[Huggy]

Hi Everybody

Pull up a chair, make yourself comfy, and pour yourself some of your favourite brew. I have a feeling this may go on a bit :-)

I have sat staring at this screen for longer than I care to admit. Am I actually, really truly, going to say this out loud? EEK!

I am 56 years old and only once in my entire life have I actually spoken to anyone about this. I was about 7 and my dear Mum took me to a specialist (note small s) about my, uhh, "problem". Having spilled my guts about how I should have been a girl, I was told that I was a hansom boy and just being silly, and then to my Mum "don't worry, he will grow out of it".

Only I didn't.

But I was a good boy and I tried soooo hard. And spent the following years dealing with the ebb and flow of normal life. Just with a tasty side order of denial, guilt, anger that I can't fix this, denial, embarrassment, moments of peace but immediately followed by more guilt. Oh, and did I mention denial? So I suppose pretty much the story of many here.

Which brings us to today with me sitting here staring at the screen not quite believing I am actually considering pressing SEND by the time I get to the bottom.

Three and a half years ago, within the space of just six turbulent weeks I had four of the five top stress events hit me out of the blue! It wasn't pretty! And truth be told I am still dealing with the consequences. But this is not about looking back but looking forward. My health has now stabilised, I have a nice home, good friends, and getting everything in place to start my business up again. (I design and build custom motorcycles. See, proves how butch I am (sic).) However, these last couple of years have also been a priceless opportunity to do some real in depth personal analysis and I have managed to get a lot straight in my head. Most of which isn't really within the scope of this forum, but the realisation that this dysphoria I have been struggling with all my life isn't actually my fault is finally sinking in. Coming to terms with that epiphany may still take some time, but that's in large part why I am here.

The stark reality is that because of my circumstances openly transitioning is not an option, I would make a rather ugly woman anyway. However, what goes on behind closed doors is nobody's business but my own, and as I now live alone and it's unlikely that will change, I can for the first time in my life do something to help me feel at home in my own skin. I even have a reasonable cover story in place for any girlie bumps that might not be so easy to hide should that need arise ;-) But as much as my fantasy of creating a gorgeously curvaceous feminine body does put a smile on my face, especially considering my age I am realistic about the effectiveness of an NBE programme. But some curves in the RIGHT places, soft skin, and some little boobies would be a delight. Quietening the libido and the mental aspects that some seem to be able to achieve would be very welcome indeed.

I have spent many hours trawling though this forum trying to understand my options. And boy, are there options! I have also been genuinely amazed at the depth of knowledge and support so freely given. There are some truly incredible people on here. What I have gleaned so far is to take it slow and keep it simple. Unfortunately after that nugget of wisdom it rather falls apart. The options available and the constantly growing knowledge base becomes bewildering to a newbie like me. And the more I read the more my head spins! However, we all have to start somewhere. So about a month ago I got the ball rolling.....

The plan was to steadily build up towards what seemed to be the consensus:

2500mg Pueraria Mirifica
1500mg Calcium
1500mg Saw Palmetto
2500mg Fenugreek
Total but spread over 3 times a day

I also take 450mg of Liquorice root a day to help with my Chronic Fatigue (seems to be helping and I keep a close eye on my blood pressure)

Unfortunately I have not noticed one iota of effect. Nothing. Nada. And even the ole' todger stands to attention at every opportunity :-(

I did get myself a Noogleberry. Now that really does work (shame the effect doesn't last though) but within a week there are definite changes in my nipples which when aroused are more perky.

Starting next week I will start to cycle 5/2 with just Milk Thistle on the 2 for a bit of system tlc.

Then once I finally start to get some tingles and budding, to add in Progesterone Cream and Aguaje and Maca to help with the curves. Really looking forward to the curves :-)

At least that was the plan.

But I carried on reading and having just bought some Spearmint capsules to replace the SP as that seemed to be falling out of favour. Only to then read that Spearmint may not be such a good option. And now that even the old faithful PM should only be taken in lower doses. I thought I could work this out but I am now at the stage where it feels that everything I read contradicts what I thought I had learned. Could somebody please take pity on this confused old thickie and point me in the right direction?

Pretty please with flowers on :-)

So did I press the send button? If you are reading this I guess so.... gulp!

[flamesabers]

Hello Huggy.

Welcome to the forum.

It's not uncommon for it to take longer than a month before you start to see some indicators of progress, especially when you spent the month ramping up your doses. My advice is to give your body more time to make use of the NBE herbs. Another consideration is your age. Generally speaking the younger you are the easier it is for the body to undergone the process of breast development. If you haven't already, I suggest looking at the NBE regimes of the members who are close to your age to get an idea of what to expect with NBE. Bryony, Sfem, and Pansy-Mae are a few that comes to mind.

As for spearmint, I have found that to be most effective for squashing my libidio. I don't take it now, but when I did the dosage was 800 mg.

[pom19]

Hi Huggy, and welcome aboard. As you said the slow and simple way is the way, so do not take too much of anything. I would drop the PM to 500 or 1,000mg a day. Also you need to exercise and have a healthy diet in order to have a curvy body. I wish you good progress,

POM

[Huggy]

Hi Flamesabers and Pom.

Thank you for your kind welcomes. I will admit I am still rather nervous about actually saying these things out loud (so to speak). But if you don't ask you don't learn, and you lot seem a genuinely kind and welcoming bunch :-)

Having pressed the send button (still can't believe I actually did that) I signed off and went to bed. By an amazing coincidence of timing I notice this morning my skin does actually feel a little softer! And I don't think it's my imagination. So maybe this stuff is starting to work after all. Woohoo!

