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Am I trans? What am I? A self-analysis thread (sharing encouraged)

#11

I’ve struggled with this question for a long time - finally admitted and accepted I’m trans, which actually made me feel a whole lot better. Am I going to transition ? Probably not, but you never know... However the”why am I doing this...”, “where am I going...” questions plague me constantly, together with the “what if...?” variants as well.
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#12

(01-05-2019, 04:54 AM)Nipply Russel Wrote:  Thanks so much, everyone, for sharing your points-of-view. I hope others chime in!

Demented, I have seen most of your posts and I don't want to just start repeating what others have said, so I'll say this:

As a human being - on earth and presumably in a free country (US?), you have one great thing going for you: you have freewill. Change what you can, when you can. Find your way. Don't worry that your issues won't all be worked out this week or this month, but do visualize and try to move towards making your life/body/whatever what it needs to be. Because of that freewill, it's very possible that you'll end up in a better place a year or two from now than you even thought possible. Does a year sound way too long? If it does, it's because you're young. When you get to my age, you'll realize how youth and impatience kept you from pursuing your goals. Don't squander this opportunity - change what you can and try to be patient. You can work this out.

K.

SuperB Wrote:I for one am happy that this site exists. There are a ton of trans centric sites that cater to those in transition. I've been on them like most of us here trying to learn what I wanted to know and I've seen the way people get treated that stray from the approved path. I've been on the gynecomastia sites and 98% are guys who want nothing to do with breasts and will have their chests mangled by a ham handed surgeon just to get rid of their breasts. I discovered this site back when it was part of breastnexus, I would spend hours reading and trying to filter out posts from the women that were irrelevant to a male trying to grow breasts. I would like to thank whoever decided to spin off the male portion. I have always felt that this is a very inclusive place with the focused goal of helping men grow breasts. The transgender community is a small one but I think that community of men who want to grow breasts and stay male is even smaller.

K. I don't want to be a bigot and I want to understand. But I don't get the beard and boobs. I get genderfluids who want to be a woman in the bedroom, but man in the workplace so they don't get bullied for being trans. But I am trying to understand those who want a beard and boobs at the same time, because I do not understand.
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#13

Now funny you should raise that

If I could actually grow a beard, I would most definitely do

Beards and Boobs

its my flip to the world,

remember the person who won the eurovision contest she was a bearded lady

well HOT I thought

x

Julie
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#14

(03-05-2019, 03:16 PM)dementedClown Wrote:  
SuperB Wrote:I for one am happy that this site exists.  There are a ton of trans centric sites that cater to those in transition.  I've been on them like most of us here trying to learn what I wanted to know and I've  seen the way people get treated that stray from the approved path.  I've been on the gynecomastia sites and 98% are guys who want nothing to do with breasts and will have their chests mangled by a ham handed surgeon just to get rid of their breasts.  I discovered this site back when it was part of breastnexus, I would spend hours reading and trying to filter out posts from the women that were irrelevant to a male trying to grow breasts.  I would like to thank whoever decided to spin off the male portion.  I have always felt that this is a very inclusive place with the focused goal of helping men grow breasts.  The transgender community is a small one but I think that community of men who want to grow breasts and stay male is even smaller.

K. I don't want to be a bigot and I want to understand. But I don't get the beard and boobs. I get genderfluids who want to be a woman in the bedroom, but man in the workplace so they don't get bullied for being trans. But I am trying to understand those who want a beard and boobs at the same time, because I do not understand.

@dementedClown if you
"get genderfluids who want to be a woman in the bedroom, but man in the workplace so they don't get bullied for being trans"
then you don't get genderfluid at all. Genderfluid people are not transgender, or they wouldn't be "fluid". Genderfluid are people that, not only in the bedroom, changes place in the gender spectrum according to their feelings. Not even necessarily all on one side or all on the other.

