27-05-2021, 01:01 PM
Another story time... Bunch of small nice surprises I've had lately.
I've been validated lately in such ways its very very positive and encouraging. I had a time not that long ago that I openly thought and said that I wouldn't think I would become credible or good looking woman, oh boy was I wrong! In very short time my looks have improved drastically, partly due to the amazing herbal program cooked up by our very own Lotus, part of it is getting a hang on which kind of makeup and clothing work on me. (Huge thanks for my angel of a girlfriend who has been very helpful with all this!) And thirdly I would think about my shitty confidence getting healed and backed up by positive experience...
I was on the street in from of our house talking with my next door neighbor the other day last week about some renovations going on here. Her bf came for a visit, stopped in front of us bit ways away. She introduced me to him and we talked for a bit. I went back home and heard today that my neighbors bf was completely surprised when she said my name, he said "I thought you were talking to a woman!" and ofc she then explained him that I'm mid transition. (My neighbor is lovely, she has bunch of trans friends and has been married to one and what not.) Anyway, apparently I passed completely without wearing revealing clothing, without makeup, without paying any attention to my voice which is a HUGE deal to me as my voice bothers me like nothing else. (Except for my facial hair which I hate with a vengeance.) This was a big time validation... With my voice, not hiding beard shadow, without anything to underline my femaleness, I passed to a complete stranger. Who ever believes we can't easily pass, think again! People's perception is such that when there's enough subtle cues on which gender they're dealing with, its a pass, I don't think I look or sound fem enough unless I pay attention to all this, but I guess I was wrong.... Take this as an encouragement, things might be easier than you think. <3
Yesterday we went shopping, I had the best makeup on I've ever had so far and made sure to be as fem as it can get with everything. I'm very aware of how people look at me and this time there was not a single weird look from anyone, usually there's at least one or two, but now, nothing out of the ordinary. This I think is very positive thing that I'm able to go out there without anyone paying special attention. Its very ironic that to get to that point, enough feminine boxes must be ticked to get over the uncanny valley of gender perception. Being flaunting enough for it to become invisible. Ofc not going over the top as that will gather unwanted attention like crazy of course. The new things I did yesterday were huge cute earrings, my hair tied up in a way I never did before and a purse, my gf gifted her old one to me which is very nice. And also I was wearing sneakers which make my feet look nicely smaller. I wore rather casual clothing, except for having my corset below the tanktop to accentuate my waist. And it worked like a charm. I don't even mind to look like a weirdo and stand out from the crowd, but its both validating and soothing to be able to go out and look like just an ordinary woman, albeit quite tall one at that. But tall ladies aren't that rare here.
Lot of Finns are quite big in general and +180cm tall women are out there. I used to be insecure about my height, but these days I kinda like it... If I manage to build up bigger curves, I think my height will become an asset rather than hindrance. Some of the most beautiful women I know irl are quite tall.
As the cherry on the cake of feeling valid and cared for, my mother called me her daughter for the first time a while ago. She even congratulated me on my facebook post about booking the doctor to get my transition officially going. Wished me luck so I get a good doctor to deal with it. Its been really fantastic lately and I've surpassed my expectations on becoming passable, to be seen as a woman is highly empowering and nice experience. If I can do it, then you can too!
A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfection. <3
I've been validated lately in such ways its very very positive and encouraging. I had a time not that long ago that I openly thought and said that I wouldn't think I would become credible or good looking woman, oh boy was I wrong! In very short time my looks have improved drastically, partly due to the amazing herbal program cooked up by our very own Lotus, part of it is getting a hang on which kind of makeup and clothing work on me. (Huge thanks for my angel of a girlfriend who has been very helpful with all this!) And thirdly I would think about my shitty confidence getting healed and backed up by positive experience...
I was on the street in from of our house talking with my next door neighbor the other day last week about some renovations going on here. Her bf came for a visit, stopped in front of us bit ways away. She introduced me to him and we talked for a bit. I went back home and heard today that my neighbors bf was completely surprised when she said my name, he said "I thought you were talking to a woman!" and ofc she then explained him that I'm mid transition. (My neighbor is lovely, she has bunch of trans friends and has been married to one and what not.) Anyway, apparently I passed completely without wearing revealing clothing, without makeup, without paying any attention to my voice which is a HUGE deal to me as my voice bothers me like nothing else. (Except for my facial hair which I hate with a vengeance.) This was a big time validation... With my voice, not hiding beard shadow, without anything to underline my femaleness, I passed to a complete stranger. Who ever believes we can't easily pass, think again! People's perception is such that when there's enough subtle cues on which gender they're dealing with, its a pass, I don't think I look or sound fem enough unless I pay attention to all this, but I guess I was wrong.... Take this as an encouragement, things might be easier than you think. <3
Yesterday we went shopping, I had the best makeup on I've ever had so far and made sure to be as fem as it can get with everything. I'm very aware of how people look at me and this time there was not a single weird look from anyone, usually there's at least one or two, but now, nothing out of the ordinary. This I think is very positive thing that I'm able to go out there without anyone paying special attention. Its very ironic that to get to that point, enough feminine boxes must be ticked to get over the uncanny valley of gender perception. Being flaunting enough for it to become invisible. Ofc not going over the top as that will gather unwanted attention like crazy of course. The new things I did yesterday were huge cute earrings, my hair tied up in a way I never did before and a purse, my gf gifted her old one to me which is very nice. And also I was wearing sneakers which make my feet look nicely smaller. I wore rather casual clothing, except for having my corset below the tanktop to accentuate my waist. And it worked like a charm. I don't even mind to look like a weirdo and stand out from the crowd, but its both validating and soothing to be able to go out and look like just an ordinary woman, albeit quite tall one at that. But tall ladies aren't that rare here.
Lot of Finns are quite big in general and +180cm tall women are out there. I used to be insecure about my height, but these days I kinda like it... If I manage to build up bigger curves, I think my height will become an asset rather than hindrance. Some of the most beautiful women I know irl are quite tall. As the cherry on the cake of feeling valid and cared for, my mother called me her daughter for the first time a while ago. She even congratulated me on my facebook post about booking the doctor to get my transition officially going. Wished me luck so I get a good doctor to deal with it. Its been really fantastic lately and I've surpassed my expectations on becoming passable, to be seen as a woman is highly empowering and nice experience. If I can do it, then you can too!
A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfection. <3