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More Than I Bargined For

#1

So I will keep this on the topic, but I will add to it once this thread gets running.

So to kick it off I just wanted to get some breast growth and over the years did some methods like NatureDay and a few herbs, never got much. Found this site about a year ago and read about PM and read a lot a lot of many Lotus threads, tips and experiences from others on the board.

So I dove into PM slowly after reading a lot here and other places. Thought it was BS and a lot of Hype, did not do the BO route-path since I did not want to be a full women. So PM it was, 1st time use 500mg a day, then up to 1000mg a day. Added lots of D+ calcium and vitamins, all good stuff to trigger HGH etc. No issues and after a few weeks but could tell something was going on. Lots of itching, soreness even at week 3, then, after I would say 6 weeks for sure had small lumps aka buds ( never ever had them before).

So fast forward at 3 months took some time off and way could see I started looking way more fem in the chest and more like breast and quickly jumped to a full 38 A but closer to a 40A band would have been better. Rest of me still way a lot of muscle rest of features etc very male. Buds got and felt pretty darn big, worried about the lumps and they hurt BAD as hell for a while, they are still there about a year later but dont hurt and seen to cover more of the breast.

Went off and on PM and added a few other Amino acids, MSM, good vitamins, started eating a lot more soy, milk, cheese, dairy stuff and lots of veggies, esp. cruciferous vegetables types as I read help with healthy breast tissues. Breast seem to love it, alll the while doing massages 2-3 times a day and the breast and nipples esp areolas took off and are now female looking is size and overall look. Gradually in the next say 3 month block about 5-6 months in I way noticed my brain was thinking so so much more like a girl.

At this point I was a bit weaker but overall still looked like a guy with moobs or if I cross dressed a decent looking gal. But more male then female and a lot of mental struggles mood swings terrible at times sleep was crappy and that is never a good thing especially for HGH and any type of body growth muscles etc.

OK so then at about month 8 still similar to above but now a small 38 B lacking top and some side tissues, but never conical in shape, I decided I would try Progesterone cream. Well whala, made me sleep better, no effects at all... well at 1st. Moods so much better too and great sleep. Then after 2 weeks I took a break from everything for 2 weeks, them went back on PM for a month no PC at this time, then added PC back and it was like a turbo charger to the engine. My skin hair, nails, lashes etc that already were very soft and very female, my entire body then went into over drive it seemed and I loved it.

Then about month 10 I way started feeling like crap on PM, so I cut back to 500mg a day max, not so much the leg cramp issues, added even more D3, Calcium of all types and even more water, potassium, magnesium etc. Well regardless what I did or do stomach was way NOT happy, no energy just felt like hell, so I stopped. NOTE to backup a few months, I did try fenugreek and tried mothers milk tea and other herbs used, but never a T blocker. PM was the killer was making me ill now so I have stopped for near 2 months now.

From what I can tell the PC for me acted like a major T blocker and not only did my breast fill out a lot, but now my 38 B cup bras are tight in the cups, and the bands that were tight and now way comfy to point I go in one set of hooks to snug up. I can way feel all the glands and such in the breast not just fat.  I surely dont want to be a full time C cup, can not even think about how to hide that much. 

It seemed like my arms, back etc were getting smaller and at a very fast pace. My wife even commented that I have a very hour glass shape and I could fit into a size 8 pants. She said they feel like hers and said my legs are girly. I dont even ask, these were her comments us watching TV. I also noticed that my legs mostly inner thighs were rubbing a lot when sitting and at night even sweating and seem to be fat and rubbing together, then in another month like say 9-10 but butt and hips matched my thighs and my waist just melted away. The upper thighs seemed to happen overnight seriously like in a week even got some cellulite on them and every aspect pubis, area you name it went soft and gained fat.. All the while I dropped in a year from 190 to 172 while gaining fat and am about 5' 11".

So now , and I can add a lot more, I went from just wanting boobs to now having no more bulging quads in legs, even look like pelvic tilt for sure has happened had a lot of lower ab pain and low back hip pain. I thought I tore something, but did not. Next my shoulders, arms all gone and female looking in that month 10-11. Arms went fro 16 to 13. So here I am having stopped everything and it is like I am on auto pilot and it seems almost every morning I wake up I have less muscle and more curves and long lean female muscles now. it is almost 1 year now since I 1st tried PM.

So I just wanted breast, but PM made brain wiring female and I dont think just on the surface level, but at the core of my entire body. My hair I way excited about it, almost no gray and thicker too. Body hair on chest what is that? PC made the nipples at least 1/2 wider in course of a month and there is no are they male or female, they are female now all the way.

