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Ms. Bunny ... lives?!?

#1

Hey everyone!!

I’ve been meaning to write and update as to what I have been up to all this time, but every time I try and start, something comes up and I end up forgetting about it. It seems it’s been over a couple of years since I’ve updated anything. Sorry I have been gone away for so long. I miss hearing from many of you, and how y’all are doing. I had remembered there was rumored to be a discord server someone had created for here after the IRC server went down and after poking around and messaging some old friends, I finally found it and got in. It has been really nice catching up with some old friends as well as making some new friends. I helped overhaul the server, organized it a bit and what not. I plan on writing another post later with a brand-new invite to the Discord server for those that want to be able to chat and share whatever. Smile" alt="Smile" title="Smile">

Oh my gosh, so where do I begin?! So, I ended up moving again within the same city. Renting a duplex now with garage and a backyard, it’s really nice. I like it a lot, plus the neighborhood is super quiet. Previous place there would always just be so much noise, even late at night and it would get annoying. Now I am closer to the mountains and in a very lovely neighborhood. I am still with the same girl that I met back in 2018. She is absolutely wonderful and amazing and helps me out so much.

We joined a few lesbian groups and made a bunch of new friends. It was really nice getting to hangout and just fitting in and being accepted. Just another one of the girls. Big Grin" alt="Big Grin" title="Big Grin"> We did a few get togethers at restaurants and hung out at the gay bars, went to the pride events, it was a lot of fun! It was rather nice fitting in with others that are like minded and just being accepted for myself.

So, my sexual identity and relationship preference has changed. I have settled on being pansexual but leaning towards femininity. Just a preference in softer features whether male, female or non-binary. As to my relationship preference my fiancée and I are polyamorous. Oh, yeah, guess I forgot to mention that we got engaged last year. Big Grin" alt="Big Grin" title="Big Grin"> So, she is more demisexual, she finds me attractive and loves and cares about me but has very little interest in anything sexual. She’s open to my having another partner that would meet and fulfill my sexual needs. Isn’t she just wonderful?!

Of course, wouldn’t be me if something weird didn’t happen. I had a falling out with the local LGBT center that I had not only volunteered at but was also an active board member. I had been going to the Transgender Support groups since the very first one. As long as I was in town I would attend, and I would even help facilitate the groups from time to time. I also helped facilitate the youth support groups as well. I help with various events and even hosted a few events myself. It was wonderful, keyword, was … The center did some one-on-one interviews to get a better idea with how they could further enrich the many different support groups they offered. Post interviews I was called to meet with two people from the center. They informed me that it was not necessary for me to attend the Transgender Support group. Apparently, I was told that some people found me somewhat intimidating because I was at an “advanced” stage. That’s right, for a lack of a better word, as they put it, they just kept saying that I was “advanced” because I was further along than say someone that was just coming out, and possibly not even on HRT yet. They also said that I didn’t let others have a chance to speak, which was complete bullshit. You could ask my closest friend or my fiancée that would attend with me that I would wait and wait for others to speak up and contribute but it was dead silence. Nobody would say a damn word. After time passed of too much awkward silence I would speak up about things. I always shared what was going on with me on the off chance that it might help someone else going through something similar. I was also a wealth of knowledge and was able to provide useful helpful information. I also helped several people with their name and gender marker change. I tried and worked so hard so that no one would ever feel alone in this, so that others had help if needed and someone to talk to. But apparently some found me intimidating and wouldn’t let others talk. My friends and I have a feeling we know exactly who said this about me, but that is neither here nor there. The two people informed me that they were going to start a new support group … a … uhm … “Advanced” support group, where I would be welcome to attend. On top of that, because of my wealth of knowledge and experience, they wanted me to be available to answer questions to anyone. So, I was to take on the endeavor of creating an online accessible me, that would be available to answer any trans related questions people might have. But I was not welcome at the transgender support groups. Basically, my home away from home, where I felt at peace, where I was among kindred spirit, where I didn’t feel like I was alone, where I felt like I belonged … they took that away from me. I had been the social media face for the center for over 3 years for tons of events. I stepped out of my comfort zone and put myself out there to be warm and welcoming, and now I was no longer welcome to the one place that gave me solace and comfort after everything I had done. I later found out that the groups really didn’t change much, people still weren’t talking, weren’t opening up, it was basically just dead air. The “Advanced” support group never happened, and after a few too many uncomfortable conflicts with the person that started the center, whom many believe was the real reason why I was screwed over the way I was, I resigned from being a board member and cut my ties with the center. I tried, I really did try really hard to be there and be supportive and helpful, but the fire in me had been extinguished and my love for the center had been squashed.

