I decided to make a separate thread for this stuff so I don't need to dig these up from my NBE thread in the future... I just had such an amazing night and I thought to write it down and write any other cool stories of crazy shit that is to transition. I don't know if I'm a good story teller at all, mostly I will just repeat the happenings of last night....
It started with a drum recording session with my other band, the 'studio band' which never plays live. Got to mention it being one of the most fun musical endeavors I've ever had going on. Everything done fast and simple, punk attitude and lot of good time making it. The recording went as planned, it was about a full length album, all songs but one got done and we dealt about taking a day off and finishing the drums on Monday.
Friends from another band called me, they sounded rather tipsy and having fun as they also had a recording of a new single song in the making on the same day. They had headed out to their rehearsal place and first asked if I could join them, then soon called again and asked if they could come to our place and I told them to show up when ever they wanted as we were wrapping up the day anyway and I thought I could use a drink or two and also see my friends first time as the real me. One of them who's the closest to me already knew about me, but others didn't have a slightest idea. As they show up the most stuck in their head bigoted moron of them, yes, I knew to expect something from their bassist, I'll call him P from here on out. He started laughing at me as he noted my bra strap. I asked what's his problem and he just muttered something about "you still wear a bra, looool" to which I asked, hey, how many girls you go to and laugh at them about wearing a bra? Its good idea to wear one as I have boobs. That sort of shut him up for a bit...
Soon after I wanted to tell them exactly what is mt 'thing' here. So I did, they had nearly their jaws drop for a minute and then all the questions started. They asked all kinds of stuff, some absolutely retarded and some questions very valid. I wont repeat all that here since most reading are already familiar with the stuff trans person gets asked all the time. But what I want to mention about this is one of the annoying sides, messing up gender with sexuality. I don't like it. I had to explain them that me being pansexual has nothing to do with my gender and has not changed and that this 'gender fixing' stuff is not sexual in nature, its about feeling at home in my body and fitting better in to the place that is natural for me. The guy with phobias, their bassist, was so confused.... He said some quite horrible stuff too but then also that I'm his friend and he will do his best to understand this stuff. And he also said that he has never had these things stare at his eyes from close proximity so he has no clue about it. (But enough of a clue to hate and/or fear LGBT+ people? How does this compute, I never understand it?)
And now the fun begins, they started to offer me drinks as I had none of my own, very generously, even too fast. But for some reason I didn't say I wouldn't have any or that I would want to go home early... No way, I had forgot such things as being tired or drinking with moderation, I was already having too much fun. The bassist, he was most eager offering me beer, asked me many times if I want another one. And he couldn't take his eyes off me. I had shown them some pics of me having makeup done and they were all "WOW! Is that you? Really? I could have a crush on you" and so on. The bassist dude was clearly having some big inner conflict with his transphobia brewing up as he was clearly so much into me but had much difficult accepting me.
After awhile I went to sit next to him, starting to feel way more relaxed and bit tipsy. So I went, sat down and talked with this guy. I wanted to make him understand where I'm coming from. And that fucking pig at one point went on and grab me by my boobs. Yep, typical guy. I quite soon went off as I had had enough of his bs for a while and wanted to speak with others. The guy who came in last, mutual friend of ours, I'll call him M signed me to come sit next to him... (This guy was totally all in understanding where I come from since he arrived! 100% supportive and smart about it!) So I sat down and to my surprise he put his arm around me and sat in real close and told me how cool it is that I'm trans and brave enough to come out like I did. He also complimented my looks... All the nice stuff people can say. We had quite a discussion with him about all kinds of things and he asked hints on how could he find a girlfriend. He came to ask that in the way that "since you know the woman's perspective on this"... OMG how it hit me, that was a huge compliment to ask me but I had to say that I can't really tell you all the magic about that one, but definitely can give some tips on stuff that works. I went on to tell him what I know to be things that make my knees tremble and my heart melt.