After everything went pop 3 1/2 years ago I ended up with a major weight gain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and early stages of diabetes. Very proud to say that the diabetes now seems to be a thing of the past and making good progress on getting my weight back down. Still a ways to go, but it's going! Agree with you about exercise, in fact that's basically how to deal with CFS. A carefully controlled programme of exercising to build up underlying fitness but without sparking off the CFS. It does slow down progress though, so another thing to have patience with.

Thanks Flamesabers for the suggestion with Spearmint. I will halve the SP and introduce the Spearmint. And will look into the regimes of the member you mention.

Thanks Pom for the comment on the PM, I will wind that back too.

Any other suggestions gratefully received.

PHEW! So the journey begins then?

Huggy.

[pom19]

Hi Flamesabers and Pom.

Thank you for your kind welcomes. I will admit I am still rather nervous about actually saying these things out loud (so to speak). But if you don't ask you don't learn, and you lot seem a genuinely kind and welcoming bunch :-)

Having pressed the send button (still can't believe I actually did that) I signed off and went to bed. By an amazing coincidence of timing I notice this morning my skin does actually feel a little softer! And I don't think it's my imagination. So maybe this stuff is starting to work after all. Woohoo!

After everything went pop 3 1/2 years ago I ended up with a major weight gain, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and early stages of diabetes. Very proud to say that the diabetes now seems to be a thing of the past and making good progress on getting my weight back down. Still a ways to go, but it's going! Agree with you about exercise, in fact that's basically how to deal with CFS. A carefully controlled programme of exercising to build up underlying fitness but without sparking off the CFS. It does slow down progress though, so another thing to have patience with.

Thanks Flamesabers for the suggestion with Spearmint. I will halve the SP and introduce the Spearmint. And will look into the regimes of the member you mention.

Thanks Pom for the comment on the PM, I will wind that back too.

Any other suggestions gratefully received.

PHEW! So the journey begins then?

Huggy.

--------------------------------------------------------
Don't forget about a healthy diet. Let the past go along with any unhealthy food that you used to eat. POM

[sfem]

Welcome aboard, Huggy. Your story really is not uncommon, and I congratulate you on getting this far in life still mentally whole.
I have one or two thoughts you may find helpful.
I have found fenugreek can be useful in our quest, but I do think it competes with PM for your body's consumption. 2500mg of FG per day seems enormous to me. I would suggest that in addition to moderating the PM somewhat (maybe to 500-1500mg per day), consider using the FG in a similar dose and perhaps just for a week out of the month, not continuously if you are on PM. I can't comment on the milk thistle or licorice root not having been a user of those things. The SP and calcium are fine I think.
What I think will have a greater effect on your recognition of progress might be related to your comment about weight. You don't give any actual weight numbers, but if you are significantly overweight, I can tell you that you could very well have development that will not show because it is being masked. I would expect you would be starting to get some sensations from your nipples, or general chest area by the end of your second month. For some, it appears to start in the first few weeks, for others, it can take quite a bit longer. Stay the course. Overdosing doesn't help, and there is some evidence it actually hinders progress.
Hang in there, and I hope this new stage of life brings you health and happiness.

[jannet.duff]

Welcome to the site, as mentioned I would drop the Saw Palmetto. I do drink a lot of spearmint.tea, and find that helps. You should also probably try and drop any beverage that has caffine in it. The biggest help in droping your DHT down and allowing the PM to be more effective would be the white peony extract.

Good luck !

[Huggy]

Thank you so much for taking the time for these replies. Cannot tell you how much I appreciate your taking an interest, and being able to benefit from your wisdom and experience is priceless! BIG hugs for everybody! :-)

I have been able to spend some time today to try and get a better handle on the information on this forum and I realised that one mistake I made was not noticing the date stamp of the entries. An obvious mistake, but one that leads to great confusion as the current understanding of this subject has transformed almost beyond recognition from the earlier entries.

One aspect seems to be that less is actually more, together with a growing understanding of the subtle interactions between these substances. Which considering their complex nature shouldn't really be surprising.

You are absolutely right Pom, supplementing a rubbish diet with powerful herbs is not a good thing to do. And you are very astute, when troubles happen in life our diet is often the first thing to go. Proud to say that my diet is much better, and it's me controlling my food now not the other way around.

I really do appreciate your input Sfem. I hadn't picked up on FG competing with PM. Not that I doubt you, but there seemed to be the general opinion they were complementary? I will certainly keep your advice in mind.

To be completely honest, I hadn't mentioned my weight out of embarrassment. When things went squiffy I was effectively immobile for almost 2 years and although I wasn't actually eating much, not moving will screw everything up and the pounds pilled on. At my peak I hit (to my shame) 250lb. However, in the last 3 months I have been able to beat it down to 224lb. Still have a looong way to go but I seem to have hit on a way that works for me and the weight loss is continuing at a pace. And yes, I realise it will mask some of my progress but it also helps with the cover story ;-)

Again, thank you sooooo much for your input.

[Huggy]

Hi Jannet.

Yes, I have been thinking of switching over to Spearmint, it does seem to be growing in favour on here. I had picked up on dropping caffeine. But, oh I miss my cuppa tea soooo much! :-(

I have noticed WP being mentioned more too. Any suggestions on dosage?

Thanks :-)

[jannet.duff]

Hi Jannet.

Yes, I have been thinking of switching over to Spearmint, it does seem to be growing in favour on here. I had picked up on dropping caffeine. But, oh I miss my cuppa tea soooo much! :-(

I have noticed WP being mentioned more too. Any suggestions on dosage?

Thanks :-)

I must have admit, I never really measured the amount out. However, I buy my WP in 120mm bottles and take one full dropper in the morning and one at night.