My former roommate moved out. I will always be thankful and grateful to her. She’s been my closest friend throughout my transition. Unfortunately, her and my fiancée did not get along at all. I think part of it was misunderstandings and the other part was just she still had feelings for me and it just made for a very uncomfortable situation with all of us living together. As far as our two bunnies we got together, I let her have mine so that the bunnies would not be separated. It was a bit sad that my best friend and the bunnies were all moving out. Thankfully we are still good friends and talk to one another still. I do miss seeing her daily and being able to see the silly bunnies be stinkers.

With the loss of one roommate I gained a couple of new ones. A mutual friend of my fiancée and I was going through a rough patch that would eventually end in divorce. Her and her wife were in a very toxic relationship. While our friend had tried to be there and supportive for her wife, it just was not a good relationship. She needed a place for her and her son and so I offered up my place. In December of 2019, she moved in with us. We all got along great and it was quite nice having additional company in the house where we all got along. As things started to ramp up with covid, she chose to stay with a friend during the early quarantine because her friend was along during the day since her friends girlfriend had to work.

A good portion of 2019 was not good for my fiancée and I. With all the stress and anxiety that was going on at home because of the tension with my former roommate and my fiancée things got pretty damn bleak. My depression and anxiety went through the damn roof and I was not handling things well. On top of that my fiancée was also going through shit because of work, and the tension with my roommate. Her depression and anxiety was going haywire as well. Two folks in a bad state do not go well and things got really bad between my fiancée and I (this was before we had gotten engaged). We both ended up seeing a pretty good psychologist that helped get us the right medication that stabilized us, but unfortunately damage between my fiancée and I was already done. When I am not in a good place I tend to close up and shut out everyone around me. It’s a very crappy defense mechanism where I just push people away, especially the ones that I love and care about. I came super close to losing my fiancée, and almost realized things a bit too late. Things were not well between her and I for quite sometime. It took a lot of work to get things in order, but her feelings for me had changed, she loved me, but wasn’t in love with me, that part of her had died out from how distant things had become between us. Slowly, bit by bit we started to heal, but it was not easy. Meanwhile we had made some new friends and we had all been hanging out. It was good for us to have new people to be able to talk to and help work things out. I happened to click well with one of our new lesbian friends and things between her and I started to shift. I made sure to let her know my situation and what I was looking for and also let my fiancée know what was going on. We all talked about it together after and made sure we all understood what was going on, and that we were all on the same page. Everything was agreed upon by all parties and understood and accepted the “rules” of our newly established relationship. Erin and I alternated staying over at each other’s place during the week. This was my first cis relationship post transition. So it was definitely different. I was Erin’s first trans girl relationship so we talked about things and established that we would taking things slowly regarding sex. We both agreed we weren’t quite ready for that, and we needed to discuss that further as far as what we were comfortable with as we got to know one another more and more. That very night I was at her place and we stayed up late watching movies together. It was really cute and cozy. It got super late and she was worried about my driving home so late. She asked me if I wanted to spend the night so that I didn’t have to drive home so late and since we had already established that nothing was going to happen sexually we were both pretty comfortable with the thought we would be able to sleep with each other and nothing sexual was going to happen. Of course nature had other plans. Sometime early morning as she cuddled me from behind nature kind of took over and our relationship leapt forward to the next stage despite our best laid out plans. Erin had originally said she did not want to be penetrated, but we did end up having intercourse and continued to do so throughout our relationship. I was okay with it for the most part. While I am not fond of my given anatomy and would love to get GRS someday (gender reassignment surgery), I am for the most part comfortable using what I have for now. Our trio seemed to be working well, we all got along and it was definitely an interesting new experience being in a poly relationship. Nothing ever happened between the three of us because Erin wanted to get to know my fiancée more before figuring out whether or not she was comfortable doing anything between us three. Things did seem to be progressing well and we all would hangout together and it was great. It was very interesting having to split time between two people that I cared about and it wasn’t always easy as I never wanted anyone to feel left out. Somehow I managed to make it work, or so I thought. Late January of 2020, Erin came over and broke up with me. I don’t believe she was ever fully comfortable in a poly relationship, she would have preferred to not have to share me. Within a few days I saw her tagged in a post that she was in a new relationship with a guy. She went from lesbian back to straight, or possibly bi, not really sure as I didn’t bother asking. That really fucked with my self image as I was left wondering how she really saw me, did she see even really see me as a woman?! It hurt a bit more than I thought it was going to, and mostly it was because I am not really sure why she really decided to break up with me, and the fact that she went back to dating men.

