I've never really been one to worry about germs, or diseases. 'Was raised near the forest. Putting dirt in my mouth was just a natural part of life. Fast forward into my teens, and early twenties, and you'd still find me eating without washing my hands. Well, I'm not like that anymore. Not more than two weeks after starting my herbal NBE program, I've become almost obsessive about cleanliness.
I probably use hand sanitizer about twenty times per day. On a good day. I have to do it when I go shopping, in the car after shopping, before eating, after eating, sometimes in the process of making food, after touching a trash can, when I touch something in public (think a magazine at a doctor's office), when I go into a public restroom (before using it), when I shake someone's hand, if I touch something that the bottom of my shoe touches (like my shoelaces), et freakin' cetera. You get the picture.
I'm a bit perplexed, to say the least. Having never been this way before until starting the herbs, I can't help but wonder if there's a connection. I'm not going to go so far as to say that this is destroying my life, but it has added a regular jungle gym of hurdles to pass through throughout any given day. For the moment, I think just understanding my problem would make it easier.
So, on that note, has anyone else experienced anything like this? I think I should also point out, embarrassing though it is, that for some bizarre reason, my mind has a death grip on the idea of getting herpes from all of these objects. I've already researched the subject to here and back, and even my GP has told me that it's impossible to get from an object, but still, the once the panic sets in, I have to sanitize.
I'm a bit clueless as to why this is exactly happening, but I do have one thought: does part of the mental rewiring from E cause one's sense of self preservation to spike? This is just a little hypothesis
I've been mulling over. Could women be a bit more hardwired to protect themselves? I mean, they're the one's walking around with the complicated side of the reproductive system. Something you'd want your instincts to make you protect, right? So, I'm just wondering if (despite the lack of a uterus and other goodies) my brain is starting to try and keep me safe, and I'm just not used to it? Just a thought.
I probably use hand sanitizer about twenty times per day. On a good day. I have to do it when I go shopping, in the car after shopping, before eating, after eating, sometimes in the process of making food, after touching a trash can, when I touch something in public (think a magazine at a doctor's office), when I go into a public restroom (before using it), when I shake someone's hand, if I touch something that the bottom of my shoe touches (like my shoelaces), et freakin' cetera. You get the picture.
I'm a bit perplexed, to say the least. Having never been this way before until starting the herbs, I can't help but wonder if there's a connection. I'm not going to go so far as to say that this is destroying my life, but it has added a regular jungle gym of hurdles to pass through throughout any given day. For the moment, I think just understanding my problem would make it easier.
So, on that note, has anyone else experienced anything like this? I think I should also point out, embarrassing though it is, that for some bizarre reason, my mind has a death grip on the idea of getting herpes from all of these objects. I've already researched the subject to here and back, and even my GP has told me that it's impossible to get from an object, but still, the once the panic sets in, I have to sanitize.
I'm a bit clueless as to why this is exactly happening, but I do have one thought: does part of the mental rewiring from E cause one's sense of self preservation to spike? This is just a little hypothesis
I've been mulling over. Could women be a bit more hardwired to protect themselves? I mean, they're the one's walking around with the complicated side of the reproductive system. Something you'd want your instincts to make you protect, right? So, I'm just wondering if (despite the lack of a uterus and other goodies) my brain is starting to try and keep me safe, and I'm just not used to it? Just a thought.
Wow, I think I'd go insane if that happened to me, so I'm extremely grateful to be able to say that it hasn't. The nearest I can offer is that I do seem to have a greater tolerance towards/acceptance of the necessity for housework, so I suppose your obsession with cleanliness could be an extreme extension of that? Otherwise I have no idea what to say to help you I'm afraid.
I was going to say, nothing has changed for me. But in the last few months I have noticed that I hate getting my hands dirty, although no where near as bad as you seem to have got.
I think as a whole women tend to be more anxious. As I have gotten older, my anxiety has increased more and more but I remember even being anxious as a little girl. Not as far as germs, but I worried about things happening to my family all the time. I always wanted to ride places with my mom because I was afraid she wouldn't pay attention to the road or something. In return she was super strict on me texting her when I got places/when I was leaving and would call every time she heard sirens. I'm the same way and I used to drive guys that I dated crazy lol.
I think it comes from a place of nurturing. That's why I think they depict moms always being clean freaks in movies... germs cause sickness (which is why youre worried about viruses!), sickness can spread to your family, or to yourself and you know ladies have no time to be sick lol.