At this time P, who was getting mighty drunk, started to act out being quite annoying. Not only had he said trans phobic bs, he had grabbed my boobs which I didn't like in the slightest. I also told him that, hands off of ladies unless you have a permission. He was truly hungry for attention and soon sat on the other side of me. Ladies here will know how lovely it can be to be sandwiched by two guys who more or less both are interested or even to the point of having a crush. P was getting a bit too close and bit too comfortable and kept on pushing closer all the time while trying to steal my attention away from M with whom I was having very nice discussion. I got so pissed that I pulled away from him what I could, asked M to put his arm around me and keep the other guy away from me which he did. That was such a cool moment! I was experiencing some of the nice perks of being a woman right there, I got a guy to protect me. After some time, P's advances got so annoying that M got a bit pissed and told P to back off and leave me alone. They almost started to raise their voices and I had to chime in and tell them "Boys, boys, cool down, no need to fight over me." I can't believe I was in this situation I've been witnessing from the side many times before... Two a bit drunk friends want the attention of the same woman and they end up almost raising their voices about it. Now I was that woman in between these two heroes.
My closest buddy who I'll call V, he was just being brilliant. He kept calling me on my new found name almost all the time and was generally just super cool about things. Near complete change from his earlier attitudes from last year. To my surprise he said that he knew I am trans ways before when all I had told him was that I like to experiment with clothing... Back when I was still way too much closeted, somehow this guy just knew it apparently. He said it was silly for me to out myself to him as he's in the know. I told him its just a formality and gives me peace of mind to make things absolutely clear with them.
Enough about him, back to me sitting next to M for a long while.... He was really nice to me all night and at one point I said I got to go pee as I feel like my bladder's gonna burst. He stopped them and asked the most odd question I can think off, "Hey, Larissa, umm.... How do you pee these days? You do it the guy way or as girls do?" :O That made my jaw drop, such a normal thing and he thought out to ask about it. I said that I can do both ofc but I like to do it like girls do. (This was relevant because at our rehearsal place we don't have toilets we can use as we don't have the key there so the world outside is our toilet. Sucks but nothing I can do about it. ) Them M went to ask me, "Do you ACTUALLY know how to do it the girl way?" with clear doubt in his voice. At this time I was already in the point of being so drunk and way past the point of modesty, and also tired of having to prove so much to these guys that I just told M, "Come on, I'll show you." And so out we went and I looked for a spot, squatted down with my back against a wall as that's a nice way to do and let loose... This guy was there looking at me being totally speechless... I finished my job and went to to M and said "So there, that's how girls do it". He couldn't get much of a word out of his mouth, on the way back in he finally started to talk: "That was crazy! How in heck did you do it that natural, heck if I'd try I would likely mess my clothes or something?!" That was the moment when this guy realized for real that he is dealing with a woman. I asked him, was that what you needed to validate me in your mind? And he said "yea, kinda, I guess..."
Another interesting little point was when P went to ask me the most hurtful thing I heard all night. "Hey, can you give birth?" Holy shit how that felt bad. Ifc I had to say no, I can't. At that point M came into that and said to P, "Not all women can so shut the F up with that". Talk about getting slammed in the face and defended by someone in less than half a minute... M saying not all women can give birth, omg, another such validation I didn't expect to have.
The rest of the night went kinda blurry, V's gf showed up to give me a ride home, she was totally cool about me too as usual. We talked a bit about bras and stuff with her. They gave me the ride and I told my girlfriend all the cool stuff that went down, soon passed out and here I'm now typing before I forget more without making even coffee yet, having quite a killer headache. But yet strangely happy, I didn't waste a dime of money and had tons of fun. I got both doubted and validated in ways I never expected, I didn't even look or sound passable in any kind of way and yet got treated as a woman, both in good and bad. I got to admit that the perks of being a woman, having a man defend me and keep others away, having them do stuff for me by just blinking my eyes a few times... Having drinks offered from all directions just like that, someone offering me light each time I went for a smoke, small things. That's still so new and fun and scary.