But, regardless, I think you completely missed the point: SuperB is talking about Men (not males) who want breasts. His reasons are his own, but he is quite clear in saying that he is not genderfluid or transgender, he is a man. The connection you make between wanting breasts, which are usually part of the female anatomy, and wanting to be a female or a woman is precisely the reason why it's so hard for a men like him, and myself, to find a place to call home. 
It's wrong to tell a trans woman "you have XY so you'll always be a guy". You would expect the trans community to understand how important it is to not misgender someone, but just because a man wants boobs we hear all the time "you must be trans, then!".  Like we don't share, and therefore fully comprehend, the need for transition, but we respect it, you may not understand beard and boobs, but why does it have to be so hard for a guy who wants Boobs to avoid being asked asked if he's trans every time? Or, even worse, told he's trans.
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#15

(03-05-2019, 03:47 PM)julieTG Wrote:  remember the person who won the eurovision contest she was a bearded lady

well HOT I thought

x

Julie

Found this, Julie:

http://www.freakingnews.com/Bearded-Wome...--4516.asp

(03-05-2019, 06:38 PM)Shirazmn Wrote:  But, regardless, I think you completely missed the point: SuperB is talking about Men (not males) who want breasts. His reasons are his own, but he is quite clear in saying that he is not genderfluid or transgender, he is a man. The connection you make between wanting breasts, which are usually part of the female anatomy, and wanting to be a female or a woman is precisely the reason why it's so hard for a men like him, and myself, to find a place to call home. 
It's wrong to tell a trans woman "you have XY so you'll always be a guy". You would expect the trans community to understand how important it is to not misgender someone, but just because a man wants boobs we hear all the time "you must be trans, then!".  Like we don't share, and therefore fully comprehend, the need for transition, but we respect it, you may not understand beard and boobs, but why does it have to be so hard for a guy who wants Boobs to avoid being asked asked if he's trans every time? Or, even worse, told he's trans.

Can you imagine a world that was totally accepting of a man having breasts? I'd be dressed as a man, wearing mostly men's clothes, doing man stuff, but maybe wearing a nice white lace bra under a plain woman's t-shirt (maybe white or gray) and my C cup boobs (if I had them) would be bumping into things and I'd have to worry about getting dirt or grease on my shirt, while looking forwarding to taking my bra off later and settling in for the evening with something more comfortable on.

Life would be heaven.
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#16

Oddly enough I have a friend overseas who work in one of the most male dominated physical environments you could think of, who had implants 4-5 years ago, and very impressive they are as well, then went through full SRS/GRS about 18-months ago, still presents as a male, with a beard, and looks like a biker. So anything’s possible.
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#17

Well with the mid life crisis I’m having at moment, that biker could well be me later
Lol
X

Julie
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#18

If only the fashion industry and the plastic surgery industry realised the potential of allowing men to change their bodies like a woman does, and dress as they wished, can you imagine how many billions they'd make?
If it's true that there is a pay gap and that men hold the wealth, then imagine how much money they'd spend to extend their wardrobes and change their appearance.

And when industries of that size push an idea through media, catwalks, celebrity endorsement, and advertisement sooner or later it becomes "the new normal".
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#19

Excellent view point Shiraz
X
Julie
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#20

No one else really can tell you what you are. What's worse are those that try to tell you without you asking.

I thought I was genderfluid when I joined here, though I think now I'm just a lesbian trans woman. I never was a masculine guy. I didn't really try to be when I was a kid, but as I got older I felt I had to for professional reasons, and mostly failed at it. Most people just saw me as a gay guy no matter what I did, and that is just not me, even though I am very feminine, I don't like men that way, and very much like women that way.

It really took a long time to see that it's entirely possible to like women and be a trans woman, because that was not part of the standard trans narrative from last century.

Also though, some people that have a beard and boobs don't necessarily want the beard. Getting electrolysis is a long and expensive process, and requires you to have at least 4 days growth. I love that some people are trying to rock it, because I have to anyway to get rid of this shadow. I have to live in the meantime.

But that's my story, and it's somewhat different from yours. Some people are OK with having some mix of masculine and feminine characteristics. I hope I still am somewhat as there's some things that can't be changed, or are expensive to change.
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