[Peyton]

I'm brand new to this website as I only discovered it late last week. However, I am not new to feminine desires. I am a mid-40s AMAB that has always wished to be female. Unfortunately, I've never been able to express my feelings as I have conformed to society's expectations. And, I feel that I could never go the TS route as I don't think I'd ever be a good looking female, or even passable. I'm 5' 10" with broad shoulders, a masculine face, and receding hairline.

I see myself as a non-binary, gender-fluid, transfeminine person. And since I don't think I could ever be an attractive female, if I could appear male on the outside and give more affirmation to the female in me—physically and hormonally—that'd be my happy place. I've shaved my body hair for who knows how long. I'd happily jump at the opportunity to have vulvoplasty surgery, even if I never did anything else. With NBE, I hope to develop a solid "A" cup. I don't think I would want to go any further than that.

I'm getting sick and tired of denying my true self and decided that it's time to help her out a little. So, on Sunday I purchased and started taking—DIM, L-Lysine, Saw Palmetto, DHEA, Fenugreek, Biotin, and Calcium. On Monday, I was able to find and started taking Red Clover, Hops, Fish Oil, Dandelion Root, Black Cohosh, Collagen, and Milk Thistle. That is a lot to swallow (hehe) even if it is divided up into three times a day!

After more research yesterday, and not wanting to waste money already spent. I decided that once I run out of Red Clover and Hops, I'll switch over to PM. After I run out of L-Lysine, and Saw Palmetto I'll switch over to Reishi Mushroom. I probably won't continue DHEA, Fenugreek, and maybe Black Cohosh when they run out. That should save a little cash. I guess I was kind of thinking that the heavier dose of anti-androgens will help push my balance to the other side.

This morning I ordered my PM and RM to be delivered on Tuesday of next week. So, I will definitely have them when I run out of my current estrogenics near Day 21.

NBE Day 4

Yesterday I noticed one thing when I went to use the bathroom. I was exerting efforts for a bowel movement and excreted ejaculate instead—almost as much as I wanted to.

It did seem that when I went to move something very heavy yesterday, that I couldn't move it as easily as I could last week.

Other than those, I'm not feeling much if any effects. Maybe it's still to early to tell. Or, maybe what I'm taking isn't effective. I just don't know. I'll keep on keeping on. Maybe it's a slow process and I'm just expecting the "feelings of change" to be happening immediately. I just think I expected to feel a little bit of a pink fog already. I did just up my estrogenics to 3x/day (one was 1x/day the other was 2x/day) starting this morning as they are less potent than PM. So, hopefully I'll enter the pink fog soon.

What is "normal" at this early stage? Should I be feeling the pink fog? Should I be feeling or experiencing any physical changes yet?

[michelle street]

If you arejare into taking multiple pills more than one time a day you need to slow down and see what your body is going to react with some things may not be so good for you and there's quite a controversy on the saw palmetto, PM would be a much better way to start along with calcium you don't want to push her liver into overdrive trying to catch up

[Peyton]

If you arejare into taking multiple pills more than one time a day you need to slow down and see what your body is going to react with some things may not be so good for you and there's quite a controversy on the saw palmetto, PM would be a much better way to start along with calcium you don't want to push her liver into overdrive trying to catch up

Thank you. I am taking them fairly evenly throughout the day. As for my liver, that's the reason why I'm taking Milk Thistle and Dandelion Root. Both are known for their helping the liver. I will likely not take SP after I run out of this bottle, so that should help. And, I am taking calcium already in preparation of PM.

[michelle street]

Gotcha ,look forward to hearing your progress

[Peyton]

NBE Day 6

I'm still taking my supplements every eight hours or three times a day at 7:00a, 3:00p, and 11:00p. Every once in a while I think I'm having some tingling, tenderness, or warmth in my chest (especially around the nipples), but it's hard to tell if it's wishful thinking or the desired effects actually happening. Most likely it's the former and not the latter.

This morning while using the bathroom I had another unexpected large secretion of seminal fluid, my second since beginning. It was mostly clear with some inconsistent milkiness in the discharge.

On a related note, it seems that the corona on the glans of my penis is getting really sensitive to touch, even without stimulation.

[guy_and_lingerie]

Putting in my 2 cents here...

You can never really tell what herbal supplements will work and what wont. 

I used a lot of herbal stuff several years ago and can't say that I got much from all of the combinations. 

I have, however made great progress taking only fenugreek (2  610 mg capsules, 3 times a day) for the last year and a half.  The only other thing that I was taking was saw palmetto which I have taken for years with no problems. I got the program from a guy on another site who has grown some huge breasts using only fenugreek for 10 years.