Yea, being me, the best decision I've ever taken, no doubt about it. <3
Larissa
It started with a drum recording session with my other band, the 'studio band' which never plays live. Got to mention it being one of the most fun musical endeavors I've ever had going on. Everything done fast and simple, punk attitude and lot of good time making it. The recording went as planned, it was about a full length album, all songs but one got done and we dealt about taking a day off and finishing the drums on Monday.
Friends from another band called me, they sounded rather tipsy and having fun as they also had a recording of a new single song in the making on the same day. They had headed out to their rehearsal place and first asked if I could join them, then soon called again and asked if they could come to our place and I told them to show up when ever they wanted as we were wrapping up the day anyway and I thought I could use a drink or two and also see my friends first time as the real me. One of them who's the closest to me already knew about me, but others didn't have a slightest idea. As they show up the most stuck in their head bigoted moron of them, yes, I knew to expect something from their bassist, I'll call him P from here on out. He started laughing at me as he noted my bra strap. I asked what's his problem and he just muttered something about "you still wear a bra, looool" to which I asked, hey, how many girls you go to and laugh at them about wearing a bra? Its good idea to wear one as I have boobs. That sort of shut him up for a bit...
Soon after I wanted to tell them exactly what is mt 'thing' here. So I did, they had nearly their jaws drop for a minute and then all the questions started. They asked all kinds of stuff, some absolutely retarded and some questions very valid. I wont repeat all that here since most reading are already familiar with the stuff trans person gets asked all the time. But what I want to mention about this is one of the annoying sides, messing up gender with sexuality. I don't like it. I had to explain them that me being pansexual has nothing to do with my gender and has not changed and that this 'gender fixing' stuff is not sexual in nature, its about feeling at home in my body and fitting better in to the place that is natural for me. The guy with phobias, their bassist, was so confused.... He said some quite horrible stuff too but then also that I'm his friend and he will do his best to understand this stuff. And he also said that he has never had these things stare at his eyes from close proximity so he has no clue about it. (But enough of a clue to hate and/or fear LGBT+ people? How does this compute, I never understand it?)
And now the fun begins, they started to offer me drinks as I had none of my own, very generously, even too fast. But for some reason I didn't say I wouldn't have any or that I would want to go home early... No way, I had forgot such things as being tired or drinking with moderation, I was already having too much fun. The bassist, he was most eager offering me beer, asked me many times if I want another one. And he couldn't take his eyes off me. I had shown them some pics of me having makeup done and they were all "WOW! Is that you? Really? I could have a crush on you" and so on. The bassist dude was clearly having some big inner conflict with his transphobia brewing up as he was clearly so much into me but had much difficult accepting me.
After awhile I went to sit next to him, starting to feel way more relaxed and bit tipsy. So I went, sat down and talked with this guy. I wanted to make him understand where I'm coming from. And that fucking pig at one point went on and grab me by my boobs. Yep, typical guy. I quite soon went off as I had had enough of his bs for a while and wanted to speak with others. The guy who came in last, mutual friend of ours, I'll call him M signed me to come sit next to him... (This guy was totally all in understanding where I come from since he arrived! 100% supportive and smart about it!) So I sat down and to my surprise he put his arm around me and sat in real close and told me how cool it is that I'm trans and brave enough to come out like I did. He also complimented my looks... All the nice stuff people can say. We had quite a discussion with him about all kinds of things and he asked hints on how could he find a girlfriend. He came to ask that in the way that "since you know the woman's perspective on this"... OMG how it hit me, that was a huge compliment to ask me but I had to say that I can't really tell you all the magic about that one, but definitely can give some tips on stuff that works. I went on to tell him what I know to be things that make my knees tremble and my heart melt.
