[Alexis]

Something very odd has been happening since i started using PM. first of all almost on any day i consider my self bi leaning more towards the gay side. Now for some reason every time when i start the pm after a short break i really feel like finding a girlfriend, something i don't ever think about when i'm off pm. is that wired or what? in other words it pretty much turns me straight as long as i keep on using it. i like girls much more. everything about them when i'm on pm. when im not. its back to who i really am.

[luk]

hmm sounds odd im w8ting for my pm atm customs take there time
ill let u know if it happens to me

[Chrissiegirl]

Our brain is a mix of genetic inheritence and the hormones that control it. I have been on PM for all but 2 years. I have no sense of maleness and am accepted, by some female friends, as a woman; we talk about our feelings and cry and hug each other, Could it be that , how you feel about women, is an empathy, rather than a lust thing?

[Alexis]

More empathy i think. well i've never had a girlfriend to begin with and i'm still a virgin too which strangely doesn't bother me at all with or without the pm in my system. I rarely fall in love. very rarely. for the most part i just want to be friends.

[beverley.rose]

I've just lost the post I was making (pressed the wrong button) so hopefully this will not show up as a duplicate posting.

Anyway - I'm not on PM, I'm on Fenugreek and Red Clover and I think it is affecting my mood. It is very subtle and I may just be fooling myself and it just might be coincidence. Anyway here is what is happening to me....

I've been a tranny for years and I'm happy enough with that, but in the past I have occasionally put it away for a period, sometimes months, sometimes years. I've never had to battle it, but since starting FG/RC I have become more reluctant to be in my male role. This week I had a real struggle with myself to go to work dressed as a man. Now I often wear make-up and earrings to work and my nails are long and polished, but even so I'm relatively discreet and no one is bothered. If I turn up in a skirt and heels..... hmmmm... maybe everyone would be ok, maybe not. In any case I had to turn the car round at one point, return home and swap the the dress and heels for something more masculine.

I've always been fairly comfortable in a female role, but now I'm completely comfortable in a female role, to the point that I'm struggling to cope with my existing role. To address the work problem I've bought female bootcut jeans and a neat tailored blouse and that's what I'll be wearing to work.

I've never had to struggle like this before, but I've never been on FG/RC before. I have not been keeping up with other bloke-ish things and I put it down to the weather as January/December was very bad weather-wise, but if I'm honest with myself, I just had no interest or drive to do the things I would normally do. I even enjoyed clothes shopping which I always regarded as an evil to be tolerated.

It could be coincidence. It could be that my developing breasts are causing me to think about how I want to live and appear and it is nothing to do directly with the FG/RC, or it could be that having phyto-oestrogens pouring around my body has affected my thoughts and feelings. I don't know.

As for sexuality, that is unaffected. If anything, my wife and I have been more active than ever and I still love her very much.

Beverley

[Alexis]

In my case it seems as if the PM made me more aware of my appearance and generally made me somewhat more feminine. But for now, I'm going to stop the PM because it has been really messing with my head. i don't know if its from getting too tired at work or a lack of social life. i don't know. but i'm going to stop and see.

[Chrissiegirl]

Keep us posted, on how things go; most people report very beneficial effects, on mood, from PM. Have you got a trans support group in your area? Most girls find it a great support and I becomes a big part of their social life. I could be something that would help you in resolving the conflicts, in your mind.

[Wishful]

If you use estrogen or phytoestrogen you will rewire your brain. You will slowly develop a more feminine way of thinking. You will notice things like being more consious of your appearance. Maybe even wanting to polish your nails, do you hair differently to a more feminine style.and so on. Your personality will mellow out. the male competitive nature will fade away. Along with that you will notice physical changes. You will put on fat on your hips and thighs, your waist will move up, your lower legs will take on fat to round out and, of course, your breasts will grow. So if you play with your hormones, you will suffer the consequences. you must be very careful with what you are doing unless you desire complete transformation. Growing your breasts and trying to hide them works only for a little while. Get up to a B cup and they are very difficult to hide, if not impossible. Be very sure of what you are doing before you get in too deep. Most of these changes, especially breasts, are a one way street and not reversible without surgery.
Growing your breasts can be a very rewarding experence both mentally and physically. But it can have disastrous effects on your life - parents, friends, marriage. What do you tell them and how? Just be sure it is what you want. ANY doubts should be taken care of before you start. Once you get the bumps on your chest, its too late to decide that its not what you want.

I just felt that with the way this thread was going this had to said. It would appear to me that some have not completely thought this through or really knew what they are really getting into when they started. Maybe this will shed some light on it all. But like always, if you do decide to go down this path, we are here for advice and support. You are among friends.

[Alexis]

Thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it. What I'm not exactly sure of in the moment is whether I really want to grow breasts or not. Its a very "iffy" topic. I honestly don't know. But what I do know for curtain is that i want to drop kick my testosterone levels so that my facial hair grows slower and my butt gets bigger. Basically the whole reason why i experimented with PM was to get a bigger butt all around. I'm assuming that as soon as I get to a small A cup my hips and but would develop enough for me to wear girl jeans/pants and not look like im trying to imitate a girl. I know that Maca root is the herb for a bigger butt. But, its for girls and girls have the supporting estrogen in them to support the Maca. thats why i didn't do Maca but PM. At this point I've taken exactly 120 capsules of 80 mg PM extract, and the only results i've seen so far was lots of changes in mood. Mood swing. Small things seemed to really irritate me. other than that i was really calm. maybe its just my "girl" personality which i think it is. As far as being a competitive male like you said, i've never been like that. I've never been in to sports at all. I really don't care about that subject. From all the research I've done over the past year I can clearly see that even before i started red clover, and then PM that my brain was wired more like a female brain. i get emotional very easily although i can hide it really well. being a man for as long as i've lived gave me that experience of pretending i was one. I'm really shy. I blush more often than not. and the classical one of course: I find my way around the city by land scapes/photographic memory. if you give me direction via west east north south. i'll be like what are you talking about. lol. i feel more comfortable in the "English department" than in math which is another thing that girls are generally good at: math. anyways... sorry for the long essay lol but i have one more concern.

lets say i buy a maximum strength Saw Palmetto and take it for a while and it does all the magic and blocks much of my testosterone away. then if I stop using it for a little while. does that mean that my testosterone receptors would be more sensitive to the testosterone since their having been at work for so long?
which would lead me to look even more masculine??

[Wishful]

Well, every male has estrogen in the body and every female has testosterone in her body. But in both cases it is at a very reduced level. If you were to reduce your T level way down with SP, the estrogen would be at a higher relative level and could cause feminization to occur. You stated that you are not sure if you want breasts or not. That is a question you have to figure out for yourself and come to a final decision BEFORE you sart messing with hormones. SP can cause breast growth simply by removing the T that inhibits it. I would suggest going to a department store and getting a bra, not a big one but an A or B cup, and wearing it. Use a breast form or something to fill out the cups. Now go for a walk downtown. If you can't handle that then growing breasts is out. Once you do grow them you will be wearing that bra all the time. Give this a LOT of thought - and try the bra. Its a good way to see what you are in for.