So anyone else similar results and seems like you cant get the balance correct to be both male and female? I stated wanting some breast and now even without a bra look like a women, face is so much rounder too, less wrinkles hair is awesome and body hair on chest, upper thighs is gone and thing of the past. Most all other body hair is very feminine as well.

I really need to get a hormone test, I am sure I most have been very E dominant looking back, and PM put me into the E dominance quickly and the PC made everything transition more so fast. I read that this can take many months to even years, and most MTF dont even need PC, WRONG ... well from my results, but dam it happened to me without wanting it or expecting it in I would say 2-3 months and it rages on.

I dont want to go to a Dr and take T shots to go back the other direction, but I need it (E and PC levels +T) to level off, but it seems I broke something. I read most males using PC can even boot T levels and loose fat, but for me it took what T I had and seemed to make more E I think? Of course I have gender issues worse then ever to a point, but I love what I see to a point to, but am scared it wont stop the transitioning at all. I feel like this last growth spurt is the entire body, orgasm is difficult, lots of shrinkage there too and when I do get to having sex it is the best ever an entire whole body type of orgasm. wow, so this to me is my favorite thing, the rest is scarring me that I went to far and it happened to fast.

From the start of PM so many have stated it is such a slow process etc. so I never worried about PM or anything else going to work that good and thought this would be like NatureDay or other breast herbs and be a very difficult process just to get some boobs. And stopping will put the brakes on, and even reverse course, but for me it was like petal to the metal so to speak.  So maybe if change diet back to crappy lots of meat male type foods etc I could reverse a it more male in the waist hips, legs, but etc. I know most of the breast growth is here to stay now especially after using PC and getting all the duct and glands on to off all the bud growth.

But what if it has now tipped the scale? I really really need to get a complete hormone panel, but that scares me to know for sure what I did to me and what I will need to do to stop the continued path. I am in NO way making this up, I am one that has started, stopped in the past, pitched so many cross dressed clothes, pills etc you name. Then started up all over again. Maybe this way PRIMED the receptors.
comments, tips, help, feedback from others?
thanks..

PS
SO my take is that make sure your are OK with PM, you may like me get way more than you ever wanted. And to fast to cope with too. I was OK with the growth spurts but never the bottom going that fast and that much so soon. I was thinking at any point I could put the brakes on. But I think the master cylinder is broken maybe?

One More Comment
I also never expected that much brain re-wire from PM either... I still do not want to transition or ever do Pharma. I just wanted some boobs and keep cross dressing. And now male clothes dont fit right, so I had to get all women's jeans and shorts to fit my butt, legs, curves in hip etc. If i wear a 36 man pants it will fit but waist is a joke way to large, and I need a 30" in male pants but I can get them over my thighs and butt. So I am at present 38 top, 28 upper waist and hips 39. When I started I was 42, 33, 37 ish male looking. So I just wear loose shirts or tops and women's camis that are not to fem for me in public when presenting male and with a little built in support or compression, tanks and layers when not to hot  to hide the boobs. Cant hide the butt and leg shape unless I go up to a large pant size and wear a belt and cover with a long shirt. But lately I care less about the stares. Seems like guys stare more than women. Women seems to be OK with male boobs well to a point... Wearing a bra maybe not so much Which sucks because a B cup in IMOP needs support.

Sorry to dump so much detail, I did not think I would be this long winded and I did leave out a LOT, but this has been building for a long long time.. Sorry I am shy about posting pics. Maybe at some point I can get there.

Emotions well that is another book right Smile
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#2

You c/p this from my thread, didn’t you?
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#3

NO I did not :Smile 

But I really think we all kinda go down this same road huh?

Sorry if it seemed if I did on some of it, but this is a short version as long as it seems to what has happened to me.

I was laying in bed again this morning looking at myself and thinking I need to share, for nothing else to just get some feedback and feelings from others in a similar situation.

I think to a point I am using the board not to vent but as a mental and physical evaluation and feedback.
But as I mentioned I really need to get a full hormone base line test. And I sure feel more than ever something is stuck in my endocrine system  forcing me to make more E, and or my T levels are in the basement too.


Thank you Stevenator
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#4

Seriously, though .... I started my NBE quest for bigger boobs, only. 
Silly me didn’t realize this wasn’t an ala cartel option. With boobs
came the pelvic tilt, ghetto booty, height reduction, thinner arms, 
hands, feet, legs, face, loss of strength, male function issues, female 
brain, the whole nine yards. It was an initial shock, then I learned to
embrace it. 

