19-02-2020, 07:37 PM
I decided in 2018 that I want to have real boobs, not just moobs. I tried a 16 day plan of my design in early January 2020 using massaged and overdosing on PM serum, Naturaful cream and Naturaful patches. I didn't get the results I wanted, but later discovered some "development" of breast "framework" in my smaller, right boob. Meaning although my right boob didn't get bigger or change shape, the inside of it feels different to the touching.
In this process, the effects of the PM got in my head. I went from "I just want my right boob to be as big as my left" to "I want to take the PM pills and supplement it with the PM serum to get my right boob as big as my left."
I'm seeing a therapist, and she was shocked when I told her that I want to do the pills now, instead of waiting until I no longer have to work. I told my sister this, too, and she says it's a bad idea. Because of what might happen while at work.
I've had "pseudo" gyno since a teen, and was made fun of it while at school. I even had comments at work from when I started there in 2007 until a few years ago, albeit not in a shaming sense, so I started to wear compression shirts to hide them.
This plan I did changed the way I thought about hiding. I don't want to go overboard with the PM and I'll still wear the compression shirts, but I've always seen my boobs as playthings and I want them to be bigger, but at the moment more close to being symmetrical. It's about a half-cup difference between the two and my left looks, and moves, more feminine than my right.
And if by doing so makes them into a full/real B cup size and I become more feminine looking, so be it.
So... Has anyone had bad experiences at work? I work 3rd shift at a 24-hour grocery store and people will eventually notice... I think I can handle weird looks, off comments and the such from customers (I kinda do now, anyway - fair and unfair). And I've been bullied since 1st grade for basically every reason you can think of... Tall, fat, weird nose, ugly, man-boobs... So it's not anything too different than what I've already been accustomed to, though being labeled as Trans or homosexual would be new...
I'm more worried about what others at work might think of it - from top-down of the store, not much from workers from other shifts. In the handbook, the company basically says it doesn't care about differences in people, just if they can do the job and how we should treat others with respect. I just don't want HR to call me in or punish me for something stupid, just because I'd look different than before and "someone" doesn't like it... We had, at one time, a deli worker that went FTM, removed breasts, HRT, name change... And I don't know the reason, but he doesn't work here anymore. Maybe just found a better job, but maybe also "forced out". Who knows...
And I must say that I live in a Conservative area in the state and most of my extended family are Conservative, too...
My sister supports me in my wanting of genuine boobs, but she doesn't want me to put in a position of ridicule and potentially lose "a good position" of a steady, stable full-time job that I've held since 2007. My therapist agrees with my sister's concern; so much so that I have to do a pros/cons analysis so I know of the benefits and risks. I was considering on telling my boss and maybe HR about what I want to do. I want them to know, so they won't get surprised and so they can understand.
I talked to a trusted co-worker and he said that it's not anyone's business on what I want for myself. He even went to the point of saying that if the store has any issues, I should work elsewhere to a more accepting employer...
But I don't want to work anywhere else, I like where I am. I'm not a salesman, I don't like talking on telephones or doing presentations, I'm not a people-person... I just want to show up, do my job and go home.
… And thankfully, since it's been around a month since my 16-day "journey", the PM juices are out of my system and this "I'm doing this, no matter what" desire has dissipated in my mind. I'm still interested, but I don't want to be reckless and ruin a good thing I have...
In this process, the effects of the PM got in my head. I went from "I just want my right boob to be as big as my left" to "I want to take the PM pills and supplement it with the PM serum to get my right boob as big as my left."
I'm seeing a therapist, and she was shocked when I told her that I want to do the pills now, instead of waiting until I no longer have to work. I told my sister this, too, and she says it's a bad idea. Because of what might happen while at work.
I've had "pseudo" gyno since a teen, and was made fun of it while at school. I even had comments at work from when I started there in 2007 until a few years ago, albeit not in a shaming sense, so I started to wear compression shirts to hide them.
This plan I did changed the way I thought about hiding. I don't want to go overboard with the PM and I'll still wear the compression shirts, but I've always seen my boobs as playthings and I want them to be bigger, but at the moment more close to being symmetrical. It's about a half-cup difference between the two and my left looks, and moves, more feminine than my right.
And if by doing so makes them into a full/real B cup size and I become more feminine looking, so be it.
So... Has anyone had bad experiences at work? I work 3rd shift at a 24-hour grocery store and people will eventually notice... I think I can handle weird looks, off comments and the such from customers (I kinda do now, anyway - fair and unfair). And I've been bullied since 1st grade for basically every reason you can think of... Tall, fat, weird nose, ugly, man-boobs... So it's not anything too different than what I've already been accustomed to, though being labeled as Trans or homosexual would be new...
I'm more worried about what others at work might think of it - from top-down of the store, not much from workers from other shifts. In the handbook, the company basically says it doesn't care about differences in people, just if they can do the job and how we should treat others with respect. I just don't want HR to call me in or punish me for something stupid, just because I'd look different than before and "someone" doesn't like it... We had, at one time, a deli worker that went FTM, removed breasts, HRT, name change... And I don't know the reason, but he doesn't work here anymore. Maybe just found a better job, but maybe also "forced out". Who knows...
And I must say that I live in a Conservative area in the state and most of my extended family are Conservative, too...
My sister supports me in my wanting of genuine boobs, but she doesn't want me to put in a position of ridicule and potentially lose "a good position" of a steady, stable full-time job that I've held since 2007. My therapist agrees with my sister's concern; so much so that I have to do a pros/cons analysis so I know of the benefits and risks. I was considering on telling my boss and maybe HR about what I want to do. I want them to know, so they won't get surprised and so they can understand.
I talked to a trusted co-worker and he said that it's not anyone's business on what I want for myself. He even went to the point of saying that if the store has any issues, I should work elsewhere to a more accepting employer...
But I don't want to work anywhere else, I like where I am. I'm not a salesman, I don't like talking on telephones or doing presentations, I'm not a people-person... I just want to show up, do my job and go home.
… And thankfully, since it's been around a month since my 16-day "journey", the PM juices are out of my system and this "I'm doing this, no matter what" desire has dissipated in my mind. I'm still interested, but I don't want to be reckless and ruin a good thing I have...