Meanwhile a couple of months or so before the breakup, my fiancée and I were working on a project that was near and dear to my heart. I was researching on starting my own peer to peer transgender support group and had started to get that ball rolling. Our new roommate had her own business that she had started and offered up the space for us to use in the evening and so began the new support group. It was doing decently and had started to gain some recognition. I was eventually able to find a larger facility that was really great for our group. Things were looking very good for our group and I was really excited to be able to give back to the community again. Unfortunately it was short lived. When covid started ramping up and lockdowns were being put in place, that ended our ability to meet in person. A friend from a larger organization offered to help with the zoom meetings, but they never came through. I couldn’t afford subscribing to the services on my own and I lacked the know how in trying to acquire grants for my new organization nor the knowledge to establish the organization as a non profit organization. It was just another heartache and failure in my life. The one good thing that happened early 2020 was in February of 2020, for Valentine’s Day, I proposed to my now fiancée and she said yes!!!

Sometime I believe in 3rd quarter of 2019 I had decided to do some things I had been wanting to do for a very long time. I finally got a tattoo on my forearm. It is a crescent moon with three bunnies sitting on the inner crescent. Each are a different color and represent myself, pink, my oldest son, green, and my youngest son, blue. It turned out to be absolutely wonderful! The other thing I did was, my fiancée and I got our septum pierced. Neither the tattoo nor septum hurt too much. There was a small area on my forearm where it stung a bit as it was being created, but other than that, it wasn’t too bad. As for the septum, that was a bit of a quick sting but didn’t really hurt that much, so that was nice. While I was getting my septum pierced, I decided to check on my nipple piercings to see how those were doing and make sure that my body wasn’t rejecting them a 2nd time. She checked my piercings and she said they were pretty crooked and not done very well and recommended that I remove them and get them re-pierced again correctly. I had my suspicions that was going to be the case because they had always been slightly crooked and on top of that they had seemed to move ever so slightly away from my body. So while I gained a new piercing, I lost two. Sad" alt="Sad" title="Sad"> I do want to get them redone again, I just haven’t had a chance to look into again post covid.

While most of 2020 kind sucked balls because of covid, there were a few good things that came out of it. In June of 2020 on two different weeks, I got two bunnies. I was told they were both boys. My kids picked out the bunnies and they are absolutely precious and adorable. Albeit the little stinkers have hundreds of dollars worth of electronics and cables. This month, was the one year anniversary of my little stinkers. My fiancée was most wonderful and made cute little carrot cake treats that were rabbit friendly and they loved it. On top of that it was my youngest son’s birthday and she made a super yummy vegan carrot cake. So our whole household had carrot cake!!!

