you seem very conflicted and as such, the last thing you should do is take a life changing medication, simply to go along with a fantasy. I cannot speak of Bountiful breasts, but if it is anything like PM, it's feminising effects are probably far greater, than simply producing a pair of boobs. Do you want a bigger bum, hips and thighs, together with femanine calves? Do you want a femanine stomach, where fat tends to settle below the navel. Do you want to become calmer, less interested in sex and more concerned about people and their emotions? Do you want to be seen as outside most male friendship? These are all effects of becoming femanised; unless these are outcomes you actively seek, you could be embarking on a disasterous course. Without oestrogene, no boobs; with it come all these other issues.
Last night I was groped by a transvestite, because she didn't beleive, my boobs were all me: could you happily inhabit a body, like that? Unless you want to become femanised, and feel ready to take on the challenges, that, that will bring, I would steer clear of attempting to grow breasts.
If, on the other hand, you have always felt, that you were born in the wrong gender, I would be the first to offer you support, for the sooner you confront that, the better, for your future happiness.
It reall comes down to whethe you are gay, or, do you feel you are, or should be a hetrosexual woman.
Admiring women and being attracted to them, could just be part of feeling you truly are a woman; women have great friendships and take great pleasure, in the company and friendship of other women and, as I go along the path of transition, I have truly come to understand that.