nearly completely melted away, mood swings got less frequent and it was much easier to feel feminine and generally happy. I've talked about it many times how hormonal changes of any kind seem to have rather extreme mental effect on me. Knowing that each individual has some times dramatic differences on what their optimal dosage/levels are considering both body changes and mood, I'm willing to try and see where my sweet spot is. This holds true to both herbs and conventional HRT. Big time YMMV on this. There's only few cases I've read on trans females getting extreme mental effects while others get some and few get nearly nothing. I'm on the extreme mood swing end of the spectrum and my mental health is the most important thing. Transitioning is such a pain some times and any less dysphoria and distress is a goal to strive for.

I may be in luck as my mother has become very supportive lately, she's now even using my chosen name finally which is super sweet of her. She said she's sorry to not be able to financially help my transition much but she promised to pay my labs on a private doctor, now I just need to find out the cost. Its so awesome as I can barely afford my meds but otherwise live hand to mouth all the time. Bless my mom. <3

Another change coming soon is phasing out cypro, I'm still on 12,5mg every other day, but starting now I will lower it to once every three days and by the end of the month quit entirely. I'm 99,99% certain my T levels are nuked to oblivion and likely I wont need an AA for now. I hope monotherapy works well on me. I will still keep popping reishi though as I have plenty of it left, at least DHT is totally out of the equation for sure. Nothing else is changed, calcium & magenesium as usual, D3 + MSM combo nightly and caynne & ginseng & lemon tincture twice a day.

Boobs have kept growing as usual and I got new record volume and bust some day back. Otherwise nothing's much changed for now. Oh heck I'm very soon five months in on HRT. Time flies.