I have always had a saying " out of the ashes, good things can grow" . meaning: through our disasters and problems, new life, new experiences that we may not have had otherwise, tend to pop up and take root.
If you ever watched a forest fire, how it devastates the land and reduces it to ashes, those same ashes from the former life of trees and plants, feed the new growth, the cycle of life is complete.
In our lives and experiences , the same can apply, if we let it. otherwise, the ground is infertile and sterile. we need to plant those same seeds that will take root and grow into something beautiful. we cannot change what has happened, but we CAN affect what will happen to us.
its all down to a matter of perspective.
Change the angle, you change the picture.
For me, I have often wondered, if I wasn't abused as a child, whom or what kind of person would I be today? would I be a rude , crude and abusive male? living up to all the Male steriotypes? would I have taken for granted that everything is being handed to me, because its a patriarchal society? foregoing all that, I have made the choice... an active choice to give into the femininity and the beauty that goes with it. albeit internal and external.
I feel, that with that, comes an understanding of others, and not least of all, compassion for others and their plight. I do still maintain strength of will, when needed, to prevent my kindness being taken as weakness..