[Beverley50]

Hi Bev,

I ran into the same dilemma after my 1st batch of PM ran out. There was a 3 week pause until the next order arrived. meantime I experience those exact feelings, needs and desires that you have described. My body seemed to be missing something that it had become used to.
With that 1st regime, the changes were subtle, my nipples and areolae began to grow and protrude. The breast tissue also accumulated beyond what I had accomplished with the other herbals, primarily FG and WMY. I knew then that PM would become my 'drug of choice'.
However I learned that at first I was taking too much PM...1000mg every 12 hours. The result was that I used up that first order too quickly.

When the 2nd order arrived I could barely wait to swallow those caps! I re-started my regime by taking 500mg PM, and FG every 8 hours. (Included is RR and Maka every day). This has resulted in a kick-start effect. The growth has been nothing short of phenomenal! It has been 3 weeks now and the gains have been amazing. 
I now have breasts. They've gone beyond those 'moobs' that many men acquire in their later years. There are now those firm masses behind the nipples that continue to expand. Have I passed the budding stage? It's very likely.
My breasts push out against my tee's. Now when I go out I'll wear a tight tee under my shirt to smooth out my chest. 
Consequently, my behind has made gains, my thighs have become slightly thicker, and my waistline has remained narrow.

Just a few days ago while in front of the mirror, I saw my breasts with such clarity that I became frightened. I had to ask myself if I was really ready to continue on this path. I believe that I've gone beyond the point of no return. Honestly speaking here...this is scary.
I've thought about stopping, but this has become an addiction of sorts. I see how far I've gone and what is possible, but I want to continue.

What I have learned is the effects of PM or any NBE regime will continue long after we've stopped. In the interim between orders, the growth never slowed.
Now with this new batch my growth has accelerated. Nearly every morning now I've been greeted with ever so slightly larger breasts.
They are wonderful, sensitive, exciting to have and fun to play with.
I'm constantly reminded of their presence with whatever I'm doing...my arms rub on them, I bump them against objects, and now I will feel their weight attached to my chest.

Why did I choose this path? As a long time crossdresser I became weary of those breast forms, along with the shapewear. All those accessories were such a hassle...and fake. I wanted my own breasts, I wanted real cleavage, I want to be shapely in a feminine way.
So now that I have them, how far will I go?

Wow,

Thanks for the reply. By all accounts we are very alike then, both physically and mentally, and we are roughly on a similar development curve. By contrast though, I have sufficient PM, WP & RM in my drawer to last me another year, at 1000mg/day. I have been tempted to double this dosage, but have been indecisive, since a lot of girls here have said that it is better to be patient and develop over time. I mean, puberty does not begin and end within 6 months. Puberty usually takes years, so take your time, develop properly, let your body adjust accordingly, and most of all - Enjoy it!

I LOVE my breasts and everything that comes with them. The extra weight, sensitivity, femininity, sensuality. I also just LOOOVE the sensation and feel of a bigger butt (almost the most exciting) and in the way my denims are fitting now (never have been a big denim fan). Now I love denim and the way they fit me.

As for cross-dressing, I've been at it for 30 years already. And like you say, apart from a bra and compression underwear, I don't wear any other additional form-wear. I was born somewhat under-endowed anyway so hiding my genitals has never been a major issue.

And yes, HRT with resulting meaningful results in general and PM in particular is very addictive, and once you stop you're filled with fear about losing what has essentially taken you a lifetime to acquire. I mean, had we known about PM 30 years ago imagine where we could have been today. I know that I would have transitioned fully long ago during my later teens or early twenties, because by then I was already cross-dressing. BUT, that was a different time, in different circumstances, and I'm older now.

And yes again, this MTF HRT is a scary business in terms of coming to terms with the results once they start manifesting themselves, especially the breasts. There is always a fear of becoming an outcast, of people talking about you and/or talking behind your back, of being ridiculed, of being embarrassed, of the dynamics of your own immediate environment and how having breasts will affect your day. In fact, the fear of the unknown, of being found out and exposed, of being ridiculed and laughed at, often outweighs a lifelong desire to be feminine, and is often the primary reason why such desires are pushed back into the recesses of the brain and locked away. So its not a game for the fainthearted, but it takes guts to do. There are people who are just perfect mentally for transitioning. I know a girl who changed almost overnight from nothing to a swan, and her strongest point is that she just couldn't give a f***! She is totally unaffected by what people say about hert. She shrugs it off like water from a duck. Wish I had her strong personality. It is just natural to her. She's a "Screw everyone, does my tits look good in this bra, or should I unbutton another button and show more flesh?" kinda girl. Luckily she's my friend (and I'm kind of in love with her/him)

So yeah, we are not all the same. I'm a lot more private and guarded than that. I like to blend in, go unnoticed, dress like a working girl, and be overlooked as just another girl. Although, in my comfort zone, with a few like-minded friends, I can be an extrovert. But I need wine to loosen up.

Tell me, have you ever had a hormone count done? And if so what are the numbers? Mine currently are T21 and E132.

X

Bev

PS: I don't think it is possible to ever go back again, not for anyone. Once you start down this path there is no going back, neither mentally nor physically. Even if you DO stop, the memory of what is possible, and some aspects of the physical will always remain.