Samantha's Program - Printable Version

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RE: Samantha's Program - Samantha Rogers - 09-11-2014

(09-11-2014, 01:44 PM)elainecd Wrote:  

(08-11-2014, 10:49 PM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  You want make marriage with me?
Lmao

Sammie that IS funny as hell....LOL.

Im still laughing about it, Elaine.

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RE: Samantha's Program - Samantha Rogers - 10-11-2014

I saw my endo last week to discuss the results from my latest bloodwork. I love going there since they always treat me as a woman and call me Sammie. My endo isthe sweetest man and I do love him so, but he scolded me this time.
Previously my E had been at around 100 and my T at 2.5 total and virtually zero free. I had been on 6mgs daily of E plus 500 mgs progesterone and still including 1500 to 2000 mgs of pm.
In the last month, wanting to raise E, I had gone up to 7 or 8 mgs daily of E, and figuring the Pm was occupying receptors better used by E, I had dropped back to 1000 to 1500 mgs of PM., and lately to just 1000 and somedays none at all.
Apparently this had an affect, since my E went sky high to over 500, while my T (previously held in check by PM, in my opinion) has begun to rise again and now sitsat a still low 14.
I was scolded for overdoing E and incurring high risk of bloodclotting.
So...
As of last week I am now, for the first time in four years, totally free of PM. To establish a baseline we have agreed on a strict routine of 4mgs E, plus progesterone and nothing else for the next three weeks. We will check results again then. I expect E to drop to a safer level but also expect T to rise more.
If T begins to rise too high he will add spiro to my regime.
So thats all.
Otherwise, life is good. I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am on the right course, and am now looking into electrolysis. My bodily hair is so slight as to be of no concern, and though facial hair is thin and grows slowly, I am weary of shaving and look forward to the improved skin appearance that follows removing follicles.
Friends, I am finally free of all doubt. My aim is full transition but without any exact timetable yet. It brings me fear still, but great joy.
On another matter...
After wrestling with different doubts for many months, I have concluded I am no longer "straight" in the conventional use of that term. I am either gay or, more accurately, I am a heterosexual woman.
I have no idea yet what this means for my marriage. My wife and I live like platonic gfs. But I am doubtful this will last, as it is not fair to either of us, nor are either of us fullfilled.
The future holds many unknowns for me. I admit to apprehension, but I have learned this year that our greatest fears prove paper tigers when we find the courage to confront them. I have also learned something about courage. Having spent much of my life in cowardice and fear, I have learned that courage is not the absence of fear but merely the willingness to ignore it.
Wish me luck.
Beyond here there be monsters...
Lol

Love you all

Hugs

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RE: Samantha's Program - pom19 - 10-11-2014

Good Luck Sammie. <3 POM[attachment=8321]

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RE: Samantha's Program - Samantha Rogers - 10-11-2014

Thanks, Pom! I expect to need all the luck I can get. Lol

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RE: Samantha's Program - elainecd - 10-11-2014

Amazing....gives me pause to wonder if and when I might have to get a doctor's supervision.
Although, I know my wife would never accept what I'm doing now, much less the direction you're going.

Sammie, good luck and godspeed.
love, E

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RE: Samantha's Program - myboobs - 10-11-2014

(10-11-2014, 07:04 PM)Samantha Rogers Wrote:  I saw my endo last week to discuss the results from my latest bloodwork. I love going there since they always treat me as a woman and call me Sammie. My endo isthe sweetest man and I do love him so, but he scolded me this time.
Previously my E had been at around 100 and my T at 2.5 total and virtually zero free. I had been on 6mgs daily of E plus 500 mgs progesterone and still including 1500 to 2000 mgs of pm.
In the last month, wanting to raise E, I had gone up to 7 or 8 mgs daily of E, and figuring the Pm was occupying receptors better used by E, I had dropped back to 1000 to 1500 mgs of PM., and lately to just 1000 and somedays none at all.
Apparently this had an affect, since my E went sky high to over 500, while my T (previously held in check by PM, in my opinion) has begun to rise again and now sitsat a still low 14.
I was scolded for overdoing E and incurring high risk of bloodclotting.
So...
As of last week I am now, for the first time in four years, totally free of PM. To establish a baseline we have agreed on a strict routine of 4mgs E, plus progesterone and nothing else for the next three weeks. We will check results again then. I expect E to drop to a safer level but also expect T to rise more.
If T begins to rise too high he will add spiro to my regime.
So thats all.
Otherwise, life is good. I know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am on the right course, and am now looking into electrolysis. My bodily hair is so slight as to be of no concern, and though facial hair is thin and grows slowly, I am weary of shaving and look forward to the improved skin appearance that follows removing follicles.
Friends, I am finally free of all doubt. My aim is full transition but without any exact timetable yet. It brings me fear still, but great joy.
On another matter...
After wrestling with different doubts for many months, I have concluded I am no longer "straight" in the conventional use of that term. I am either gay or, more accurately, I am a heterosexual woman.
I have no idea yet what this means for my marriage. My wife and I live like platonic gfs. But I am doubtful this will last, as it is not fair to either of us, nor are either of us fullfilled.
The future holds many unknowns for me. I admit to apprehension, but I have learned this year that our greatest fears prove paper tigers when we find the courage to confront them. I have also learned something about courage. Having spent much of my life in cowardice and fear, I have learned that courage is not the absence of fear but merely the willingness to ignore it.
Wish me luck.
Beyond here there be monsters...
Lol

Love you all

Hugs

Wishing you luck on your journey . You are showing courage that many lack for various reasons . We here follow your journey with great interest . I am sure we will see a beautiful and gregarious true Sammie to bloom

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RE: Samantha's Program - undecided - 10-11-2014

Good for you Sammie, i`m so happy for you.

I second to what elainecd says. I shudder to think whats going to happen when this all comes out.

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RE: Samantha's Program - Missed Miss - 11-11-2014

MUCH luck with your transition, Sammie!!!! I know it's like wishing for the moon, but I hope you have no pain at all!!

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RE: Samantha's Program - RobinMurphy - 11-11-2014

Hi Sammie. You are such a wonderful caring person you deserve to able to follow your heart. When I was with you at SCC I heard you say that were not going to transition, but the person I saw was so happy and content that I did not really believe you. I will wish you luck but I don't think your going to need it. I'm sure certain things will suck, but everyone can see you have the strenth to get past those things. Sammie your a force of nature I do not think that anything is going to stop you.

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RE: Samantha's Program - GoneGirl - 14-11-2014

Sammie, dear, it had to be. A transsexual cannot deny her core nature forever. It's best to accept and prepare for the inevitable. I learned that several months back and am happy for having made the decision to transition. I know you face obstacles that I don't. The biggest obstacle for any of us, though, is accepting ourselves. You have met that challenge and can now proceed to the business of restructuring of your life accordingly. Your loved ones have to be involved with the hope they understand and embrace you. I'm with you, sis, in anyway that I can help.

Love and hugs,
Clara

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