At this time P, who was getting mighty drunk, started to act out being quite annoying. Not only had he said trans phobic bs, he had grabbed my boobs which I didn't like in the slightest. I also told him that, hands off of ladies unless you have a permission. He was truly hungry for attention and soon sat on the other side of me. Ladies here will know how lovely it can be to be sandwiched by two guys who more or less both are interested or even to the point of having a crush. P was getting a bit too close and bit too comfortable and kept on pushing closer all the time while trying to steal my attention away from M with whom I was having very nice discussion. I got so pissed that I pulled away from him what I could, asked M to put his arm around me and keep the other guy away from me which he did. That was such a cool moment! I was experiencing some of the nice perks of being a woman right there, I got a guy to protect me. After some time, P's advances got so annoying that M got a bit pissed and told P to back off and leave me alone. They almost started to raise their voices and I had to chime in and tell them "Boys, boys, cool down, no need to fight over me." I can't believe I was in this situation I've been witnessing from the side many times before... Two a bit drunk friends want the attention of the same woman and they end up almost raising their voices about it. Now I was that woman in between these two heroes.
My closest buddy who I'll call V, he was just being brilliant. He kept calling me on my new found name almost all the time and was generally just super cool about things. Near complete change from his earlier attitudes from last year. To my surprise he said that he knew I am trans ways before when all I had told him was that I like to experiment with clothing... Back when I was still way too much closeted, somehow this guy just knew it apparently. He said it was silly for me to out myself to him as he's in the know. I told him its just a formality and gives me peace of mind to make things absolutely clear with them.
Enough about him, back to me sitting next to M for a long while.... He was really nice to me all night and at one point I said I got to go pee as I feel like my bladder's gonna burst. He stopped them and asked the most odd question I can think off, "Hey, Larissa, umm.... How do you pee these days? You do it the guy way or as girls do?" :O That made my jaw drop, such a normal thing and he thought out to ask about it. I said that I can do both ofc but I like to do it like girls do. (This was relevant because at our rehearsal place we don't have toilets we can use as we don't have the key there so the world outside is our toilet. Sucks but nothing I can do about it. ) Them M went to ask me, "Do you ACTUALLY know how to do it the girl way?" with clear doubt in his voice. At this time I was already in the point of being so drunk and way past the point of modesty, and also tired of having to prove so much to these guys that I just told M, "Come on, I'll show you." And so out we went and I looked for a spot, squatted down with my back against a wall as that's a nice way to do and let loose... This guy was there looking at me being totally speechless... I finished my job and went to to M and said "So there, that's how girls do it". He couldn't get much of a word out of his mouth, on the way back in he finally started to talk: "That was crazy! How in heck did you do it that natural, heck if I'd try I would likely mess my clothes or something?!" That was the moment when this guy realized for real that he is dealing with a woman. I asked him, was that what you needed to validate me in your mind? And he said "yea, kinda, I guess..."
Another interesting little point was when P went to ask me the most hurtful thing I heard all night. "Hey, can you give birth?" Holy shit how that felt bad. Ifc I had to say no, I can't. At that point M came into that and said to P, "Not all women can so shut the F up with that". Talk about getting slammed in the face and defended by someone in less than half a minute... M saying not all women can give birth, omg, another such validation I didn't expect to have.
The rest of the night went kinda blurry, V's gf showed up to give me a ride home, she was totally cool about me too as usual. We talked a bit about bras and stuff with her. They gave me the ride and I told my girlfriend all the cool stuff that went down, soon passed out and here I'm now typing before I forget more without making even coffee yet, having quite a killer headache. But yet strangely happy, I didn't waste a dime of money and had tons of fun. I got both doubted and validated in ways I never expected, I didn't even look or sound passable in any kind of way and yet got treated as a woman, both in good and bad. I got to admit that the perks of being a woman, having a man defend me and keep others away, having them do stuff for me by just blinking my eyes a few times... Having drinks offered from all directions just like that, someone offering me light each time I went for a smoke, small things. That's still so new and fun and scary.
Yea, being me, the best decision I've ever taken, no doubt about it. <3
Larissa