Another interesting development this year was that my ex had to go back into the office. The kids were not going to be going back to school yet and since I worked from home, that meant I had the kids during the week and my ex was going to have them weekends. It was a huge change in the dynamic. Thankfully my fiancée is super awesome and she helped me watch the kids during the day to make sure they stayed on top of their school work and stuff. It was a bit of a struggle as the kids were kind of starting to slack off. We eventually got things under control and things balanced out.

So how did I end making my way back here? Well I was wanting to catch with old friends on here and see what was going on. So earlier this year I went through BN trying to figure out how to access the discord server. After a few trials and errors I was able to make back onto the server and catchup with old friends, and make some new friends! One in particular we started to get a bit closer and closer as we talked and got to know each other. Well as it turns out, she didn’t live too far from me. Eventually we started dating after I told her about myself and that I was polly. She was completely okay with all that. Shortly after, I asked her if she’d want to move in with me, and she said yes! I went to go meet her a few times before she moved in with me. She didn’t move in till after she graduated from school. I know this may sound bad, but she was just graduating high school. No she is not underage, she’s just … well, a lot younger than me. Much to my surprise she’s completely okay with our age gap too. Smile" alt="Smile" title="Smile">

So that’s everything since my last post! I’m still on HRT, I don’t think I’ve really developed too much over the past few years. Perhaps a bit firmer and a bit larger but nothing really significant. Smile" alt="Smile" title="Smile">
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#2

Wow.
I joined right around the time you last participated here, but I'd been lurking for quite a while before that so I feel like I know you a bit. Too many of my BN "heroes" have disappeared....or maybe more accurately: graduated to life beyond here. In any case, it's really great to see you back here. Thanks for the inspiration.
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#3

(26-06-2021, 11:19 PM)Nipply Russel Wrote:  Wow. I joined right around the time you last participated here, but I'd been lurking for quite a while before that so I feel like I know you a bit. Too many of my BN "heroes" have disappeared....or maybe more accurately: graduated to life beyond here. In any case, it's really great to see you back here. Thanks for the inspiration.


Awww, well I am glad you took a moment to pop in and say hi. I’ve tried hard to keep in touch here but it’s hard, life gets crazy and hectic. I posted about discord if you ever wanna talk more. Plenty of active charters there too. Smile" alt="Smile" title="Smile">

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#4

Hi Sofia!
WOW thanks for the update.
I never thought I'd get such an amazing story.
I remember when you were scared to death of your makeover, and it looks like you jumped over the fence and KEPT ON RUNNING.
What an life you've had so far and there is plenty more to come.

Thanks for what you are and do.
Huggs
Bobbi
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#5

(27-06-2021, 03:33 PM)Happyme Wrote:  Hi Sofia!
WOW thanks for the update.
I never thought I'd get such an amazing story.
I remember when you were scared to death of your makeover, and it looks like you jumped over the fence and KEPT ON RUNNING.
What an life you've had so far and there is plenty more to come.

Thanks for what you are and do.
Huggs
Bobbi


Yeah, I struggled and fought hard against accepting myself, I just couldn’t … but once I did everything just fell into place and … well yeah … here I am, happy lil ole me. Wink" alt="Wink" title="Wink">

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#6

Hi Sofia
Good to see you back here - doing the same as all of us, working out how we relate to the world and more.
x Ari
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#7

(27-06-2021, 09:28 PM)ariadne Wrote:  Hi Sofia
Good to see you back here - doing the same as all of us, working out how we relate to the world and more.
x Ari


Thank you, it’s lovely coming back. I’ve finally started maturing mentally … a bit … maybe … I don’t know … damn HRT definitely anti aged my mind and body. Lol. I still do some immature things … like go to pride night in an extremely short skirt that completely exposed my posterior. Lol, okay maybe I still haven’t mentally gotten past my unruly “teen” years.

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