Recently, I found out about the reishi mushroom on this site.  I am taking the tincture 3 times a day in place of the saw palmetto and I think it is helping. I have also added collagen and citicoline which I believe are giving even more of a boost.

You may want to go more gradually on the herbal doses to test for any problems - sometimes they can have serious consequences.  Also, no herbals are going to give  results in shorter time like estrogen or PM.

One last word, I would be very careful taking PM.  It is not just a mild herb and has all of the effects of estrogen.  Taking too much too fast can have very serious health consequences. Best to do a lot of research on here before starting.

Good luck to you and hope you share your progress on here!

Joey

[Peyton]

Joey,

Thank you for your sincere feedback. It is really appreciated. It’s so nice to have people I can discuss this process with.

[Peyton]

Day 8

One week in and not much to report really; not that I expected major changes yet. No desired effects, no adverse side effects. My guess is my body is trying to figure out the "new normal;" and is possibly trying to "keep to the program" what I'm trying to re-program.

I'm also doing intermittent fasting and have lost 2.8 lbs in the past week. I'm still up about five pounds since about the beginning of the pandemic. I did notice this morning that my watch band is fitting on tighter holes as my wrists seem to be shrinking a little. My watch band was never able to be on this hole even with the lower weight of a few months ago. It could be related to my BME. I don't know.

As far as baseline measurements go, I'm 5'10", 215 lbs, with a 42" bust, 41" underbust, 42" belly, and 41.5" hips.

My PM will be here tomorrow, but I won't be taking it until my Red Clover and Hops are gone; somewhere around August 1. I plan on taking it slow with 1 PM 1x/day for one week a month and 2 fenugreek 3x/day for the rest of the month. I will also begin taking 2 Reishi Mushroom 1x/day when my DIM and SP are gone.

[Peyton]

Day 10

They arrived. I have one PM sitting right here in front of me. It's a off-white, milky colored capsule filled with powder. I don't have PM in my regimen for another three and a half weeks. (See my current program in my profile.)

I so want to take just one.

I want to feel the effects of female levels of estrogen in my body. I want to know what it feels like to be a woman. I've wanted this all my life.

As I roll it around in my fingers, I wonder. I wonder if I'll feel anything only taking one.

Will I feel different?

Minutes tick by as I debate with myself.

It's not a matter of whether I should. It's more about the fact that I may want to move faster down this rabbit hole than I should.

I want to. I so want to.

If I do take this one, will I be able to control myself and not take another tomorrow? Will I be able to adhere to my rotation of weekly regimens and take this slow? Or will I want to take only PM?

I know what I want. I know what I've always wanted. Yet, here I stand with a key in my hand and I'm hesitating to unlock the door.

I'm definitely not ready as far as my relationships go.

I am far from being out of the closet.

I spin it on the table top with my finger as I contemplate my destiny. It's as if I'm playing "spin the bottle."

How much do I want the woman inside me? How much do I peel back the male on the outside and let her out?

Can I put her back in? Or will she take over my body? Deep down, she's always controlled my mind and soul. She claws her way back to the surface quite often. Sometimes more than others.

Why am I debating this so much?

40 minutes has passed since I started writing this entry.

Okay... here it goes...

She won this one.

[Peyton]

Day 11

I've taken RM for three days now and took only the one PM yesterday afternoon (with Red Clover and Hops as my current daily since beginning NBE).

I don't know if this is a result of the RM and PM adjusting my hormone levels or not, but I'm feeling kind of a warmth in my face and I think my overall mood is calming. It really didn't start happening until about two hours after taking my RM, RC, and Hops this morning.

If this is what "pink fog" is, then I like it. I'm usually a highly tense person and I'm not feeling that way at all right now. Even if I didn't want breast growth, I like this feeling.

On a related note, I don't know how accurate the measurements of my smart scale is, but I'm already seeing major changes in my body's makeup.

Since beginning NBE, I've lost nearly 6 lbs (primarily due to intermittent fasting). I started at 219.4 and am now 213.5.

After reviewing my numbers for many of my weigh ins since I got the scale in April, it looks like my bone mass has averaged around 9.4 lbs. Today I saw it drop to 8.8 after fluctuating between 9.0–9.2 while doing NBE.

In the same time, it also seems I've lost 6 lbs of muscle mass while my body fat percentage has gone up 2.2%.

Does this indicate a shift to female estrogen levels?