During my NBE, I’ve had many extended breaks. I took them to 
balance things out. I started to learn the signs of returning T. I’ve 
grown to loathe that feeling. I did a purge 3.5 weeks ago. I began 
clawing the walls last week. Yesterday I broke down and ordered 
more PM. I’m going to ‘try’ to take a lower dose for the time being. 
I’m not confident that I’ll be successful. I love the full dose too much. 

I’m probably within a few years of topping off my potential growth. 
I really do not want to miss out on any opportunities. As I was 
studying my options last week, I realized that I’m definitely going to 
need a maintenance dose when this boobie experiment is over. Not 
just to keep from losing any growth, (but as we’ve seen, they don’t 
deflate much), but as also previously noted, to maintain my new 
brain structure. After 3.5 years of rewiring my brain, I’m not ready 
to go back to the old me. No way. 

I still present as male, although I’m growing more comfortable in 
my hiking comfort kilt in public, (it’s like a tennis skirt), I have 
absolutely no wish or desire to transition. I shave my legs and I 
wear skirts, but I prefer the male role, albeit now with a female 
brain. While I’m going to try my damndest to maximize my breast 
growth, I’m in no rush whatsoever to step up to a transition dose 
of pharma hrt. 

From what I understand, stopping NBE will cause a reverse fat shift. 
It’s supposed to take as long or longer than before, but the boobs 
will remain. That much is known. I didn’t invest 3.5 years to have 
it take 4.5 years to revert to a manly man with boobs. I much much
prefer my new body now. Plus, I adore myboobs. Besides, does the 
pelvic tilt really reverse itself?? 

While I love my new skin & scent, I cringe at thinking going back 
to male skin, sweating buckets, smelling like a barn. I’ve grown to
Hate huge pores on male skin. That’s one of my favorite features. 

I’ve grown to embrace the new me. NBE has been a liberating 
experience. Even if it’s just between my ears.
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#5

Tbh, I feel now, (I had a 4.5 month run on BO), that I’m almost a month into a break, that I feel I’m starting to get positive and continued timely responses of growth. While my brain is craving PM, my body is chugging right along on E. This break, other than previous ones, this one feels different. While male function has thankfully returned, my brain & body feel like it’s more used to acting like a woman’s. I’m not making much sense, but if this is a long term aspect of NBE, I’ll embrace it wholeheartedly. Heck, I might even send it flowers <3.
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#6

(03-09-2019, 10:24 PM)Stevenator Wrote:  Seriously, though .... I started my NBE quest for bigger boobs, only. 
Silly me didn’t realize this wasn’t an ala cartel option. With boobs
came the pelvic tilt, ghetto booty, height reduction, thinner arms, 
hands, feet, legs, face, loss of strength, male function issues, female 
brain, the whole nine yards. It was an initial shock, then I learned to
embrace it. 

During my NBE, I’ve had many extended breaks. I took them to 
balance things out. I started to learn the signs of returning T. I’ve 
grown to loathe that feeling. I did a purge 3.5 weeks ago. I began 
clawing the walls last week. Yesterday I broke down and ordered 
more PM. I’m going to ‘try’ to take a lower dose for the time being. 
I’m not confident that I’ll be successful. I love the full dose too much. 

I’m probably within a few years of topping off my potential growth. 
I really do not want to miss out on any opportunities. As I was 
studying my options last week, I realized that I’m definitely going to 
need a maintenance dose when this boobie experiment is over. Not 
just to keep from losing any growth, (but as we’ve seen, they don’t 
deflate much), but as also previously noted, to maintain my new 
brain structure. After 3.5 years of rewiring my brain, I’m not ready 
to go back to the old me. No way. 

I still present as male, although I’m growing more comfortable in 
my hiking comfort kilt in public, (it’s like a tennis skirt), I have 
absolutely no wish or desire to transition. I shave my legs and I 
wear skirts, but I prefer the male role, albeit now with a female 
brain. While I’m going to try my damndest to maximize my breast 
growth, I’m in no rush whatsoever to step up to a transition dose 
of pharma hrt. 

From what I understand, stopping NBE will cause a reverse fat shift. 
It’s supposed to take as long or longer than before, but the boobs 
will remain. That much is known. I didn’t invest 3.5 years to have 
it take 4.5 years to revert to a manly man with boobs. I much much
prefer my new body now. Plus, I adore myboobs. Besides, does the 
pelvic tilt really reverse itself?? 