Are you on PM? I was on a certain brand that gave me terrible panic attacks and sent my anxiety skyrocketing. To the point where my husband took me to my cardiologist. I'm sure yours is due to hormonal changes but it was just a thought!
I think it comes from a place of nurturing. That's why I think they depict moms always being clean freaks in movies... germs cause sickness (which is why youre worried about viruses!), sickness can spread to your family, or to yourself and you know ladies have no time to be sick lol.
Are you on PM? I was on a certain brand that gave me terrible panic attacks and sent my anxiety skyrocketing. To the point where my husband took me to my cardiologist. I'm sure yours is due to hormonal changes but it was just a thought!
IMO I think your just overthinking things. I know using hand sanitizers is a slippery slope. When you get used to using it, when you dont you feel unclean or tend to worry about getting something. I've been there myself. The reality is the overwhelming evidence shows most bacteria in public is good for us. There is only a small percentage that can make us sick. Personally I think your just experiencing some anxiety, which by the way can peak its ugly head out in many different ways. I would suggest you only use hand sanitizers when you are around someone you know to be sick or infected with something. Get some exercise if you dont already. Studies show exercise is great for anxiety.
Pansy-Mae,
Possibly. I have a hard time telling about the housework because I've always liked keeping things clean and tidy. I have recently offered to essentially be my girlfriend's housewife while she's at work, so there's that
jannet.duff,
Oddly enough, dirt itself doesn't bother me at all. Unless there's some percieved threat of contamination. I'm scared of the dirt on our driveway because my car *might* have driven over roadkill that *might* have had rabies. Sigh
echapman,
I know what you mean about anxiety. My girlfriend's having a lot of trouble with her health, sleep included, and her job involves lots of driving. I'm getting more and more worried about something happening to her on the road.
I'm inclined to agree that that nurturing aspect of femininity may be prompting at least some of my responses. I've been on PM for close to six months now. Ainterol brand.
julieTG,
That's awesome. Good to hear it!
wmpwiwlw,
You may very well be right. I especially worry about the STD thing because of some articles I read that show that it's at least -possible- for them to survive on surfaces for an extended period of time. Of course no doctor will say it's remotely close to possible to actually get one, like from a toilet seat or something, but still, that possibility bores into my head like a nail.
I am trying to be better. Trying to limit my sanitizing to only when I get home, and only before eating/touching any mucous membranes. I exercise five times a week, 20-30 mn a day. Aerobic/Cardio. Hoping to up it if possible (bad knee/back/shoulder to get in the way
) Thanks for your encouragement.
Possibly. I have a hard time telling about the housework because I've always liked keeping things clean and tidy. I have recently offered to essentially be my girlfriend's housewife while she's at work, so there's that
jannet.duff,
Oddly enough, dirt itself doesn't bother me at all. Unless there's some percieved threat of contamination. I'm scared of the dirt on our driveway because my car *might* have driven over roadkill that *might* have had rabies. Sigh
echapman,
I know what you mean about anxiety. My girlfriend's having a lot of trouble with her health, sleep included, and her job involves lots of driving. I'm getting more and more worried about something happening to her on the road.
I'm inclined to agree that that nurturing aspect of femininity may be prompting at least some of my responses. I've been on PM for close to six months now. Ainterol brand.
julieTG,
That's awesome. Good to hear it!
wmpwiwlw,
You may very well be right. I especially worry about the STD thing because of some articles I read that show that it's at least -possible- for them to survive on surfaces for an extended period of time. Of course no doctor will say it's remotely close to possible to actually get one, like from a toilet seat or something, but still, that possibility bores into my head like a nail.
I am trying to be better. Trying to limit my sanitizing to only when I get home, and only before eating/touching any mucous membranes. I exercise five times a week, 20-30 mn a day. Aerobic/Cardio. Hoping to up it if possible (bad knee/back/shoulder to get in the way
) Thanks for your encouragement.
I haven't had experiences like you have. Outside of fatal diseases and injuries, I think a functioning body is pretty good with protecting itself against germs and the like.
Do you by chance have anxiety about your health as well? Or is it just limted to being OCD with washing your hands?
Do you by chance have anxiety about your health as well? Or is it just limted to being OCD with washing your hands?
I've been in chronic pain for six years, with no end in sight. Not even a diagnosis. It's hard to not have at least some anxiety about my health in general. Especially about things that are incurable. I'm starting to get the picture that this is just a me thing. Which is fine. That's why I asked.
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