While I love my new skin & scent, I cringe at thinking going back 
to male skin, sweating buckets, smelling like a barn. I’ve grown to
Hate huge pores on male skin. That’s one of my favorite features. 

I’ve grown to embrace the new me. NBE has been a liberating 
experience. Even if it’s just between my ears.

I think we are on that same similar path, maybe it was less so for me when I 1st started, but the brain re-wire I sound like you a lot :Smile When I was a teen of course I way got turned on with the female body, still dobut I also was curious about cross dressing etc even way back then. So fast forward decades and I am more so wanting to be in at least part more female and way enjoy my female clothes and looks.

And the whole smell, sweat, guy crap attitude macho crap .. no I do want to go that far back. Hard to have your cake and eat it too  right Wink

Also a simple 40 lb dumbbell that I used to curl for reps with one hand .. ooh crap I am weak, like 25 lbs is more like it now and overhead I used to lift even a year ago up 60-70 a few reps, can even get 40 to my shoulders to do a one hand press.

Even my wrist ankles, it seems everywhere is smaller, cant all be muscle right?

From all I know T in men, and E in women is a main driver for bone size, density etc. But with what we are doing the E we now make does not work 100% the same as in a natural gender gal right?

I way need to work out again, but lite weights high reps, burn some fat and firm these thighs, but is firm, and my back  is gone, but that is OK, but you do get all that soft girl under arm and side back fat, mine is not accessive. I am lucky there so far.

But the prompt for me to talk and open up more was this seemly drastic change about 60 days ago that I thought was a growth spurt, WRONG... it it was everything. So I thought after stopping it would stall. But in the last 30 days it feels like I am still at 1000pm a day...

Oh what do do.... hugs
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#7

Wax Women's Juniors Mid-Rise Denim Shorts  Now this is the look and dam they are small but a med size fits almost too good now.

https://www.amazon.com/Wax-Womens-Juniors-Mid-Rise-Shorts/dp/B07S447NDK/ref=asc_df_B07S447NDK/?tag=&linkCode=df0&hvadid=355865704984&hvpos=1o5&hvnetw=g&hvrand=3258188220162112029&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1013412&hvtargid=aud-801738734305%3Apla-781476025170&ref=&adgrpid=72399815179&th=1&psc=1
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#8

Thinner feet, legs, hands & arms are from fat that is shifting to more normal female areas. I noticed that about the same time I noticed the pelvic tilt. When I figured that out, I realized a day of reckoning was at hand. Getting my height measured at the doctors office was a gut punch. My whole adult life, I loved being 5’11”. I’m 5’ 9 & 1/2”, now. THAT Sucked. 

But, I love my female ass now. I even like the cellulite on my thighs. Haha. I keep an eye out for facial changes, but honestly on NBE, I don’t think we have much to worry about. 

Working out boosts Growth Hormone better than anything else. When I stopped playing college football, I stopped going to the gym. I’ll use things such as CDP Citicoline & Black Currant Oil, now.
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#9

My wife would kill me if I wore those. LoL. 
I tried on a pair of her jeans once, and they 
fit like a glove. She wasn’t impressed. LoL. 
While my male clothes fit like shit now, I’m 
fallen in love with my purple rain adventure 
kilt. It looks like khaki shorts/skirt. It’s the 
most comfortable skirt that I own. As redneck
as my town is, I’m starting to venture out 
wearing my kilt. It wears & feels like a skirt, 
yet has the somewhat look of a kilt. Plus it’s 
kinda camouflaged, too. It doesn’t immediately 
look like a skirt. That’s about as the most 
daring as I’ll get. I’m wearing it now along 
with a comfort front clasp sports sleep bra.
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#10

I was reading either a TG or sissy forum last night 
when someone asked when did you start dressing. 
I think I was nine when I mom kept repeatedly 
busting in on me in the bathroom while wearing her 
lingerie. After the third time, my Dad got pissed. LoL

Around puberty, my best friend and I started giving 
each other BJ’s after school. That lasted a year and 
I moved away. I was in a serious funk when that 
happened. I moved to a backwoods town in NC and 
I knew my chance of that happening again was next 
to zilch. 

I started shaving my legs about age 15 and I knew 
that I loved that. Many many times periodically I’d 
shave them for stretches at a time. It wasn’t until 
my 40 & 50s that I kept them shaved for years at 
a time.

So, while I don’t see full fledged mtf hrt transitioning 
in my future, I’m happy with what I have now. I know
that I could probably do a quadruple back flip off the 
high dive into the mtf hrt pool, but life right now won’t 
allow that. 

Thank God for PM.
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